Watch the subtitled video above if you prefer to listen to my advice.
What’s up, kings? So sometimes when you’re dating really hot women, it does feel a little bit like you’re playing with fire. Especially with the very hot women. And that is because they want to see can you handle the fire? Can you handle the heat? They are putting on shit tests, they’re teasing you, they want to see how confident you are, and ultimately a woman wants to be with a man who is strong, masculine, confident, and who can deal with the heat of the battle. And she wants to know that you can deal with her throwing some cheeky remarks at you, especially if she challenges you. So I have a situation from a guy. He thinks that the girl that he’s dating is playing mind games. There’s a little bit of playing with fire here. She’s very hot and he could probably have her but he’s not passing the shit tests. So let’s get right into it.
He says: “Dear Mr. Graziosi, please help me with this woman. I am going crazy! I have known this woman for almost 4 months, she is a total dream woman. She is smart, funny, easy-going, has a stable career and she is very attractive. And on a side note, she is also very classy. She’s one of those women who knows how to play her genetic cards right. She’s got a hot body and always dresses up sexy. Not promiscuous but just the right mix between eye-catching and classy.”
So she’s a catch and she probably knows it. It’s probably also why you’re messaging me about a woman who’s playing mind games with you.
He says: “I’ve never met such an intense woman in my entire life but my problem is that I can’t get her to go on more dates with me. I only went on a single date with her which I think went nicely. We had a late-night coffee shop date. Our first conversation was great but nothing happened, like a good night kiss or hooking up. So I’ve never been physical with this woman but she keeps on flirting with me. Yet at the same time, she’s never following up on her flirty messages.”
Well, so you have to realize that probably a lot of guys are thinking the same thing that you’re thinking. That you’ve never met such an intense woman in your life. So she probably knows that she can play all of you. So maybe she’s having a little bit of her fun. She’s trying to see who can she not play? Who can she not manipulate? Because women don’t want to be with someone that they can manipulate. Once she can deceive, she’s going to leave. So she’s sending you flirty messages. The problem is you’re not escalating. You went to a coffee shop date on your first date. What do you expect? To seduce a woman at a coffee shop? It’s not gonna happen.
She probably doesn’t even dress up sexy when going to a coffee shop, whereas if you, for example, would take her out on a fancy dinner, she’ll probably dress sexy and quite hot, and she wants to show her genetic cards, like you said. But it was like a coffee shop date. I mean, I go on coffee shop dates with my friends. I don’t go on coffee shop dates with hot women. That’s just not the way to go most of the times. Anyways, I mean, maybe if there’s no other choice, perhaps, but if you already set it up in the late at night, then go out and have some drinks. Have beers. Go to a bar. Go to a restaurant. Or go to a restaurant and then go have some beers. You know, you have to facilitate for things to happen with her.
So he then says: “For example, six weeks ago she sent me a super big tease. She sent me a picture on Whatsapp of her eating a banana with a caption saying: ‘Never make eye contact while eating a banana.’ I assume you get what she was hinting at but basically, she sent me a picture that suggested that she was blowing a dick. I was really shocked and just replied with some laughing crying emojis. We didn’t really talk more after that.”
I mean that woman is the bomb! So if she’s sending something so teasing… “Never make eye contact while eating a banana“… she wants to see how are you going to respond to that. So what I probably would have said is… you know, you’re just sending crying laughing emojis… I would have said something cheeky like “Hey, have some bananas over here at my place. You want to come over and eat some more bananas?” You know, and just test and see how she responds. She wants to know how do you respond to this. Maybe she sends the same message to other guys as well, you never know. And the guy who says something flirty back is probably going to win her approval. He’s going to win her affection. She’s going to trust that man. So I would have totally gone into this. I would have used that flirty message to say “Hey, come over and show me how you eat your bananas!”
So he then says: “Four weeks ago I replied to one of her stories on Instagram. She was playing badminton with her friends and I thought it would be a great idea to ask her out to play with me. And I asked her ‘Hey, I never tried badminton. Do you want to play and teach me a little?’… she said yes to it and we scheduled our badminton date a week later on a Saturday, but on Saturday morning when I messaged her ‘See you later,’ she all of a sudden canceled on me and said that she had to help her mom with doing groceries. She said ‘I’m sorry but my mom needs my help. Let’s do it some other time, okay? I’ll let you know when I am free.’…”
So the good thing is at least she’s saying “Hey, there’s a possibility for another time.” So again, she is testing.
So he says: “But she never suggested another time for our badminton date, which really hurt seeing because I saw her playing badminton again. She posted another story and I guess she saw that I watched her story. So she must know that I saw that she was playing badminton again but without me.”
So when she told you that she has to help her mom with the groceries, maybe it’s true. Who knows but it’s kind of unlikely. Probably again, you could have said something cheeky, like “Yeah, it’s fine if you need to help your mom. But you know what? I think you owe me a massage, or something like that so next time after we play badminton. We’re gonna go to my place and I deserve a massage for you for flaking on me. Something like that.” If she’s flirty, she’s gonna be like “You want a massage? I’ll give you a massage.” and you know, massages very often lead to sex.
He then says: “About two weeks ago she sent me a message again. She sent me a picture of her having dinner. The caption of the photo said ‘I really miss you. Wish you were here.’… And I asked her where she was at right now, which she read, but did not respond to it.”
Well, I would not ask her where are you? I’d say “Hey, come over. I miss you too.” Again, you have to make something happen. She’s testing you. She wants to see if you have the balls to make something happen. If she’s flirting with you, all you have to do is reciprocate and not just be very passive. You have to be aggressive about this and invite her because she’s the one who’s being aggressive with her messages.
So he then says: “A week later she replied to one of my stories. My story was a clip from my GoPro riding my dirt bike through a forest. She said ‘Wow that is so wild. You really know how to ride in the danger zone. You have to show me sometime how you do it.’ It’s pretty obvious that’s a naughty ambiguous flirtatious message. So this time I said ‘Haha, yes, it’s really fun! You want to try?’ which she said ‘I’d love to. Let’s do it soon.’ and then again crickets for a week until I heard from her again just today.”
Well, at least you kind of tried to reciprocate but you were not really aggressive. What I would have said is “Yeah, sure. I’m gonna teach you how to ride. I think you’re probably gonna be really good at riding. You wanna try now? Come over and then I’ll teach you.” You know, again, if she’s flirty reciprocate with the flirting, and if she hears something like that like “You want to try? You want to try riding it? I think you’re going to be really good at riding. I’ll teach you how to ride.” She’s probably going to be turned on. But you’re being very passive, very minimal with your responses. She’s clearly showing you that she’s into you. Maybe she’s playing a little bit mind games, she’s certainly testing you, but all you have to do is pass those tests.
So he then says: “I’m going insane. It’s back and forth. She keeps on seenzoning me, or sending me flirty and naughty messages, but when I suggest that we should do something together, she basically ignores me or flakes on me. Why does she keep on messaging me with this naughty stuff, if she doesn’t want to commit to anything more serious?”
Well, she’s sending you naughty messages and naughty stuff because she’s feeling naughty. She wants to be seduced by you. But you’re not making it happen. So she doesn’t want to commit. She wants to be seduced by you. She wants to have sex. Right now, everything is casual. You haven’t even kissed her, I believe. So that’s not what she wants. She doesn’t want to commit to a relationship or a date. She wants to commit to you being confident and taking off her clothes. Turning her on. Making her wet. And that is what she wants. That’s why she’s sending you these really obvious messages, like the message of the banana was so obvious what she was trying to say. And if you would have turned her on by replying in a similar way, in a flirty way, probably, you could have gotten her over to your place and she would have eaten that banana, if you get what I’m saying.
So he then wraps it up saying: “This woman is really hot and when we do talk, our conversations are really fun. But I feel like she is toying with me. It’s like she has no real interest to meet up with me, but likes to get attention from me. What’s your suggestion what I should do with her? Her mixed signals are super confusing. On one side she sends really dirty messages, on the other she doesn’t follow through on anything. I’m at my wit’s end with this woman. Does she want me or not is she just playing games with me? I need your help. What’s your advice?”
So like I said, you have to also start playing games. If she likes that psychological warfare, if she likes to turn on guys, she probably wants to see who is going to reciprocate. Most guys, when they get messages like this, they are trying to be politically correct. They’re trying to not be misogynistic. They’re trying to say the right thing. Especially nowadays in our times. It’s always being frowned upon on saying something sexy, or something that objectifies women. But you can tell she is kind of objectifying herself here. She wants to be used by you. She wants to be seduced. She wants to have sex with you.
Otherwise, she wouldn’t be sending those messages. Maybe she does want the tension as well, because she’s very hot, because she gets attention all the time. But like I said: If she can deceive, she will leave. So you have to stop acting like she can use you and manipulate you. And instead of being very passive, and you know, there are probably 10 other guys out there who are sending similar messages. There’s probably that one guy who has the balls to send something flirty and naughty back. And that is the guy that she is going to have sex with. So what do you need to do? Be a little bit more cheeky. Be a little bit more naughty and nasty.
Show her that this is what you want and you show her that you can tell what she’s saying. You don’t have to say it very directly. You know, it’s just wordplay. It’s metaphors. And that is going to turn her on. That’s all you have to do. So when you feel like you’re playing with fire, when you feel like it’s getting hot, you have to reciprocate with more fire. Don’t become cold. Don’t become boring. Show her that you got what it takes to handle her flame. And then you can seduce her. So let me know what you think in the comments below. Give me a thumbs-up, of course, subscribe, and don’t forget to unleash the king within.