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Watch the subtitled video above if you prefer to listen to my advice.
In today’s video we’re gonna talk about when an ex comes back and things are not as great as they seem. So maybe your ex is kind of crazy, maybe she’s a bit passive-aggressive, maybe she is very clingy and that could be a sign that you should not get back together because you’re just getting the same problems that you had in the past. Of course, it always depends on the situation, it’s dependent on the context. So anyway I have a message from a guy who broke up with an ex or they broke up together, they just weren’t happy basically and he missed her, he wanted her back but he didn’t chase her and well she came back eventually and let’s just see what she does and what happened between the two of them.
Emotional Ex Girlfriend: My Ex Came Back After No Contact But My Ex Girlfriend Is Going Crazy
Hey coach, have you ever had a client who wanted an ex back and she actually came back but when she came back she had a lot of crazy behavior?
Well, to answer that question, no, this is actually very rare. I don’t think I’ve ever had a client where the ex was batshit crazy or something like that. Maybe a little bit moody, a little bit upset, irritable because it’s kind of understandable because often she has been hurt, heartbroken, disappointed by the guy and so you know she is definitely confrontational, maybe she hasn’t forgiven the guy but crazy behavior not so much.
Messy Breakups With Women: What Did You Learn From Your Breakup And How Can You Do Better?
I broke up with my ex because of a relatively big and very angry fight about six months ago. This was a very, very messy breakup. Man, she nearly threw all my things out of the window, it was really bad lol. Anyway, I’m not one to be resentful. I understand that we both had our flaws and in the end we both kind of just fucked up, didn’t know how to treat each other right and in the end it led to the breakup. It was also a very important lesson for me about relationships and how things can go very wrong if you don’t pay attention in your relationship and make sure you steer it in the right direction. So despite all the shit ways how it ended I don’t regret the breakup.
Nice! Yeah, that’s the right way to break up. You should always use any opportunity when you have a breakup to really reflect and see where both of you actually failed. You, but also her, because it always takes two to tango, maybe you fucked up really badly, maybe she also fucked up really badly and you can learn from your mistakes. You can also learn from her mistakes because well, maybe your mistakes caused her mistakes, or vice versa. So there are so many good things to take away from relationships and instead of being so sad and wanting her back and not focusing on that reflection a lot of guys just chase, chase, chase, chase. And then they don’t improve. And so, for example, if you don’t figure out if you had a breakup and you both had flaws then you can’t get back together or you meet up. You gotta be able to talk about these issues. You gotta say to her “Hey you did this, I didn’t like this, this didn’t make me happy,” and likewise, you gotta be able to say look this is what I did, here’s how I fucked up and I should have done this somehow differently. That’s very important and he’s done it the right way. So he’s a good example for everybody who’s watching.
My Ex Slid Into My DMs: My Ex Girlfriend Hated Me But Now She Wants To Get Back Together
I eventually accepted that the relationship just wasn’t meant to be. I wasn’t one of those guys who wanted his ex back. Not that I didn’t love her and wish to be back with her but I guess I’m just the type of guy who chooses his battles and I was very tired after this relationship. I just wanted to take a rest and recover from all the heartbreak. So I didn’t chase her although I missed her a lot for sure. So anyway, guess who slid into my DMs a few weeks back? Santa Claus?! LOL, just kidding!
Now, I know of course who it is because you can clearly see that he has not been chasing. Instead of chasing and trying to win her back he just recognized “I need to rest. This was a little bit too much. It was very stressful. We both fucked up and I am kind of done with this right now. I just want to get over the heartbreak. I want to understand what didn’t work out,” and he probably took a lot of time for himself and Santa Claus is back! His ex is back, of course. Sliding into the DMs because I guess unknowingly he has been doing no contact just the right way. He didn’t even want her back and this is a really good thing to take away. This is why guys who don’t chase their ex or don’t want her back are more likely to get their ex back because he’s not focused on her. He wasn’t focused on her and so now she’s coming back because she can tell that he was done or at least he accepted it like a man. He moved forward. Even if you want an ex back you gotta move forward like a man, like a boss. Focus on yourself. Focus on your reflection. Focus on your growth. Focus on becoming happy again. Be content. Be that king. Unleash the king within. Then exes come back and we’re gonna see this now.
I Met My Ex Girlfriend: Went On A date With My Ex And I Slept With My Ex Girlfriend — Now What
My ex, of course. It was quite unexpected to hear from her and after such a long time! I kind of had forgotten all the bad blood between us and it was nice talking to her. We actually met up for a date and we even hooked up. Man, that sex was good. She literally let me do anything to her that night. Maybe a form of delayed breakup sex. Laughing my ass off!
Yeah, I’m sure she also forgot the bad blood because time passes. Then the Fading Effect Bias happens. Over time we forget the negative emotions. She forgets the negative emotions as well and all that’s left is the good times for the most part and you had some good breakup sex. Some good passion. So not bad. That’s perfect. That’s actually really good. So that’s how you gotta do it. Talk to her. Set up a date. Then you hook up and if things are right. If she’s the right woman for you then you probably already have her back or almost back. But here’s where it’s gonna go wrong. So let’s see what happens.
Passive Aggressive Ex Girlfriend: She’s Being Passive Aggressive After I Had Sex With Her
So overall this was not bad at all at first but I didn’t really want to commit to anything back then. I mean I didn’t really know where to take it. I just enjoyed talking to her and not having any drama but then things got seriously fucking weird and I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable. She started becoming very passive-aggressive and saying things like ‘Tim and Nina are such a cute couple I’m kind of jealous.’ Well, okay, that’s actually not passive-aggressive yet. Back then I thought she was hinting at wanting us to be a couple again. Which I wasn’t against but also not for because we literally just had reconnected a few days ago.
So yeah, she’s basically very emotional. She really cares about you and she must have had some expectations and she wants you back. So but hey, what can you do? You don’t want to rush anything. You don’t want to go back into the drama. So that’s the right approach. I know that’s kind of tricky when she’s pushing and I’m sure a lot of people who are watching this right now are like “I would be happy if she would be pushing for it.” But he’s doing it right. He’s reassessing first and you know, take it slowly. Let’s not repeat the same mistakes. So it’s the right thing to do. So good job but let’s see.
Emotionally Abusive Ex Girlfriend: What To Do If Your Ex Is Crazy Obsessed And Jealous After Sex
But then she started sending me super weird texts like being mad that I haven’t texted her yet and I just asked her ‘what do you mean? I texted you yesterday,’ and she couldn’t really explain what she wanted. This got weirder and weirder. A few days later she sent me a really angry rant that said ‘I can’t believe that you’re like that. I had sex with you and let you do X with me and you’re acting like I don’t mean anything to you. I thought we were getting back together but I guess you don’t care about me after all.’ I’ve seen some bad shit with her in the past but this was just like really unusual even for her.
I guess she hoped that we would get back together and I suppose having sex was the signal for her that we’d be a couple again. So I think I hurt her feelings and I’m not sure what to do. She’s kind of going crazy right now and I don’t know how to feel. Part of me wants to keep dating her because the sex was fucking insane. On the other hand she seems kind of not very rational right now and I don’t want yet another drama episode with her. What do you think should I do? Can I actually do something about the drama with her? Thanks for your suggestions.
So yes clearly, she went in there with a lot of expectations and she must be very emotional. I don’t know if she was like this in the past in the relationship. You should definitely keep an eye on this. So are you just going back into a spiral of drama because that seems to be what you’re concerned about. Now, quite frankly I would give this a shot. I think yeah, she’s overreacting. She’s very emotional but maybe she just really freaking loves you and she had her hopes way too high. What I would suggest to you is date again, meet up with her again and I would probably address this problem. Talk with her that your expectations are that you just want to spend time with her. You don’t want to be in a relationship yet. You like to be with her. You love the intimacy. You love to be around her but you want to take it slowly.
You don’t want to repeat the same mistakes. Tell her “I don’t want to cause these problems with us again. I think the way that our relationship ended in the past obviously wasn’t good and I want us to make a better start.” Tell her that you want to do this because you actually care for her and you want to start something better and if she’s not batshit crazy, the passive aggressiveness, and the being butthurt, and sending you these rants and all that stuff. Maybe she’s just very emotional but if she’s a healthy woman, if she has learned her lessons from the past she’s going to listen to this. She’s going to hear you out. She’s going to understand that you are there for her. That you want to make it work with her and then you’re gonna make it work. So I would give this another shot.
However, if this behavior doesn’t change then it seems to me that you’re just going back into the same spiral of the things that didn’t work out. You didn’t mention particularly the things that didn’t work out but I have a feeling this was probably some of her characteristics in the relationship insecurities most likely and if that is the case then maybe it’s a good idea to not get back together. It really depends on the situation. I would give this a shot like you know a few more dates. Date casually for a few weeks. Make sure that she’s okay with that. That there are no expectations yet. Date for a few weeks to like a few months. Slowly get more serious but make sure that if you see the drama repeatedly very often very quickly then she’s probably not the right woman for you and I think you’ve done a great job with the way that how you handled no contact or the breakup.
You’ve healed yourself so I have a feeling you would also be ready for another woman. So I know the sex is great and it seems like yeah it sounds like it’s pretty good and if you can make this work again I think it’s probably gonna be really great but she’s gotta be in it as well. She can’t expect to just have you back and repeat certain drama patterns again, all right. So she needs to make a change as well. It sounds to me that you’ve changed so has she changed? I think you haven’t given her enough time yet. Maybe she’s just emotional. If she hasn’t changed then move on. Find yourself another woman. You’re a king. You deserve a queen. You deserve an amazing woman. So that is my advice to you. As you guys can see it’s not always clear-cut. You shouldn’t always get back with an ex or you gotta evaluate a little bit. Try it out for a while. Sometimes you try it out and just won’t work because you both can’t make it work. Sometimes she can’t make it work. Sometimes you can’t make it work and sometimes you can make it work.
So you should never get back with an ex and just be like okay done! This is it! We’re going back together and problem solved. No. You gotta address the underlying root problem and it seems that there is still a bit of a root problem there perhaps. Maybe she’s also just insecure. Try to address that if you can. Then everything’s perfect. Then I think you can have a great relationship. If not move on. Find yourself a great woman who’s no drama. All right so that is my advice to you. Let me know in the comments what you think. Give me a thumbs up, subscribe to the channel and never forget to unleash the king within.