Watch the subtitled video above if you prefer to listen to my advice.
In today’s video we’re gonna talk about seduction, how to actually get a woman to go home with you, how to make a move on a woman if you meet a woman at a bar or at a party or wherever, how do you actually get her to go home with you and obviously have sex. So it’s not really that complicated actually, in my opinion, it’s not rocket science, but I think a lot of guys make it too complicated. The reality is that a lot of guys just don’t realize that they’ve actually made enough progress with a woman to take her home and it’s all about just having the balls, the confidence to actually take her home with you. So let’s get into the situation with a guy, it’s a very short message and he’s just not really sure how do I actually take women home with me. So let’s see what does he say.
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Hey coach, here’s to hoping that you’ll make a video about this. Fingers crossed. I need your advice about how to be confident with girls when I am hanging out with them. I am cursed with way too many thoughts running through my brain whenever I am with a girl. I am too shy to seduce girls or not even just that. I sometimes get to hang out with some girls and despite the fact that we’re spending hours or an entire evening together, I just don’t know how to make my move. I know it’s the guys who make moves, but how do you actually do that?
Well before we get into that, actually it seems to me that you are not having problems with talking to women because if you’re able to talk to a woman an entire night, that tells me that you actually know how to talk to women. The problem is not that you don’t know how to talk to women, the problem is that you don’t know how to talk to them to actually escalate. So you first made it sound like you have confidence issues, but that’s not 100% true.
You actually have seduction issues, which is a difference. So the fact that you can actually have some good conversations with women and actually can be at a party and talk with her for multiple hours or whatever long you’re talking to her, that’s actually a good thing. That means 50% of the job is already done and now you just gotta do the other 50%. So let’s get further into your message and I’ll tell you what is the problem. How do you actually make moves?
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I mean there’s always a chance of being rejected and it’s like binary, 0 or 1. Either she rejects you and then it’s awkward or she doesn’t, in which case it’s great obviously. I’m pretty much stuck with 0, lol.
No, actually you’re not stuck with 0. So this is a really bad misconception that there is only 0 and 1 with women. Like binary? No. You’re not code. You’re doing it like a coder or like whatever, a programmer, 0s and 1s, but that’s not how this works. So you’re already talking to them. So that means they have some attraction. Of course, it’s 0 or 1. Like 0 there’s no dick in a pussy and 1 there’s a dick in a pussy. So clearly either you seduce a woman or you don’t seduce a woman. But it’s not like there’s only 0, no sex with a woman and 1 sex with a woman. There are actually steps in between. You don’t just go from no sex to sex in an instant. That’s not how it works. You actually have to build this up. So I was thinking about an analogy.
I have this huge softbox here, a really huge light. I have another really huge light over here and I can dim them. I can turn them from 0 slowly to more and more and more. And of course the higher the better. And it’s the same way with women. So you gotta start with 0 and you build up to 1. So you go from 0 to 0.1. If the woman is not very attracted to you, maybe she’s unsure, she might start out at 0.3, then you build it up to 0.4, 0.5. At some point she gets really horny, she gets really attracted to you, she really likes talking to you and she’s touching you more. Now she says 0.7, then you take her home. Now she says 0.9 and then you go to 1 and she’s going crazy for you. So it’s not like you just flick a finger and all of a sudden the woman wants you to bang her. That’s not how this works. You gotta build it up slowly. Women need comfort and they need their time to feel comfortable with you. And it sounds to me that they’re already comfortable with you, the problem is not that. The problem is that you’re not making a move. But first, let’s see what you say.
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I’m pretty much stuck with 0 lol. Not because of rejection though, but rather because I lack the confidence to make out. It’s so frustrating to go home alone when you were hoping to get some action, but getting action is damn hard with all the male competition. Usually, it’s other guys who walk home with their girls, definitely not me.
Ah, that’s completely wrong. You don’t have any competition. If you’re already talking to women for let’s say an hour, two hours, three hours, all night long, then the only competition that you have is yourself. And if you’re not taking any action, that is not the fault of some other men. Yeah, sure, if you don’t take action, eventually, the woman will walk over to a man who actually will take action. Because she wants to be seduced. If a woman is in the mood, if the woman actually likes a man, she will open herself up. She will open up her legs for that man who makes a move.
But if you don’t make any moves, well, yeah, then the male competition will win. But if the woman is into you, if she’s talking to you, that means in that moment you don’t have competition. Because in that instance, she’s just focused on you. She’s not focused on another guy and she’s hoping that you’re going to seduce her. So that is your problem. You’re not making the move. So I’m going to explain in a moment how to make the move, but first let’s see what you have to say.
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What’s the secret to actually getting a girl to be willing to go home with you? It feels very awkward to just ask a girl outright and like I said, there’s nothing worse than getting rejected by a girl. It’s disheartening that the barrier to entry for dating success is so high.
Nope, the barrier of entry for dating success is only as high as you make it. Obviously, dating a woman who’s a model is a little bit harder because she’s going to have higher standards. If the woman is not that hot, then the barrier of entry is definitely lower. So I’m not letting you off the hook that easily. I think you’re making an excuse for yourself. Because look, if you can’t have a model, you can probably have another woman who’s not that hot and if she’s really into you, she wants to be seduced by you. And the thing is, if you don’t make a move, how can she even reject you? You say that it’s really disheartening to being rejected by a girl, but it sounds to me that you barely actually try to get to make a move on a woman and see if she’s going to reject you.
And the thing is, in a proper scenario, you wouldn’t ask a woman to, “Hey, let’s go to my place and let’s hook up.” I mean, sometimes you could kind of allude to that with a woman who’s very open-minded and she knows what’s going on, but typically that’s not how it goes. You just go from one place to another, you’re having a good time, you’re touching each other, you’re making out, and then you hop from this part to this part and then this part and this part and then you just say, “Let’s go home.” At some point, you just want to be like, “Okay, it’s way too late. We got to go somewhere. Let’s go to my place.” And it’s not like you have to make a formal application to, “I would like you to take you home with me.” It’s not like you’re applying for a job. You’re just comfortable, she’s comfortable with you, and at some point, it fluidly, slowly goes to your place. And this is actually where your problem is. I’ll talk about this in a moment. First, let’s finish your message.
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I wish there would be a way to just slowly ease into it, but that kind of never works, whether it’s at a party or on a Tinder date. So how do I shoot my shot? What can I do to get better at this? Thanks.
Well, that’s actually the answer. How can you ease into this? That’s the problem. You are not easing into it, or rather, you’re stuck at easing into it. So you’re talking to women, you’re talking to them for the entire night maybe or for a few hours, and you’re just talking and talking and talking and talking. Don’t get me wrong, talking is great. A woman, of course, wants to feel comfortable around you, and if you’re charming, if she finds you funny, if she vibes very well with you, if she has the same interests, if she finds you inspiring, and so on, she wants to get to know you. But the thing is, are you actually touching her? Are you actually turning her on physically?
As I said, it’s not just zero and ones. 0.3 might be that you are touching her a little bit here and there. Whether you’re touching her leg or whether you’re touching her shoulder or whether you’re giving her a hug or whether you’re sitting close to her, that might be 0.3. Maybe 0.4 is that you’re on the dance floor and you’re dancing really closely face to face and you’re just looking at each other’s eyes. Then maybe 0.5 is you’re almost kissing her. You’re so close to her, but it’s not there yet. But then after a while, after dancing for a while, it’s 0.6. Now you’re kissing, you’re making out, and then she’s really comfortable and you’re slowly building up, you’re easing into this. But what you’re doing is you’re getting stuck at 0.2, 0.3, something like that. You’re getting stuck in that moment where you only talk.
And like I said, that’s really important, but you also gotta take it further. And you don’t have to go to one right away. You have to ease it into what feels comfortable for her. So if she’s comfortable, for example, making out right away, that’s fine, but not every woman is going to be like that. Another woman might be fine to just dance with you really intimately. Another woman might not even be fine with that. Depending on how conservative that she is, maybe she just wants to touch you a little bit and that’s it. It really depends on the woman. And you gotta gauge what is she like? Is she very open-minded? How much is she also into you? Depending on how much she’s into you, she’s going to show to you what’s okay for her. And that is the key to seduction.
You have to see what’s okay for her. That’s basically her barrier at this point in time. She’s not really ready yet for sex. She’s not ready for one. She’s ready for 0.4 or she’s ready for 0.5. So now you gotta push that barrier. You have to see, okay, she’s ready to dance really closely with me, look in my eyes, but she’s not ready to kiss me yet. So you then gotta push forward slowly, gently. She has to like that. It doesn’t have to feel forced. It shouldn’t feel forced to her. And she’s going to let go. She’s going to let you into her world. And the higher you get with this, 0.5, 0.6, 0.7, 0.8, she slowly lets go more and more to the point where she’s not even fighting it anymore because she feels so comfortable around you that she just freaking wants it. Instead of holding back, now she’s pushing for it. That is how great seduction works. The best times of my life, when I had sex with women, was when they literally begged me to fuck them. When they literally suggested it…
Like girls asking me to massage them and you know like, what is going on? You’re like, “Are you not wearing a bra and you’re trying, you want me to massage all your body?” Like, huh? And then, you know what’s going on when a woman suggests something like this. If she, for example, suggested you go ahead and touch her in very intimate ways, you know what’s going on. And that is the best way to seduce a woman. You gotta build her up to that point where she just wants it so badly that she almost encourages you to do it. And then it’s so easy because then taking her home, you don’t even have to ask for it. She just knows what’s going to happen. And that’s how you gotta do it. So don’t ask her. Don’t wait for that. When is the right moment when I ask her, hey, let’s go home? You don’t even ask. You take actions.
One micro action, another micro action, the next micro action until you reach that level where she’s at an 0.8, where at this stage, you can definitely seduce her unless you completely fuck it up. You basically can almost do nothing wrong. But for that, you gotta move forward. You gotta stop talking. Talking is great, but when you’re talking, now you gotta touch her while you’re talking. You gotta get closer to her while you’re talking. You gotta kiss her while you’re talking and build it up over time. Build anticipation until she gets so horny that she doesn’t even want to be at the party anymore. She wants to be alone with you somewhere.
Even if she doesn’t want to get laid yet, she wants to be in another corner where there’s not so many people or she wants to be alone. I used to, or I live a lot by the beach. So taking a girl to the beach from a party is great because you know what’s going to happen. You’re going to make out. So something like that. A place where she can be alone with you, where she can open up to be intimate, where nobody’s judging her, where nobody’s looking at her, and she can just be alone with you and enjoy your presence. So that’s how seduction works. I hope that was helpful for you. Let me know in the comments what you think. Give me a thumbs up, subscribe to the channel, and never forget to unleash the king within.