Ghosted! What to do if she doesn’t text back? Dealing with women ghosting you.

Oct 31, 2021 | Dating & Attraction

Watch the subtitled video above if you prefer to listen to my advice.

We’re gonna talk about what happens when you are really into a woman, the woman is actually into you, but then she ghosts you. I got a message from a guy who had good chances of getting a really hot woman at his office, but he still had feelings for his ex and that’s why he screwed it up. So obviously, that didn’t work out so well. Let’s get into it.

So he says: “What’s up, coach? I hope you’re doing well and staying safe.

Thank you, yes I am.

I would like to get your thoughts on a great girl that I met recently. Her and I worked in the same office and at different companies. I would often work near the couch, which was right next to the entrance of our office where I could often see tons of hot women passing by, because they all worked in a real estate office, and I guess sex sells.

Nice! So you’re strategically placing yourself in the right place to see these really hot women. That’s a good idea and you can probably flirt with these women when they’re passing by your office. That’s a pretty good setup. I have to say real estate women are typically very hot!

So he then says: “This was actually great eye contact practice for me to be honest. I would often sit and work from the couch with my laptop on purpose just so I could flirt with some of the hot women passing by. It was a lot of fun and helped me to overcome some of my shyness.

Yeah, nice! It’s a good strategy to practice eye contact and flirting with women, because you… I mean they’re just passing by and you can just see which one likes me. You can look at her eyes, flirt with your eyes. It’s good practice and you can do the same thing if you just go out of your office during lunch break and try to flirt with women that you see on the street. Always practice this game. Level up your confidence slowly until it doesn’t feel so scary to just walk over to a woman and flirt with her. “Hey I like you” and then walk over to her and start a conversation. So good job for practicing!

He says: “So anyway, one day I am just leaving the office and there was this hot and flirty woman, who approached me and asked me to go out for an after-work drink with them. In retrospect, she was seriously crazy and an eccentric woman lol but it was having fun having a beer with them.

Well, even if she’s crazy and eccentric, she’s hot. You know, maybe it’s a friends of benefits or a one-night stand. Why not?

Anyway, he says: “We definitely wouldn’t have worked out as a couple which actually played in my favor because after having drinks that day, she had told me that there is this woman at her office, Apple, who was into me and she was friends with her.

Nice! She’s hooking you up!

I will just mention this here for the record: She looks as delicious as her name sounds.

Well, Apple, apples are delicious. So she must be very hot!

She was incredibly beautiful and always wearing mini skirts whenever we would see each other. It was like we both brightened up each other’s day.

So there is chemistry and this woman is hooking you up with her. Hell yeah! That’s awesome!

He says: “So it turned out that she was basically planning on being a wing woman for Apple. I then saw the wing woman girl again a few days later at the office and she tells me that Apple is into me, and says that we should go out together, and she asked me if she could introduce us to each other. I said ‘sure I’d love to’ and so she texts her about me. Apparently, she was too shy to come out of the office that time so she asked me if I want to talk to her on the phone and I agreed.

Nice move! Many men are too scared to just be on a phone with a woman. If you match with a woman on a dating app and if you have the balls to just call her up right away, or relatively fast, that shows confidence. Same way, you didn’t hesitate here. You’re like “she wants to talk to me on the phone? Well hell yeah! I would love to hear her voice. I want to set up the date.” Good job! That shows confidence!

So he says: “So we had a nice quick chat. Of course, it was kind of funny because we both knew we were into each other. So anyway, I basically asked her out to grab lunch later and we met up at a Japanese resto. We had a really great lunch but I think I made one big mistake…

So until this moment, everything was fine. You like each other, you’re already eye flirting, and then she asks you “Do you want to hang out with her? Do you want to meet her?” and you go right on the phone and when you’re on the phone, right away you’re like “okay let’s have lunch later” So that’s not bad that’s game. You’re really making good swift moves here that shows confidence and it will show her that she can trust you. A woman who trusts discovers her lust. And this woman at this point must be into you, but like you mentioned, you made one big mistake. Let’s get into it.

He says: “I hadn’t been in a relationship for a while because I was just starting to really heal from a relationship. For anyone listening, it’s really so essential to use no contact to focus on yourself. I was slowly starting to get over my ex-girlfriend but I wasn’t fully there yet and she could tell.

So before we get further into it… This guy knows what he’s talking about! No-contact should not just be used to maybe get your ex back. It should be used to get yourself back. To be confident again. And as you can see, it’s working with him. He’s been focusing on himself. No contact, not to get his ex back but to just be happy with himself. And now he’s at his office, flirting with these hot women and he’s having a date set up. This is the power of no contact. So good job for not just being obsessed with your ex but also just being obsessed with yourself! Seeing yourself as a king. Unleashing the king within. That’s how it needs to be done.

He then says: “She could tell that I still had a little bit of feelings for my ex. We did talk about my ex, which in retrospect probably was not a good idea. I forgot how the topic came up but I assume that I was kind of the one who lead it in that direction.

Pretty much. It’s pretty unlikely that this girl who’s really into you is like “Tell me about your last relationship and tell me about your ex.” So you still have feelings for your ex, obviously. It’s not a bad thing. You can’t help it. That’s just how it is. I don’t know how long you were together but obviously it was a mistake to mention your ex because at this point she’s like really into you and I mean this sounded like… this situation sounded really good, like you could probably seduce this woman really quickly, because there was a lot of chemistry, and she was really into you, and you made swift moves, but then you made a mistake with the ex. So she doesn’t like that.

He says: “Anyway, overall it was a great date and we stayed in touch. A few weeks later, we both were in the same city where lots of people go for weekend parties, and I was partying with my friends. So I asked her to come over but she never came over.

Whoops, she’s flaking!

I don’t know why because she was so interested in me. I messaged her the following day that I was waiting for her and she replied ”sorry I was busy with my friends.’…

I wouldn’t have messaged that at all. If she didn’t come over, if you told her “hey come over” and she didn’t come over, maybe she was talking to another guy. Or maybe she was turned off by the thing with the ex. Or maybe it was both. It doesn’t matter. The bottom line is she didn’t come over. So you don’t reward her by messaging her again, and especially saying “Hey, I was waiting for you. Where were you?” That’s kind of needy and insecure and she already thinks that you’re needy and insecure because of the ex thing. So doing it again just decreases your chances further.

So he says: “Ever since then, I essentially never heard from her again. Now, it’s important to mention that she did have sort of an ex in the picture, or rather that the father of her daughter. They didn’t seem to be dating and split up on good terms, but I don’t know if this is why.

Maybe. But if they were on good terms and you think there was no issue there, then it was probably more your insecurity. Maybe she’s over her ex and everything’s fine, and they split up their responsibilities with their child, and there’s no drama involved, and she’s ready to date again. Because probably, that was really heartbreaking for her and was not easy for her after a divorce, or a breakup with your partner, whom you have children with. So she probably took a long time to heal from that and now she’s ready to get back into the game, but then she meets someone who is not fully ready to get back into the game. So that’s probably why she’s losing interest.

So he says: “Anyway, the problem I have is that she now essentially ghosted me, which is odd because we got along so well on our first date. I’m not sure how I could turn this situation around. As I said, we both work at the same office so I still see her, but it’s like she’s no longer flirting with me when we see each other. Do you have any suggestion what I could do to reignite the spark with her?

Well, the only thing that you can do is stop messaging her. I would also not flirt with her anymore, probably. I would probably just be polite and say Hi or maybe look at her possibly, obviously, if you pass by each other, but that’s it just for the sake of being polite and not being an asshole or being butthurt. Because some guys can’t deal with rejection. So show her that you have confidence and if she doesn’t make a move, your world doesn’t fall apart. Yeah, whatever! There’s so many hot women at this office, apparently. So she’s one out of ten. So who cares? Obviously, you care but I wouldn’t show that to her. And you should have the mindset that you shouldn’t care.

And what I would do is, well, if you still, for example, work at that window where you see all of these hot women passing by, you see her pass by, now I wouldn’t even acknowledge her. I wouldn’t even look at her. You know, if you catch a glimpse of her by chance, sure you can look at her but don’t look away. Don’t be insecure now all of a sudden. But I also wouldn’t just drool all over her and be like “Oh wow, notice me.” You know, you’re still looking at her. No, I would just work. You know, if you see her passing by, if I’ll be working, I would see her, you know, she’s about to walk over, I’d be like “Okay, yeah, whatever.

Just don’t be so intimidated by her, basically. And you can’t convince her to come back by forcing her more. She has to notice that you are not that insecure as you made it out to be. Okay, you mentioned your ex, it was a problem, you’re not fully healed yet, but I mean where is the threshold, right? She’s probably just scared that she might be a rebound and she can’t trust you, because you’re talking too much about your ex. So you have feelings for her and she doesn’t want to get into something, where she basically fucks herself over because you can’t fully commit to her, eventually. And so just take it easy. Don’t try to convince her to date you. Show her that you can be secure. Show her that you don’t need her validation and you don’t need your ex’s validation. And hope that she comes back or that she messages you again on whatsapp or wherever you are talking.

I’m not sure if you’re mentioning this but I mean you must have her number, obviously, so just wait for her to reach out. And if she doesn’t reach out then well, like I said, what about the crazy chick. I mean, you maybe don’t want to date her but I mean maybe you want to have some good sex with her. Who knows?! Get yourself out there. Date some more women. If it doesn’t work out with her… Apples are nice but what else are there? Mangoes are nice as well! So there’s a lot of hot women out there and so don’t don’t think that this one is the only one on the planet. I know it worked really well with her but don’t put her on a pedestal. Just wait for her if she goes to you. You can’t do anything about that she comes back and says “Sorry for ghosting. Sorry I was busy” or whatever. Then you know you can try it again. And chemistry was good until then, so just wait for her to make a move and then you seduce her and next time don’t mention your ex, obviously.

And then it seems like this was going quite well, overall. Just set up dates at night. At your place. Or her place and then you seduce her, you unleash the king within. So let me know what you think about this. Do you agree with the take do you not agree with this take? Of course, give me a thumbs up if you liked the video, and subscribe to the channel. Again, I’m Andy Graziosi, helping you unleash your confidence and be the man that your dream woman loves. I’ll see all of you kings in the next video. Do not forget to unleash the king within.

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