Watch the subtitled video above if you prefer to listen to my advice.
In today’s video, we’re going to talk about infidelity, healing from a unfaithful woman, and also the fact that we sometimes need to accept that, sometimes you can’t make sense of a woman who cheats. Sometimes, unfaithfulness, cheating, infidelity, it can be forgiven if the person feels bad about it. But some people are just bad people. Some women are just bad women. And trying to make sense of it will never work because either a person cheats and they actually feel bad about what they’re doing, or they cheat and they couldn’t care less. They are extremely selfish, they have no remorse, they only care about themselves and their own happiness, and they don’t care how far they push it.
And if your woman was like that, you will never be able to make sense of this because some people, like I said, are just awful human beings. And in that case, it’s just important to recognize that this woman was not right for you and it’s good that, yeah, you can’t figure out what’s going on with them. You can’t figure out what’s going on with them or why they did what they did because they are just so broken as people. And you just gotta move on and accept that essentially she belongs to the streets. So let’s see what I have to say about a situation of a guy who is kind of in a situation like this. He has been cheated on in pretty awful way and he’s trying to figure out, well, he’s trying to cope with his feelings or grapple with his feelings because he still loves her. But of course, he kind of feels stupid because he knows that he should just stop thinking about her. He should just forget her, but he can’t because he still loves her. He has feelings for her, but she broke his trust in awful ways. So let’s see what is my advice based on the situation.
When you Think she is Cheating: If your Girlfriend Acts Suspicious, she’s usually Looking at Other Men
Hey, Coach, it’s been a while since I found out that my ex-girlfriend cheated on me. It wasn’t something she told me. I found out by accident. I never saw it coming. We were together for almost two years. We lived together in a small two bedroom apartment and I thought everything was going well and I really believed we would have a family in the future and maybe even get married. But then I found out that she had been seeing someone else behind my back. It all started when I noticed her being distant and weird around her phone.
I thought it was nothing at first, but then I started to get suspicious. So one night when she was sleeping, I checked her phone. And there it was, messages between her and this other guy. They were talking about how much they missed each other and how they couldn’t wait to see each other again. The guy said that he wanted to go to a parking garage after work, implying that he wanted to fuck her in the car. My heart was pumping like crazy and I didn’t know how to react. I was insanely angry, but I didn’t wake her up. I stayed up the whole night and my mind was racing with all kinds of thoughts.
So first of all, the fact that you could already feel something was off. This has been going on for a while. She has basically been mistreating me for quite some time. She put you in this situation where you feel awful, where you can tell she’s very distant and she’s not… Something’s weird. She’s hiding something from me. So that’s number one. Now, the second thing that I wanna point out here is, she’s not doing this lightheartedly. It’s not just a one-time thing by accident, I guess you could say, maybe randomly kissing a guy and then something happened. No, she’s talking to this guy. She says she misses him. She wants it. They’re making plans to fuck. So she’s an awful woman and you should accept that. You’re probably trying to make sense of this, trying to figure out why did she do this to me. But just look at that behavior. That’s awful. She’s an awful woman.
And look, she’s probably gonna try to apologize for that. Maybe she tried apologizing for that. But dude, man, this is very, very bad behavior. I’m not saying that there’s absolutely no way how you couldn’t forgive this or how this couldn’t be reconciled. But she was pretty deep in there. And yeah, I mean, he was also very deep in her. So I know that’s maybe a bad pun, but it basically shows you that you should not be with this woman because she just took it way too far. She just took it way, way, way too far. And she didn’t care. Like she had no remorse. She was literally texting the guy and probably enjoying it, right? So her behavior is just awful. Let’s continue what you say.
When she Breaks your Heart: When your Ex Cheated On you Don’t Accept an Apology Immediately
I confronted her about it the next morning and she tried to deny it at first. Then she admitted to cheating on me with this other guy and I found out that it had been going on for almost three months. I was so angry! I barely held myself together. This was the first time ever that I felt like I wanted to hurt a woman. I was so furious and looking back, it’s a miracle that I did not lose control. She tried to apologize, begged a lot and said it was a mistake and that she still loved me and it wouldn’t happen again, but I just saw red.
Rightfully so, and you did the right thing. I mean, dude, the fact that you actually had the composure and the self-control to not hurt her when you felt like just absolutely furious. I gotta give you respect for that because, some guys hurt women with much smaller offenses. And so considering what she did and you held together, kudos to you. That shows me that you are a man who deserves a woman who really appreciates him because even when she does the worst of the worst of the worst things that a woman could possibly do to her man, you’re still saying, “Well, I’m not happy about this. I’m really furious,” but you’re trying to distance yourself to make sure you don’t do anything that you will regret in the future. So you are a man of self-control. She is clearly not a woman of self-control. And she was very impulsively talking some guy when she wasn’t happy, not impulsively, but maybe it started impulsively.
Basically, instead of taking control of her emotions and saying to you, going to you, “Hey, this is how I feel, I’m not happy, and I’m not sure about this relationship anymore, but I’m starting to pay attention to other guys.” Maybe she’s not saying it like that, but basically she knows that she’s no longer feeling happy in your presence. That’s what a mature woman would do. A woman with self-control would do something like this. Same, a man with self-control would do something like this as well. And I believe you would be doing something like this. If you would feel unhappy, I bet you would tell her that, or you would break it off or something like that, but you probably wouldn’t be cheating. So ask yourself, would you have done something like this in her shoes? Probably not, considering how much self-control you have. I think you’re not carved out of the same stone, or the same wood, whatever you wanna call it. So think about that hard because you’re not the same kind of people, I believe. Anyway, let’s continue.
I was so angry when she said that she loved me in the same breath, that she admitted that she cheated on me. What the fuck? How could someone cheat on someone they claim to love? It made me question everything about our relationship. I left our place and stayed with a friend for two days. On the second day at my friend’s place, I even briefly thought about trying to work things out, but I couldn’t bring myself to try to do it at first. On the second day at my friend’s place, I even briefly thought about trying to work things out, but I couldn’t bring myself to try and do it at first. She completely broke my trust. But then after two weeks, we tried to work things out. She was very persistent, but the trust was broken. I was always suspicious of her, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that she was still talking to this other guy behind my back. Eventually, I realized that I couldn’t be with someone who had betrayed me like that, and I decided to break up again for good.
Good, that was the right call.
Get Over a Cheating Ex Girlfriend: If she Cheated, she Belongs to the Streets & you Deserve a Better Woman
It’s been a few weeks now since the second breakup, and I’m still struggling to get over it. Even though I know it was the right decision, it still hurts like hell. Part of me still loves her, but I don’t know how to reconcile that with what she did. I’m trying to move on and focus on myself, but it’s not easy. Every time I think about her with someone else, it feels like a knife in my heart. It’s fucking me up mentally that I still feel like a part of me has been ripped away. She treated me like trash and I still love her anyways. I don’t know what I should do now. I know I should forget her, but I just can’t, and even now, a part of me still wants to forgive her and try to make things work. It’s like I’m stuck in this limbo, and I don’t know how to move forward.
Well, I do believe that you’re probably being a little bit too hard on yourself. It’s completely normal that it feels like something has been ripped out of you because not only did you lose her essentially overnight, it’s worse than a woman breaking up with you, actually, I suppose you could say, because not only did you see that she doesn’t love you anymore, but she went out of her way to disrespect you, to lie to you, and to hurt you. That’s much, much worse. So, dude, you gotta give it some time. I know it’s really tough right now, and you’re trying to figure out how could she do something like this, right? You’re saying, how could she say “she loves me, and please, it’s not gonna happen again,” and in the same breath where she cheated on you. Man, come on, what the fuck? It’s bullshit. She does not love you properly. She basically was complacent. She thought that, she doesn’t have to do any work anymore in the relationship, and that is not love. When you love a person, you will work for that love, because you’re not always going to be happy in a relationship. Sometimes it will be absolutely motherfucking tough, and that’s what real love is. That’s what marriage is, right? In a marriage, you can’t just run away whenever you see fit.
When you’re not happy, you try to work things out. You talk to your partner. You talk to your woman, and your woman will talk to you. You don’t just do something disrespectful. Don’t just go party. Don’t just fuck someone else. Don’t just leave the house. You don’t just abandon them or anything like that. You say, this person is worth it to me, and I will fight for it, and I’m not just gonna throw in the towel and say, “This person isn’t making happy, I’m outta here!” What a healthy, loving person will do is say, okay, I’m not really liking this, let me talk to my partner. And you will try to keep on working this, on this as long as you possibly can. Some people can never work it out, that’s fine, but at least you’ve shown your love, and you tried to make it work. That’s how relationships should be like. She’s not like that. She just basically took the easy way out, and so that’s not love, man. Basically, loving or choosing to love whichever person is currently convenient or easy, that’s not love. That’s infatuation, laziness, that is just being an awful person. That’s maybe what you do when you’re young, maybe early 20s, when you’re inexperienced, you might do something stupid like that once, hopefully not too bad, but in general, people just don’t do something like this. Good, decent people choose to commit to their partners. And so she didn’t choose to commit to you properly, so don’t feel so bad, don’t try to make so much sense of it. She’s just not a good woman, and that’s just all there is to it.
Healing from Cheating: The Secret to Surviving Infidelity is Recognizing her Behavior was her Choice
No matter what I do, I constantly have to think about her and what she did and why she did it. I try to keep busy at the gym, but no matter what I do, she’s always on my mind. I even still check her social media sporadically to see if she’s with the other guy already. I don’t know what I should do. I have never felt so lost and betrayed. I can’t make sense of anything that’s going on. I want to just move on from this, but I can’t stop myself from thinking about her and what she did. Everywhere I go, I imagine that it’s her that I’m seeing. I need your advice how I can move on from this pain and stop thinking about her. I thought everything we had was perfect, and I don’t know how I should move forward now and find something like this ever again with another girl. I had my future mapped out with her, and now that was completely destroyed. I don’t know if I could trust anyone ever again to have that kind of relationship. I’m fucked up and I need your advice. Thanks a lot, coach. Kind regards, Theo.
Look, first of all, it’s normal to have her on your mind or imagine that you can see her somewhere or something like that. Okay, first of all, you need to stop checking her social media, and the fact that you are still worried about this other guy or she is with this guy, make yourself clear, painfully clear about what kind of an awful woman she is. You should feel like, in quotes, “Good, this guy can have her,” or some other guy can have her. Now, I don’t wish any other guy to be with her, to be honest, at least, not an awful guy. If a decent guy is with her, I feel really sorry for that guy. But you should say, “Look, she can have this guy that she cheated on with me. Whatever, I’m rid of her.” And for that to happen, you need to make yourself aware of all the bad things. You said that you can’t imagine that you’re ever gonna find a woman like her again, and I assume you don’t mean the cheating part, obviously. You mean the fact that there was a connection, right? You feel like you can never find a woman that you feel is so great, where you felt so comfortable, where you saw a future, and you felt like, okay, this is it. In the Philippines, they say, “This is it, pancit.” You thought this is the woman to spend the rest of your life with, perhaps. But it turned out that she’s not that woman.
And in order to recognize that, what I suggest is, one of the problems about breakups is we always romanticize our partner. We think that she was so perfect, she had so many great qualities, and we never take stock of the negative things. I would suggest making a shit list. Make a list of only all the shit things about her. Forget the positive stuff, because I can guarantee you, yes, she probably has some positive things, but they don’t matter. Considering everything that she’s done, nope, it does not matter. Focus on the negative, because thereare actually studies about this. If you shit talk, or trash talk your ex, and make yourself clearly aware, write it down on pen and paper. Things that you didn’t like, the things that weren’t good about the relationship, how she mistreated you, disrespected you, didn’t appreciate you, didn’t choose to love you properly, that helps you with moving forward. It’s gonna be a magic bullet, a magic solution to just solve everything, but at least you will gain some clarity. You’re not gonna move on overnight, obviously, but that’s not the point. The point is that you need some starting point. It’s just simple. Let’s say, for example, if you never had a good job, never had a good salary, then you don’t have any perspective, right? You always think that this shit job that you had is good. But then when you finally have the good job, you see the old job where your boss didn’t treat you well, you had overtime work, didn’t pay you properly, sometimes they wouldn’t approve of your vacations or whatever, and so on and so forth, right? When you finally have the perspective, you recognize, oh wow, why did I stay in this job?
It’s the same thing with a woman. Write it down on pen and paper while she was not good for you. It will make it slightly easier to move forward. And the other thing that I wanna mention here is, are you ever going to find another girl like her, another woman like her? Yes, you will. Trust me, you will. Right now, you’re going through a lot of trauma. It’s going to take time to heal from this, but I can guarantee you, she belongs to the streets, a woman like her, she’s like the 5% of women. If you look at the value that a woman provides, a truly nurturing woman at 100%, your ex is at 5% of the value that a really great woman can provide. Perhaps I’m slightly over exaggerating here, but you can do so much better. And imagine if you could love a woman like this, who just respected you so much, imagine how much more you’re going to love a woman who would never think about doing something like this, ever. Think about that for a second, okay? Just imagine you could probably be five times happier. So I know you had your future mapped out with her, but imagine if you write a new map or if you draw a new map with a woman, who never has these capabilities. You can plan a much better future with that woman.
You can be more conscious, you can communicate more consciously, you can make more effort to love each other, because she clearly did not make an effort to love you consciously. Maybe you also didn’t do that, but now you know that at the very least, you would never cheat on someone consciously. So for the next relationship or the next relationships, you’re going to be very self-aware about yourself and your partner. So you can now draw a new map, a future map of the woman that you want to be with in the future. You might not meet her anytime soon, but it’s a great idea to start about this. So write down the negative things about your ex, then look, take all of these negative things and turn them into positives. That’s your dream woman, right? What are the things that you don’t want your dream woman to do? That’s not going to solve all your problems, but it might help you to recognize that there are good women out there. It’s gonna take some time.
Don’t try to make sense of what she did. She is just an awful woman who doesn’t love you. And you will probably always hurt a little bit from this. And you will probably never get 100% closure, because how could you make sense of something like this? She just lacks integrity. That’s all there is to it. Some people, men and women lack integrity, and they will never get that integrity. You can try to figure out or try to wait for that day to happen where your woman finally develops integrity, but that day might never come in a scenario like this. And I think with that one particularly, it probably won’t come. So you should be lucky, happy to be free. This woman is awful, and it would have been incredibly miserable in the longterm. So I know right now it hurts, but it’s going to get better. So that’s my advice to you. Definitely write down all the negative stuff about her. All right, that’s my advice. Let me know in the comments what you think. Give me a thumbs up, subscribe to the channel, and never forget to unleash the king within.
