Watch the subtitled video above if you prefer to listen to my advice.
In today’s video, we’re going to talk about manifestation and the law of attraction. Specifically with no contact. Does it make sense to try to manifest your ex back? That’s a very common thing that I see when I do keyword research that people think “I can just manifest my ex back into my life. I will just think about her and she’s going to come back. Law of attraction, vibrations, being on the same wavelength, this kind of stuff.” The question is, does this actually work? Or maybe is it just bullshit? So I have a message from a guy who is wondering exactly that. And the difficult thing about manifestation and the law of attraction and also no contact, actually, in particular, is that a lot of the times people use these kinds of techniques, methods, or whatever you want to call them, as wishful thinking, basically. It’s a way essentially to have no accountability and just hope for the best.
So, for example, you might go no contact and you’re hoping, yeah, I’m just going to go no contact. You read about no contact on the Internet. Maybe you’ve been searching a little bit and it sounds so great. “I’m going to go no contact and soon my ex is going to come back!” But just because you go no contact doesn’t mean that your ex is going to go come back to you. Yes, obviously, the time and the space is one factor, but also what are you doing while you’re doing no contact? How are you keeping yourself busy? How are you interacting with other people? How are you interacting with her if there’s any form of, in quotes, interactions such as stories that she’s watching, these kind of things. Everything that you do matters. Now, if you’re telling yourself “I’m just going to go no contact and I’m going to do wishful thinking, some manifestation, law of attraction. And I will think about my ex. I’m going to attract her back by just being positive“, or some bullshit like that. She’s probably not going to come back. But anyway, so let’s get into the message from the guy and let’s see what is my advice.
Plethora Of No Contact Strategies: What’s The Best Way To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back?
Hi, coach, I’m interested in your thoughts on manifestation and the law of attraction with breakups and the no contact rule. I’ve been reading a lot in the last week since my breakup and with my girlfriend for no contact. And I’ve also especially read a lot about manifestation. And I don’t know what I should believe right now. I’m overwhelmed with so much conflicting info about the proper no contact process.
So first of all, I guess shameless plug. That’s why I invented and crafted the PhoenEx program where I talk about all of these facts. And I guess one thing that I tried to do with this program was I really tried to boil it down to the most essential stuff. And there’s also not really any law of attraction BS in there, at least none of the, let’s just say, counterproductive law of attraction. So one of the most dangerous things that you can do that you probably have been doing is, you know, you have so much conflicting info. Right. You’ve been reading about no contact. You’ve been reading about law of attraction, manifestation. And who knows what other things you’ve been reading about?
The problem is the more you soak up knowledge, the more you read about these things, the more you’re going to get more conflicting info. You can find something on the Internet that makes perfect sense. That is 100 percent valid. And then you find something else on the Internet that is a slightly different angle. And that also perfectly makes sense. But anyway, when you put them together, you’re like, what the fuck? This makes no sense! The same thing happens with breakup education. I don’t want you to go down a rabbit hole and trying to overcomplicate the whole process. You just got to know some basic psychology, essentially. And once you know that basic psychology, you got to stick to the process, which is focusing on yourself. And so that’s what I did with my program. I try to keep it very simple because, well, I talk about a lot of complicated things in the program, but, you know, I just talk about the most essential stuff. If you just keep on reading and reading and reading to try to learn more and more and more, it doesn’t work. It’s the same thing like with cryptocurrency trading.
If you’ve ever done cryptocurrency trading, if you ever tried it when you are new, you will suck at it. And so you’re thinking: “I’m going to learn more about trading. I’m going to learn more about new trading indicators. I’m going to learn more about how trading volume works.” And you start reading more and more and more blog posts. And the more that you read about it, the more you get fucked up and the more you overcomplicate the process. That’s the same thing with breakups. You need to know some basics about breakups and relationships and how it works, the entire psychology, your psychology, psychology of your ex, and then make the most out of that. And so you’ve got to be careful to not go down that rabbit hole of just trying to go down that endless pit of more knowledge and information. Just something to keep in mind. OK, so let’s continue what you say.
Law Of Attraction To Get Your Ex Back: Manifest Your Ex To Love You Again The Right Way
I read a lot online about manifesting a specific person back through carefully reflecting and focusing on my desire to get back with my ex. And if I put enough energy into the process, my ex will eventually resonate with my positive energy and want to reach out to me because she will feel that it’s the right time to get back together. A part of me feels skeptical because I’m a very logical guy. And to a certain extent, it sounds a bit like magic or wishful thinking. But overall, the logic sounds pretty solid. If I vibrate on the same wavelength as my ex, then I’ll eventually re-attract her through my own vibrations.
Well, it sounds like a lot of hocus-pocus and voodoo. Now, the ironic part is in my book, I actually, I do believe, yes, I do touch a little bit on the law of attractions and vibrations and how people are on the same wavelengths. How this is… My book is with the focus on attraction with women. And, you know, if you’re on the same wavelength, a woman will be attracted to you. Yes, that’s obviously true! If you’re on the same wavelength, that’s going to happen. That’s going to help you. But you’re talking about like, you’re just going to basically, focus on your ex and focus on being positive and focus on “Her going to come back. She’s going to come back!” You’re going to tell yourself every single day, “She’s going to come back tomorrow. She’s going to come back every single day.” You tell yourself it’s going to happen now. “I know she’s going to come back. I know it. I just believe it.” It’s like the bullshit that you read in the book, The Secret. That’s not how it works! Just because you tell yourself she’s going to come back, she’s going to come back and you’re going to stay positive and you’re going to stay hopeful. And today I’m positive and hoping that she’s going to come back. Why would that make her come back? What that really means, be on the same wavelength and manifesting a person back or manifesting anything in general, actually, and using the law of attraction is that, yes, you have to be roughly on the same wavelength. So what that means is your ex is not on the same wavelength as you.
Women after a breakup, they tend to be quite happy. Actually, most of the time they are fairly happy. They are able to move on faster. They feel more pain in the beginning, but that fades incredibly fast. There have been studies on this. They’re just able to move on faster. Basically, there are several reasons why that is. There are probably three main reasons. Number one is they socialize more with their women friends. They also just talk more about their feelings. And of course, they can get laid much easier. So it’s much easier for them to move on. Eventually, it’s going to be more painful for them, but not for very long. So your ex is going to be on a very positive wavelength, essentially. For a while, she’s going to suffer. Then she’s going to probably have some rebounds, very likely, actually. And then after those rebounds, she will probably be a little bit unhappy. She won’t be too satisfied without you, without having someone that she truly loves, which she can be with… But her life will probably not suck too much. It won’t be amazing, of course, her life, but she won’t be miserable. The idea is only just with no contact and with being on the same wavelength to attract her back and use the law of attraction, manifesting all that stuff. You have to be on the same positive level.
No Contact Law Of Attraction: It’s In The Name — Be ATTRACTIVE To Get Your Ex Back With Manifestation
If she reaches out to you and you are a complete miserable guy and you’re just really hating your life, everything sucks. If she comes back and she can tell that you’re still miserable, she won’t want you back. So that’s really what this is about. It’s not about just, I don’t know, looking and standing in front of the mirror and telling yourself today is the day that she’s going to come back. I mean, do you think just because you do that, because she’s screaming to the universe, she’s going to come back? Ahhh… No, that’s nonsense. I am following someone on TikTok, a cute girl here from Bali. She makes nice posts, actually. She’s very thoughtful. She’s quite young. And for her age, she is very thoughtful. And she posts a lot about manifestation. And she made this post recently about her getting a new job remotely. And so, she’s going out of her comfort zone and she got the job remotely. Good for her! And she’s like, you know, like “I quit my job. And before even getting the new job, I already quit. And then I moved to Bali,” I think. And then she was just trying really hard to get the job. And look, she probably worked really hard for it. And that’s amazing for her, right? She works hard for what she wants. And that’s how manifestation actually works. Right. So she did that part perfectly. That girl, she did all the right things.
But one thing that I noticed when she posts about the manifestation is that she always to an extent confuses coincidence with whatever you want to call it, destiny or hard work. Right. So she got that job. Sure. But that could also just be fucking luck, honestly. When things work out in life, typically it’s the fact that shit didn’t go wrong. Yes, sometimes things have to go really, really right to get something done. But most of the time when things don’t go wrong, like it’s or when you’re getting what you want in life, it’s because you worked relatively hard for it and shit didn’t hit the fan. But that girl, for example, she quit her job even before she got some new job. That was like crazy risky and that could have gone terribly wrong, quite frankly. And you should also have that same mindset that look, you can’t just do wishful thinking and then hope for the best. You can’t just wish that you’re going to get your ex back and then you’re going to jump into no contact and it’s guaranteed that she’s going to be back. No, you’ve got to work hard for that. You’ve got to work hard on yourself, on your mindset, on your positivity, on being the strong king that she fell in love with. If you don’t do that, all the wishful thinking will never solve any of your problems. OK, so let’s continue what you say about manifestation. So you say you believe in all that vibration stuff.
Ex Back Affirmations: Get To Work On Yourself! Ex Back Manifestation Is Not Wishful Thinking!
But I don’t really know what is the right thing to focus on while I’m doing no contact. How do I direct my focus and attention towards my ex-girlfriend? What should I do to really make this work? Do you think it is a good idea to have positive affirmations daily to encourage myself with maintaining no contact?
Well, no, like I just said, just some wishful thinking about your ex, about today’s the day she’s going to come back. That’s the wrong thing. Actually, there’s something that you’re misunderstanding here completely. You’re asking, how do I direct my focus and attention towards my ex-girlfriend? You don’t. Don’t freaking focus your attention towards your ex. The whole point of if you want to do manifestation and law of attraction is that you become really amazing. You work hard, you hit the gym, you work on your business, you do whatever it takes to basically become successful. So, for example, I guess probably today is the day that I’m changing the screen on my YouTube channel because I now introduced my new training program for getting an ex back and putting it out really quickly, really visibly on my channel. Right. So I worked really hard on that program. I worked like probably six months on it with all the research and all that stuff. Yes, obviously, I worked really hard, so I want to reap the rewards. But you’ve got to do the hard work for that. You can’t just…
Let me give you an example with the program. I can’t just wish that the program comes out and then do no marketing and blah, blah, blah and so on. So I made a few sales with the program and launched it maybe two weeks ago. But I’m still relatively early with it. And I, for example, still have not figured out yet how do I sell it to people who don’t know me? How do I run ads and sell it? So, so far I launched it or I only made sales with people who are organic traffic from my YouTube channel because you guys know me, you trust me. And so you’re more likely to buy the program from me. But I have not yet figured out how do I sell this program to people who just never heard of me because I run an ad, they have no fucking idea who the hell I am. They don’t trust me. How do I optimize my landing page for these people to buy from me? Well, I got to work hard for that. I got to actually do something for that. I can’t just wish that I drive more traffic to the website and magically it’s going to happen. No, something with my website copy doesn’t work. The pictures suck. The video sucks. The sales video sucks. Something stops those people who don’t know me from buying. So we got to actually work hard for that. That’s the same thing with no contact. You’ve got to work hard on yourself. You’ve got to focus and become the kind of guy who is attractive.
In the same way how I got to be attractive for the people who don’t know me to sell them that program. You’ve got to be attractive to your ex. And the only way how you can do that is with hard work. Essentially, there’s no other way around it. And to focus your attention on your ex specifically to say you’re focusing on what she’s doing, how happy she is, what she’s posting. You’re thinking about what is she thinking? What is she busy with? Is she dating someone? All these things will make it much harder for you to maintain no contact. You’re going to screw up. You’re going to become very insecure. And most importantly, you’re not going to focus on the stuff that actually matters. If you really want to re-attract your ex, if you really want to become like a magnet, to really pull her closer towards you, she needs to see that you’re amazing. So you got to stop focusing on your ex and you got to start focusing on yourself. It is the whole point of attracting something into your life as you got to work hard for that. And what attracts your ex back into your life? The fact that you are attractive again. Attraction and re-attraction are for the most part the same thing. If your ex feels that you’re attractive again, well, guess what? She’s going to reach out.
But if she can see that, you know, whatever, you are not fit or you look unhealthy or you post a lot of bitter shit on your social media, maybe you’re still crying about her and making long posts or something like that. And she can tell that you don’t have your shit together. Your life is not in order. Just like any other woman, if she can tell that, if she can see that you don’t have a shit in order, you know, your ex is going to be even stronger with this reaction. If your ex can see, fuck, he’s still the same crazy guy, you know, was crazy after the breakup and was desperate and so on. She’s going to run for the hills faster than you can say the word hill. So, look, do you need affirmations? If you want to do affirmations, then do some affirmations for goals. Set some goals. Such as, for example, you know, like I said, I have my goal with right now. I want to turn my course into an automated machine for the most part. I want to scale up basically. Everything that I’ve done since I started my YouTube channel, like maybe one year for one year now or so has been manual. My coaching sessions are manual. My videos, everything that I’ve done was very manual and very laborious process. So I’m trying to figure out how can I optimize my work? How can I also get more ROI? That’s why I created the course, right? Now I’m working really hard towards that.
So let’s say that would be your goal or in your case, maybe you want to also build a business, for example, something that looks attractive to your ex. Or maybe you want to read more about relationships. Maybe you want to understand women better. So you pick a book or you are reading a book about how to drive traffic to your website. I’m reading a book from Russell Brunson right now, Traffic Secrets, to learn more about how does this whole traffic stuff work with ads and all that stuff. How do you build funnels and all that stuff? I don’t know anything about this kind of stuff, so I’m learning about it. Maybe you have something else as well that you want to pursue. Right. Then you make positive affirmations about that. So, for example, in my case, I suck at marketing. I suck at the whole funnel stuff. I’m not really my forte. I’m more a creative guy. I’m a techy guy. I’m a designer guy. Marketing is really not my thing, honestly. And so an affirmation for me would be to wake up in the morning and say: “Today I am to read this book. I’m going to try to understand this. I’m going to tweak this today. I’m going to kick ass. I’m going to make a change on my website. I’m going to analyze what is happening. What are the metrics? Did I improve anything? Did it get better? If more people click on the Buy Now button and I’m going to tell myself things that are relevant for my goals.”
Your goal is not to get your ex back. I know that’s what you want, but that is not your goal. If that is your goal, you’re failing. Anybody here watching this, if you, for example, would get my course, you would know that is the worst way to get an ex back. You have to focus on yourself, become a king. You are a king. And you think that your ex is a queen, right? Your queen, your ex, she only wants to be with a king. If you’re not on top of your game, she has no reason to get back with you because you already disappointed her in some way in the past. That’s why you want her back and you’re trying to figure out how to get her back. So the reality is the guys with the most value get the girls, whether that’s an ex or a new woman. If you’re not high-value, why would a woman want you? Why would your ex want you? So stop focusing on your ex and start focusing on who do you want to be who is really attractive? You can incorporate into that what did your ex like about you or what did women in general like about you? Why are women attracted to you?
Now you take that and you 200x that. You 300x it. That person who I am or who I can be in the future, that potential that I have. How can I twofold that? How can I threefold that? How can I increase it so much that I am basically unignorable? That’s what you’ve got to do with positive affirmations. And then you work on that hard and you can tell yourself every day if you want to do positive affirmations, it will put you in a good emotional state. That is good because then you become really confident. And once you become more confident, you become more confident to try new things. And then you get results. And then it snowballs and it kind of becomes a feedback loop. You feel good about yourself, you become more confident, so you do more good stuff. And then again, you feel better about yourself, it becomes a circle that just gets better and better. So that’s what you should be doing. All right. So let’s continue. I guess you’re about to wrap it up.
False Hope During No Contact: Manifesting Your Ex Girlfriend Is Not About Blind Hope — It’s Work
I am hurting a lot right now because of the breakup and no contact is difficult for me, but reading a lot about going no contact has given me hope that I can get back with my ex. I feel that my relationship with my ex and I was too special to just let go of it easily and I’m convinced we can solve our problems if only she actually opens up to the idea of working things out. But right now I am very far from that. We only broke up four weeks ago, and right now I’m feeling like I haven’t made a lot of progress yet. I hope you can give me advice what you think I can do to manifest her back in the smartest way possible. Thanks. Always grateful for your content. Take care.
Well, the thing that I would probably suggest to you is because you mentioned that no contact is giving you hope. And I love giving all of you guys hope on my YouTube channel or if you buy my program as well, feel hopeful. But for example, my program, I never bullshit. Everything in that program is based on studies, on real data, on my experience with my clients. And I don’t sell you bullshit, wishful thinking that is not realistic or not true. So the problem that I see sometimes is that people have false hope. They give themselves too much false hope and then they become complacent. So they read about no contact and then they think “I’m just going to go no contact for 90 days and it’s been good. We haven’t had any problems. We didn’t have any fights. Feel like things are getting better.” If you’re actually improving as a person, as a man, if you are increasing your physique, your business, your money, your status, your friendships and so on, if you’re improving in some ways, yes, then you can feel hopeful and you can feel good about yourself. But you shouldn’t feel hopeful about them, like just because you read a little bit about no contact. Now your chances to get your ex back have increased.
I think the hardest part about no contact, in the entire process about of getting an ex back is that a lot of people make it about getting an ex back and then they put all their hope, all their dreams, everything that they want into that one hope of getting their ex back. And then what happens is what you have been basically doing. You’ve been asking, hey, how can I redirect my attention, my energy, my vibrations towards my ex? That’s not how it’s going to be. You’ve got to redirect that away from your ex towards yourself. And then she will just come automatically because you are a magnet, right? You have to turn yourself into that magnet. So you actually got to work hard on yourself. So if no contact is difficult for you, typically, there are two reasons. There are some psychological principles that I can’t go into right now because the video is probably already too long. Yes, it is. And I talk about this in principle or in detail with infographics and animations in my course. But basically, you are focusing too much on your ex. You’re not focusing on yourself.
And so you’re stuck in this eternal loop of just focusing on the heartbreak when you should use all that pain instead to say: “All of this pain and all this hurt that I’m feeling right now… I fucking hate this! I never want to go through something like this ever again. Whether I get my ex back or not, I’ve had enough. Something was wrong. My ex probably did something wrong. I for sure also did something wrong.” If your relationship failed most of the time, both of you have responsibilities. So you’ve got to figure out what are the things that went wrong on your end. What are the poor choices that you make in your relationships and life in general? Work on yourself, level up, step up the ladder, become a king, become a force to be reckoned with. And then when your ex comes back and probably if you follow that process, you will look much more attractive and that increases your chances for her to want to get back. But it’s not about putting up, just having that false hope. It’s not about just wishing every day, today is the day that she’s going to come back and all your energy is directed towards her. No, direct all the energy inwards towards yourself. Become amazing.
And then she will probably come back either because of that. Maybe she will also come back even if you completely ignored that… Sometimes exes come back even if you do a lot of things wrong. Quite frankly, it depends on your ex. Sometimes, you know, depending on your relationship what happened and so on, maybe you have a very easy case where your ex comes back quite easily and you don’t really have to work hard for it. But sometimes you’ve got to work quite hard for it. And my opinion is whatever the scenario is with your ex, you should always work hard on yourself because you’re a man. And for me, being a man means working hard AF. That’s just how I see life. I hate complacency. I hate mediocracy. And I think that’s what you should do. Work hard on yourself. Forget, fuck, forget all the attention towards your ex and redirect all of that stuff back towards you. All right. So that’s my advice to you. Let me know in the comments what you think. Give me a thumbs up. Subscribe to the channel and never forget to unleash the king within.
