Watch the subtitled video above if you prefer to listen to my advice.
In today’s video, we’re gonna talk about the big problem for all of us guys. Looks, money, status. Every woman wants this, but what do you do if you don’t have it? What if you’re still young? What if you’re still in your 20s? What if you’re still developing yourself? Maybe what if you’ve gone through a really difficult time where you lost a lot of money, lost your business. A lot of people lost their businesses during COVID or their source of income or their job. There are a lot of problems that can happen in life and women want a man who’s self-developed and who can provide for them, of course. So what do you do if you’re struggling? And what if you feel like you don’t have what it takes to make a woman happy? So in today’s video, I have a message from a guy who is in his 20s, late 20s, and he’s struggling with this problem. He’s clearly from the US and in the US, unfortunately, there’s a lot of student debt and so he doesn’t really know how to deal with this with dating. So let’s get into this message. Let’s see what I have to say.
Looks Money Status Theory: Women Want A Man Who Is A Challenge — Not A Man Child Who Gets 0 Done
Hello, coach. I hope you can share your advice with me about what to do for a guy who’s in his late 20s and still fairly shy and insecure with women. I’ve swallowed the red pill quite heavily, especially in the past year and I have woken up to the realization that women want the man of status. Looks money status, basically.
Yep.
I’m 27 and it’s extremely difficult to compete with a man in his 30s or 40s who has all his shit figured out and everything is in order.
So quick reality check here. There is always a guy who has his shit more in order than you. Yes, I know some guys have more money than you. I know some guys will be hotter than you. Some guys have more muscles than you. They’re more defined. Some guys have a better social circle than you. But the thing is, when do you stop comparing yourself? Of course, you need to hit a certain threshold, right? You need to have a certain amount of money. You need to be stable. At the very least, you can’t feel insecure like you can’t pay your bills or what if in the next three months, for example, you have a hospital bill or something like this, you’re not gonna be ruined. That’s the most basic level of stability that you need to be able to offer to a woman. And of course, the higher you go on the ladder, the better. But is everybody born to become a billionaire and be able to provide a gigantic villa for a woman? No, of course not.
So you definitely need to have some compassion with yourself. Obviously, you wanna be strong, self-developed and work on yourself and be a man of status, but nobody’s born perfect. And if a woman expects you to be perfect, then she belongs to the trash because ultimately relationships are something that we walk together as a couple. And there are hardships in life. Everything is going to suck for us at some point in our lives. I actually have a friend who used to be a millionaire and then he used to be broke. Now he’s making a lot of money again, but you know, sometimes life gets bad. You wanna be with a woman who just ditches you if life gets a little bit bad? No, you wanna be with a loyal woman. So that’s something to keep in mind.
I’m Not Attractive To Women: Dating Women When You’re Poor — Can You Date Without Money?
The truth of the matter is this just isn’t who I am or where I am at right now. In fact, I am still paying off my student debts and don’t live in an amazing apartment. So you can understand how it is difficult to succeed with women when comparing yourself with all the other guys out there who are starting from a different place.
Now on one side, I can understand that and I can agree with the problem. You’re still paying off your student debts. But at the other side of the coin, it’s a lot about perception. I still remember when I was in Bali, I’m not sure if I would say I was doing amazing. I had some problems there, but women were just so fucking into me. And it was because I really appreciated myself. So even though I wasn’t where I wanted to be in life yet, I acted like I am there already with my mindset. That you know what, fine. I haven’t achieved all my goals yet, but the bottom line is you gotta have a vision for yourself and walk toward that vision. Know that it doesn’t matter when you’re going to arrive at that spot, at the destination. You’re not gonna stop. You are a king.
And no matter how long it takes for you to build your empire, your business, whatever you wanna achieve in life, you have a big dream and you’re going to go for it and you’re never gonna give up. You’re gonna persevere. And that is something that is really attractive to a woman. And it’s really attractive when you haven’t figured everything out yet, but you’re like, you know what, fuck it. This guy who’s 40 years old, he’s 10 years older than me, and he looks like he has everything figured out, but who the fuck cares? It’s about me. I value myself and I value the point that I am at in life right now. And in the future, I’m gonna be even better. So any woman who would be with me can call herself fucking lucky because she’s with a man who’s going to build a freaking empire. That’s the kind of mindset that you gotta have because it’s also a lot about your vibe.
And right now I can tell that your vibe is most likely very insecure because of this, because you don’t feel that you have what it takes. Can you not get an amazing woman because you’re still paying off student debts or because you don’t have an amazing apartment? No, you can still find an incredible woman, but it’s all about how you show up. How do you walk into a room? Do you actually think that you are the shit or not? And I feel like right now you don’t feel like you’re the shit. You feel like you are shit in the negative sense. But what I’m talking about is you feel like I’m the shit. I’m the best guy in the room. That’s how you gotta feel even if you’re not yet the best guy in the room. It’s about confidence.
Women Want Providers: Is It Harder To Date As You Get Older As A Guy Who’s Not Yet Successful?
I just don’t think I could provide for a woman at this point in time. I’m also fast approaching my 30s, and that means the women aren’t getting any younger. So they’ll wanna have kids as well, but I honestly don’t think that right now I will be able to provide for a child without being extremely stressed.
So that’s a total bunch of bullshit to be honest. Look, you’re 27 right now, and you’re thinking like women wanna have kids already with you. So first of all, they don’t even know you yet. Yes, the older the women get, they want to have children, of course. But you’re 27. Guess what? You can be 40, you can be in your 45 years old, and you can still date a woman in her 20s. So you’re still really far away from the age of roughly 30, 32, 33, 34, where women are going to freak out. So dude, you could date, you’re 27. You could easily date a woman who’s 20 years old, and it wouldn’t matter. And do you think a woman who’s 20 years old wants to have children right now? Even a woman who’s 25, 26, 27, she might still wanna work on her career. She’s probably not thinking about having children right now. And even if she knows she wants to have children in the next, let’s say, three years, let’s say even if you date a woman who’s 27 your age, and she knows, okay, it’s about time, I wanna have children soon, she’s thinking, okay, I can’t expect this guy to have children with me in the next year.
And you gotta build up to something, and then by the time that I’m 30, we’re gonna have children. And like I said, you can date young women way longer than you think. So you’re definitely overreacting right now, so keep that in mind, dude. I think that comparison that you’re doing with these 30-year-old, 40-year-old guys is just a bit too extreme. I get it, older men are always going to look like competition to you, but you’d be surprised how many guys, how many people, in general, are in their 30s, in their 40s, maybe even their 50s, and they don’t have their shit together. I mean, let’s be real. We all never have our shit together. No matter how old you are, shit happens in our lives. And it’s not like we are all monks who have figured out everything, except for, what’s his name? Jay Shetty, who is a total fucking liar.
So that guy is a perfect example, actually. He’s been a total fucking scammer, and everybody fucking adored him. Everybody thought that he’s fucking amazing. But the reality is that he’s a fucking scammer and liar, and dude, don’t compare yourself with anybody but yourself, all right? It’s so important. And if you think that you couldn’t provide for a child right now because it would really stress you, that’s fine, but like I said, you don’t have to right now. You’re 27, you’re thinking way ahead right now. Alright, so let’s see what he continues saying.
Why Aren’t Females Attracted To Me: How To Develop An Attractive Personality Outside Of Work
Overall, I just don’t think that my dating prospects are that great right now, so I wonder, what am I supposed to do? I’m working hard and hustling like crazy to make it big with my side hustle. But so far, it hasn’t manifested itself in meeting any great women. I only have the occasional dates through dating apps, but it’s relatively rare. I’ve been single for over two years now, and no woman has shown up that actively pursued me. I always have to do the chasing, which makes me think that I am right about currently not offering what a woman wants and needs. I would say that I’m a confident guy who lives out of his comfort zone, and you’d think that this is attractive to women, but it seems it’s not. Any advice from me on what’s holding me back? Thanks, Mark.
The thing that’s holding you back, the only thing really that’s holding you back, is you yourself. Look, if you’ve been single for two years and you’ve been hustling all this time, I don’t know, either you’re doing the hustling wrong, are you actually making progress with this or not? Are you bullshitting yourself that you’re actually going in the right direction? I’m not questioning your vision, whatever your side hustle is and what you’re focused on, that might be fine, but are you doing it in the right way? Because if you’ve been hustling for two years, have you made enough progress actually, because you don’t feel confident right now despite all of this hustling and you haven’t been dating? So I would seriously question if you’re going in the right direction or if you have the right approach.
One thing that I can tell for sure is, if you haven’t been properly dating a woman for two years, that might be a reason as well. Look, you know what? Being with a woman can actually really help you as a man because it is so important to have someone to reflect on your mistakes, being able to figure out, okay, how can I make progress? And it’s really lonely if you try to get all of this done by yourself. While I encourage all of you to be kings, to unleash the king within, to make sure that you’re amazing, you can’t just wait until you’re 40, until you achieved all your goals and then you start dating. You’re gonna miss out on so many things. And the reality is, if you have a woman by your side, you can probably achieve more because I think you probably have a problem with time management. Because if you’ve been single for two years and you still haven’t achieved what you want, that is a bit of a red flag because, I mean, dude, you basically have no deadlines. It’s like you just keep on hustling and hustling and hustling and hoping, at some point it’s gonna work out. And then when you finally achieved it, then you’re gonna date.
But guess what? If you have a woman, who by the way, is also going to help you with your aspirations, you’re gonna have a deadline because now you have to make time for her as well. So that way, you’re gonna work smarter, not harder. So I think a big problem of yours is that you’re not giving yourself enough credit and you’re not focused enough on dating. You’re only focused on your hustle. And so I’m sure a lot of women can tell that you don’t feel confident about yourself. And I feel like you don’t think that your hustle is basically doing the right thing. You think that you haven’t figured it out yet. You feel like it’s not there yet. But that’s the wrong approach. You should feel excited about, look, I’m working on this thing. When you go on a date with a woman, she should be excited about that. She should feel like, “Wow, this guy has aspirations and I can see it. In three years from now, in five years from now, this guy is gonna be popular. This guy is gonna have a great business. People will appreciate his work.”
But are you actually giving off that vibe? Or are you giving off that vibe of “I don’t think that I’m good enough. I think I’m struggling with my business.” Maybe you’re even telling them how you’re struggling so much. And it sounds kind of needy, kind of insecure. And they can tell that you don’t feel confident in your own skin. So I think that is your problem. I have a feeling that you are your own worst enemy. I would suggest to you, you should probably redefine how are you hustling right now. What about your personal life? Is it falling short? It sounds to me that it might be falling short a little. So I think you need to make some time for dating as well and stop hustling all the time because maybe you’re one of these people who, you’re always looking at your metrics. You’re always looking at how much money did I make with my side hustle? Or how many clients did I get with this? And if you’re always looking at these numbers and constantly telling yourself, it’s not good enough, it’s not good enough, then you’re never gonna feel good enough for a woman.
No matter how much you would improve with your side hustle, I’m telling you, you will still compare yourself with those 30-year-old guys, with those 40-year-old guys who might not have their shit together more than you, but because you’re comparing yourself so much with what you think is not good enough, that’s the reason why women think that you’re not good enough because they can tell that you have a problem with your own inner self-confidence. It’s not your outer game or the fact that you don’t have ambitions, it’s the fact that you lack inner game. So that is what I think is your problem. That’s my advice for you. Let me know in the comments what you think about this, give me a thumbs up, subscribe to the channel and never forget to unleash the king within.
