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Is It A Rebound Or Pre-Planned? Do You Really Want Her Back?!

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Watch the subtitled video above if you prefer to listen to my advice.

In today’s video we’re gonna talk about rebounds and trying to figure out, well, is this really a rebound? Should you actually get back with your ex? Because sometimes your ex is really just moving on really fast, almost too fast and it’s kind of strange because typically after a breakup we can’t move on that fast. We have to grieve the process, we have to grieve all these emotions. If you’ve spent multiple years together then you can’t just move on to another guy or to another woman right away. That’s just not how relationships work, that’s not how our emotions work. Some people might be able to do this as a rebound because they’re trying to avoid that grieving process but you got to figure out is this really a rebound?

Because you know it depends on how fast it happened really and if it happens super fast then probably that person is just a replacement. Most likely that person was already in the picture, that guy has been probably flirting with your ex for a while and so sometimes you got to be real with yourself and figure out do I actually want her back yes or no. So I have a situation that’s similar to this today, I got to make it a little bit of a short video today because I have a coaching session in 30 minutes so I got to wrap it up really fast. So let’s get right into it.

You Didn’t Even Beg Her To Stay: When She Is Already Dating Someone Else — She Moved On Fast

Hello coach, thank you if you make this into a video. I want to ask you about my ex-girlfriend who’s in a rebound relationship right now. Her name is Ashley. Ashley and I broke up one and a half months ago and of course I’ve been doing no contact since then. I’ll proudly say that I did no contact right from the start, no desperation or begging aside from trying to keep us together obviously.

Good, so you basically did everything right. He told her “Hey, I don’t want this breakup. I love you. Let’s figure this out. Let’s try to make this work” and then once that didn’t work he basically said “Okay fine, I can change your mind” and he let her go and he didn’t beg. That’s the best-case scenario of how you have a breakup. Obviously, anyone who’s doing this and who has been doing this that’s a good thing but of course, a lot of you probably are coming to this channel because you exactly didn’t do that. You probably came to this channel because you already knew you screwed up a lot and you want her back and you know that it’s so bad and nothing is working so you probably begged like crazy.

You’re trying to figure okay what can I do? Now for anyone who has been begging don’t worry just give it some time. Now in your case because you haven’t been begging that basically makes it very very easy to get your ex back if she wants you back. Essentially you didn’t prolong the process for her to realize that you’re actually an awesome dude so she’s going to miss you much much faster. If you would have been begging a long time then of course it could take much much longer.

So now she’s in a rebound. Well I don’t think it’s a rebound let’s see where it goes but she’s in a rebound. If she were in a real rebound she would relatively quickly miss you and realize that you’re disappearing and that maybe you’re moving on because if a girl dumps you because she doesn’t want you anymore for whatever reasons. sometimes you screwed up sometimes she didn’t screw up at all and if she didn’t realize you’re disappearing she might think “oh my god maybe he’s gonna find someone else” because he realized okay I don’t want him anymore and so he started to date someone else that’s scary for some women.

And of course, it depends on your situation and on the ex and how she broke up. So if she is the one who screwed up in a way because she just fell out of love and that’s it but he didn’t really do much wrong he just probably didn’t know how to keep the passion flowing then she’s going to miss you a lot. So anyway so far you’ve been doing everything quite well so let’s see where it goes.

How Can She Move On So Easily: I Thought She Needed To Find Herself?! Was It Rebound Cheating?

The reason why she broke up with me was that she said that she had to find herself & she doesn’t really know what she needs right now but that she can’t feel like she can do it while she’s in a relationship.

No, she knows exactly what she’s looking for and this is a video about rebound so it’s kind of obvious if she needs to find herself and she knows that she can’t find it within the. relationship why? What does that actually mean? Are you putting some shackles on her? Are you telling. her don’t pursue that job? Are you telling her you can’t go back to college? Are you telling her you can’t take your master’s? Are you telling her you can’t be with those friends?

If you’re not telling her specifically what she can do then that’s really just bullshit and really what she’s telling you is she wants to do something completely new, which most likely has to do with guys, because like I said, if you’re not putting any boundaries on her, if you’re not really putting her into this tiny box, some guys do that, but if you’re not putting her into a box… Then why would she need to find herself without you? She could just tell you “Look I’m not happy with my life right now. Something doesn’t feel right.

Maybe she’s not happy with her job for example and then she would talk to you and she would try to figure out “Look I want to make a career shift,” for example, and she’s gonna talk to you. And you know she’s gonna need your support. She’s gonna want to figure out “hey are you going to help us pay the bills while I’m trying to make the shift? Because I’m gonna earn less…” Something like that. She’s gonna talk to you because she trusts you and because she’s enough of you. But clearly, she is not in love with you anymore. And it’s probably not about finding herself. It’s about finding herself without you. And most likely, finding another guy, which is why it’s a rebound relationship.

Finding Out She Rebounded: Ex Girlfriend Dating Someone Else Right After A Breakup. How Could She?

Not much I could do there it’s not like I own her so I couldn’t tell her what’s right for her so we left it like that and went our own separate ways. I was doing okay with no contact until last week when I found out that she’s already dating someone new.

That always stings like a motherfucker, but don’t make it about you. Even if she finds some other guy and even if that might be something serious in the future, or even if it’s just a rebound… The bottom line is it doesn’t affect you. iI has nothing to do with you. It has to do with her and what she needs and what she wants. And whether these needs are pure of heart or if they’re kind of messed up, it doesn’t really matter, man.

What matters is you. And what matters is that you remind yourself that you are a king. And when a woman finds another guy really fast, it has nothing to do with you. You keep doing your own stuff. Keep focusing on yourself and I know it feels like “is there something wrong with me? Is the other guy better? How could she find some other guys so fast?!“… Let’s say you’ve been in a relationship for three years and then she moves on to a new guy after a month… Holy shit that is painful! And actually, we’re gonna get into this, I think a rebound after a month is pretty fast, so let’s see.

Is It A Rebound Relationship: Her Rebound Is An Old Friend — Aka A Male Orbiter

She’s having a rebound with a guy that she’s been friends with for a long time. I actually met the guy once at a party with friends. So I kind of know him. He’s relatively attractive, I’d say, and ever since I found out that she’s dating him, I can’t stop thinking about her. And I’ve gone from only thinking about her occasionally to thinking about her non-stop and feeling really impulsive.

So let’s have a reality check here: She’s dating some guy after a breakup with some dude that you knew. And she’s he’s fairly attractive. So he’s basically been an orbiter. He’s been waiting to make his move. Maybe he has been flirting with her all along. Most likely she probably liked it and eventually, she got her chance and she decided “I’m gonna leave you and this guy is giving me some attention that I probably want.“… That she probably wanted. And bam! She found a new guy. Well, that is a bit of a red flag. Ok, I can’t guarantee that this is the case but most of the time this would be the case if she knew the guy already.

I mean, come on! How often has it happened to you that you had a breakup and then right away after that you hooked up, or dated some friend of yours? Probably unlikely. Maybe an ex of yours, perhaps, but a friend of yours that you’ve been talking to for a long time and that you’ve known for the longest time? Then all of a sudden you’re dating right after a breakup?! That is a bit too convenient for my taste! And again, the important thing to remember is that it’s about you. It’s not about her! You’re a king. You should be happy even without her.

And you say that now all of a sudden because you heard about this rebound, it hurts. Understandably. And now you’re thinking about whether you should break no contact. Should you talk to her? And that is painful. Of course, you want to do that. Your heart is telling you “I gotta talk to her. I gotta figure out what is going on.” This is not going to serve you any purpose! What’s curious is that she broke up with you and that she didn’t want anything to do with you and now she’s dating another guy. So if you are becoming impulsive now, it’s not going to solve anything! So you gotta keep up no contact.

When Your Ex Starts Dating: Resist The Urge To Break No Contact With Your Ex-Girlfriend

I keep on thinking about breaking no contact and seeing how she’s doing, which I know is a bad idea, but it’s hard to not be emotional right now. I don’t know what this means. I didn’t expect her to be in a rebound relationship after just one and a half months, especially considering what her reason for breaking up was.

Exactly! One and a half months after a breakup to have a rebound is pretty quick! It’s possible, for sure, but for my taste it’s too soon. I had a really bad breakup a few years ago. How fast did I have a new girlfriend or dated a new girl? It probably took me like six months or something like that. And typically, when I talk to healthy people, they typically need their time. They need three months. Six months. I even met this girl once who still wasn’t over her ex after something like two years. That was too long! And that should not be you, for sure, but obviously, you should take your time after a breakup. And if she’s not taking her time, it’s kind of a red flag.

I actually have this very often with some of my clients that yeah, the girl just found another guy relatively conveniently, really quickly, often there’s something like a long-distance relationship, where it was very easy to just line up a replacement as well. That’s where it is very common and yeah, it’s a rebound. I don’t think it is a rebound because it’s only been one and a half months. And she already found a new guy. That’s just too fast dude! She clearly had this guy in the picture for a while and as you said, he has been a friend of yours or of both of you for a while. So she’s known this guy and she probably knew that he was into her. And so she was clearly mentally prepared to date this new guy. And so when she said “I have to find myself,” probably, it meant she already knew that she wants to find a new home with this guy. Basically, that’s what she really meant. But let’s see what you have to say.

When Your Ex Replaces You Quickly: It’s Painful But Do You Really Want Her Back? Find A Better Woman!

It sounded to me that she wanted to be alone for a while but it looks like she’s moved on super fast. I’m hurt, disappointed, and just in general, all over the place. Right now with my emotions the last week have been difficult. I stopped hitting the gym. Work is hard to focus on and I’ve become quite lazy. binging way too much Netflix. I lost my energy and hope that we can get back together again after giving her space. What’s your assessment of the situation? And what do you think about her rebound relationship? Should I be worried?

Should he be worried about the rebound guy? No, most likely not, but that’s not even the point. Well, you don’t have to be worried about this guy because even if this were rebound, well, the thing is she found a new guy really, really quickly. Too quickly for my taste. At least give it like two or three months. But she’s just jumping into this new guy really fast. Maybe she’s even been seeing this guy longer than 1 1/2 months. I don’t know. Maybe you just found out, maybe she’s been dating this guy for a month already. Maybe she started dating this guy after two weeks of you being broken up. So you don’t even know how bad this really is. But it already sounds pretty bad in general.

What that tells me is that she is relatively easy to replace a guy. So should he be worried about this guy? Probably not, because she can probably replace him the way that she replaced you. What you should rather be worried about is the fact that I do not think that this is a rebound relationship. I think that she’s been lining up your replacement. She has been preparing to find a new guy. She already had a new guy and basically, as soon as she was done with you, she had the new guy.

So I don’t know how long you’ve been together… Did you mention this earlier? But it’s just a no-go to me. Because ultimately, in a relationship, commitment matters. And I think it’s healthy even after a breakup to still want your ex back, or still have a slight level of commitment to her, even if maybe you’re never gonna get back together. It’s just important to hold yourself accountable to think “”Look I love this person,“” and you’re gonna let those feelings fade out over time and you’re not gonna just jump into the next relationship right away.

Because clearly, that person meant something to you and you were committed to her. How could you really be committed to this person when you can just find another woman like a week later, right? It doesn’t make sense. You need your time to let it go. To let go of the pain. To accept this is over. To accept “I’m going to let go of this commitment.”

There’s nothing worth holding on to her but until that point, you still have some commitment to her, at least with your emotions, you still care about her. At some point, you gotta detach from those emotions and say “whatever she’s not coming back, or even if she comes back, do I want her back?“… Of course, you gotta make this decision, at some point, but she doesn’t sound to me that she felt this way at all. She basically had a clear cut. She broke up with you and it sounds to me that maybe even before she broke up with you, she already said “This is the end of the relationship,“…

Face The Truth: Your Ex Chose That You Don’t Matter To Her But Another Woman Will Choose You!

You’re starting here and this is where the end is. She already cut you off somewhere in the middle, right, so the commitment was already gone before she even broke up with you. That doesn’t sound like it’s the kind of woman that you should be with. So you should ask yourself really clearly: Do you want to be back with her? And even if I give her the benefit of the doubt and this is really a rebound relationship, you gotta think twice, and she should also apologize. It’s just so important. It’s just important that she says “look I screwed up and I’m sorry that I found a new guy and I wasn’t thinking about this,” but you gotta be really careful with this.

You have to see from her a sign that she actually cares about you because if you can be replaced by another man that quickly, that is a red flag, because I don’t know how long you’ve been together in a relationship, but this could also happen again in the future! Imagine… It doesn’t sound like you had a lot of fights, right? So she wanted to find herself.. So you didn’t mention that there was a lot of drama or trouble in the relationship. So there must have been another problem, like just falling out of love. She probably didn’t feel cherished enough, clearly, and so she probably felt cherished by the other guy.

What if you would get back together in the future and maybe it’s not the issue with the passion but rather perhaps she is having too many fights, you are both having too many fights and things are kind of tough, maybe you’re stressed with work, or with your career, with your income, maybe with your mortgage, or debt, or whatever, and as soon as shit hits the fan in your relationship, in your family, in your house, is she gonna stick around? You want to be able to answer this question with a clear yes.

So my question to you is, to finish this video, are you able to say “Yes, I am sure that she’s going to stick around in tough times!

Whatever you maybe have done wrong now, that can be resolved. If you think you did something wrong. But answer this question clearly. Is she going to commit to you? That is so crucial. I am all for getting an ex back but I’m not an advocate of getting an ex back who is not committed to you! And of course, drawing that line is a bit difficult, but you gotta pay attention to the patterns. How often does she do something like this? Does she actually show you signs that she cares? Does she show you signs that she misses you? And then if she misses you, does she actually make up for all the damage that has been done?

That’s so important. So that’s how I’m gonna leave you today with my advice. I think you should just keep up no contact, even if there is a prospect of getting back together in the future, just don’t message her. Whatever the guy is doing with her doesn’t matter. If this is a rebound she’s gonna dump this guy probably relatively fast, because it’s just so impulsive and way too fast. It’s not gonna work out. I doubt it’s gonna work out.

So just give it some time. But you should also live your life. You said that you’ve been doing quite well until you found out about this guy and you’ve been hitting the gym and all this stuff. But now you’re feeling a little bit like you can’t do all your stuff anymore. You can’t focus anymore. You’re not on top of your game anymore. So get back to your game. Focus on yourself. Be a king. And I also encourage you go on dating apps, even if you just keep it relatively casual, or just meet some women.

You probably are not ready yet to be in a relationship but it doesn’t hurt to just meet a woman for fun, just to have some good conversations. A friend of mine actually broke up with an ex of his relatively recently. It’s probably been like two months or something like this. Well, she broke up with him and he’s currently dating, but he’s not actually hooking up. He’s not looking to actually have a serious date and a serious relationship. He’s just hanging out with some women and having good conversations, coffee dates, and that’s it.

He’s not even trying to bring them home and seduce them. He’s just having a good time. Feeling good about himself. That is okay. Maybe that will help you to feel a little bit better about yourself. Just the fact that you can tell “there are chicks who still love me or at least really are into me and want to get to know me“… That’s a good feeling! And maybe that will really help you and if that is not for you, at least stay focused on yourself! Do not think about “Should I message her?” or trying to figure out what is going on, or trying to confront her. That’s not really going to solve anything for you. So that is my advice to you. Let me know what you think in the comments below. Subscribe to the channel, give me a like, of course, and never forget to unleash the king within.

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Hi, I’m Andy Graziosi. I help men unleash their confidence and reach their fullest potential. My science-backed philosophy is: “The king is already a winner.” — Amazing women are already attracted to you. All a king has to do is use this attraction to his advantage.

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