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Watch the subtitled video above if you prefer to listen to my advice.
In today’s video, we’re gonna talk about an ex with no contact. Using the no contact rule after she cheated. I think it’s very important that you recognize that if you’ve had a breakup and there was cheating, or some form of cheating, emotional cheating, or almost cheating, she was in the process of doing it, then you gotta be really careful. Of course, relationships are complicated and there’s not always just black and white. It’s not that simple most of the time, but ultimately, if an ex comes back after she cheated on you, don’t roll out the red carpet. And essentially, you don’t get an award for her reaching out. So a lot of guys, when they hear from their ex, they are like “Yeah! I heard from my ex!” … And yeah, you should be happy if you heard from your ex who was very healthy and it wasn’t really fucked up, but if it was very fucked up, then you gotta think twice about getting back together.
And at the very least, don’t celebrate her being back, because sure, she’s back, and it’s great if you can make it work out again. But just because you want her back and you heard from her… Is it really a good thing? Because if she’s been cheating on you or thought about cheating on you, or she was in the process or something like that. Talking to some guys… That’s not really a good thing if she’s back. She’s not a good woman for you. Yes, maybe you can make it work and you can do the hard work to make it work, but it’s not something to celebrate, for sure. So look, it’s just important that you are real with yourself after a breakup because you shouldn’t just blindly take any ex back just because she’s back. Like “Yay, my ex is back!!!” Well, what if your ex totally sucked, right? So you gotta think this through, obviously. So anyway, I have a situation from a guy and they broke up, and she kind of cheated, I guess I would say she cheated, essentially. He thinks she didn’t really cheat so much, but hey let’s see what is my advice.
She Emotionally Cheated: When Your Ex Girlfriend Cheated On You And Comes Back
Hi coach, I want your opinion about my ex Lucy, who emotionally cheated on me last year, after which I broke up with her. I am not sure what to make of her right now. She just messaged me a day ago. Anyway, I’ll first explain the cheating. Back then, she said that she felt extremely neglected by me because I wasn’t paying attention to her. For context, back then we were both working from home. So although we spent a lot of time together, she wasn’t happy with our relationship apparently, and she had been talking to two guys on Tinder.
So it’s never a good sign if there’s cheating involved. And then the person basically says “I cheated, but yeah, but it’s your fault! I cheated because of you. You made me do this.” No, no, no. Accountability! If you cheated, then say “I cheated. This was not good. I should have never done this. And it was my fault. I felt extremely neglected but I failed to express that to you. And instead, I went to some other guys. That was uncalled for. That was not the right thing to do. I’m ashamed of what I did. And I will never do something like this ever again.” It’s important to take accountability.
And you can’t just say “Oh, it’s your fault because you neglected me.” Yes, of course, you contributed to that, but she should be real with herself and say no, this was also my fault. At least 50% of this… No, 100% of this was my fault. I always talk about this in my book. 100%. Own 100% of everything that happens in your life. In your relationship. And so she made a choice to cheat. So yeah even though you neglected her, she chose to cheat. So look, she could have just told you “Hey, you’re not paying enough attention to me,” but she didn’t do that. And that’s why I think you need to be careful about this. You got to be real with yourself. Don’t just take her back blindly. And don’t just celebrate when she’s back, because clearly, there were some pretty big problems, and it doesn’t seem to me that she has fully acknowledged them yet, or takes accountability and wants to address them properly. So anyway, let’s continue.
Did She Cheat On You: When She Says She Didn’t Cheat On You But You Break Up With Her
When I broke up with her, she said that nothing really happened with them and I actually got to see her messages on Tinder with them and it’s true. They barely talked. There was no sign of her even adding them on another messenger or meeting up with them. But still, I couldn’t bear the thought of her talking to some randos on the internet and so I decided to end it.
Yeah, that is the right call. And even though nothing happened, something could have happened. She already made the choice to go on Tinder. So maybe she couldn’t bring herself yet to do it. Or maybe it was just that she wanted to, but she didn’t have the time, yet. Who knows? But maybe she also was just not 100% comfortable with the thought, yet, but maybe she would have been comfortable with the thought of meeting up with these guys or getting their numbers in a month from now. And then maybe in two months from now, she would have fucked these guys.
So it is slippery slope and at this point, I draw a line. At basically, just don’t do any of that. Even if you just talks to some guy, I mean that opens the door for future indiscretions. It’s just not the right way to lead a relationship. Have clear boundaries. She didn’t have clear boundaries, and honestly, I can tell you, if you wouldn’t have ended it, if you wouldn’t have found out she would have just kept on pushing this most likely. So do you want to have this woman back? If yes, or if you try to get back together, you gotta address this problem. You gotta really work on this and not just on the surface level. You have to read some books. Talk to a marriage therapist, a relationship counselor. Have some actual sessions about this and talk about this in-depth. Otherwise, this probably would never work out.
Get Cheating Ex Back: My Ex Girlfriend Cheated On Me And I Want Her Back — But She Didn’t Want To
So that’s when I made the mistake after two months of being broken up that I began missing her a lot and tried talking to her. When I talked to her, she seemed kind of weird and distant. I immediately felt like something was up but didn’t know what at first, but I messaged her one more time, and then she told me that she started dating someone else, that she thinks it’s best if we didn’t talk.
So that might actually be one of the guys that she talked to and, you know she clearly was open to dating someone else already. Now, I gotta give her credit. She told you clearly “Hey I’m dating someone and I think it’s best not to talk,” so maybe she learned her lesson, or even if she didn’t learn her lesson because she just really likes the guy, at least she has a little bit of integrity left in her. So that means that she’s not just using you. So that’s a good sign. So I gotta give her a little bit of credit there. And she was right to say “Look, I can’t talk with you right now because I’m dating someone else and it’s inappropriate.” … She should have done the same thing, obviously, with the guys when you were together. Or she should have broken up with you because she said “I’m not happy with you and I’m gonna start dating other guys.” So I guess she has some potential for integrity, but obviously, there definitely needs to be some work if you get back together.
Betrayed By An Ex: My Ex Girlfriend Is Dating The Guy She Cheated On Me With
That was very unexpected and it hurt a lot when I found out that she was dating someone else, but after that, I stopped messaging her. I felt stupid to even message her after she had been cheating on me. I tried to rationalize to myself that the way she cheated wasn’t so bad because nothing happened. So anyway, now we’re back in the present day. It has been almost nine months since the breakup and out of thin air, she messaged me last night around 1am. She said that she has missed me and that she broke it off with the guy she’s been dating. She asked me if we could meet up. I don’t know what to do now. You can probably tell that I still love her but I don’t know how we can move forward now.
Well, let’s be real: She didn’t really miss you. She only misses you now because she broke off with this guy. Did she think about you while she was fucking this other guy? Probably not. Maybe she started thinking about you once she realized that this guy isn’t making her happy, perhaps, and she was basically looking for a replacement again. Now, she seems to be quite quick to just hop back and forth. That is a bit of a red flag. Now, that can be normal, of course, if she’s just unsure and she just really loves you, and she just screwed up, and she was just very confused. Sure, that can happen. But you gotta be careful because either she’s very confused and that’s why she’s doing it, or it’s an actual conscious choice. That’s why I say it’s not like an award when she reaches out to you. Okay, maybe you can fix it now because she says she misses you, but you’re not just going to pop a champagne bottle right away. Now you gotta do the hard work. She has got to do the hard work if you want to make this work out again.
Taking Back A Cheating Girlfriend: Only Take Back A Cheater If She Cheated And Regrets It!
A part of me wishes she wouldn’t even have messaged me because I was starting to feel normal again. This entire experience traumatized me a bit. I often had woken up from nightmares about her in the past, but the last few months have been much better. The other part of me still misses her and is glad that she got in touch with me. What do I do now? I don’t think I can act rationally right now, so hopefully, you can help me out.
Well, if you’ve had breakups, sorry, if you’ve had nightmares, and it was really hard on you, and you felt really traumatized, and you felt finally better and now that she’s back, it’s basically back to you’re stressed again, then I would question if this is the right thing for you. You could try it if you wanted with low expectations, and just have sex and hook up, and see where it goes. There have actually been studies that if you hook up with an ex, it’s not going to stop you from moving forward. So you could try it but it really depends on I think your mental fortitude. My take is probably, don’t do it, because you’ve had nightmares about her and the whole cheating thing, she has to apologize, basically. You can stay in touch with her and see if she actually apologizes and takes accountability for this. And if she does, then you can maybe work it out, but I wouldn’t invite her out on dates and meet up with her.
Obviously, if you want that outcome, then invite her out on dates. But it’s at your own risk. I would not invite her out on dates. I would first wait if she actually says how she feels and tries to fix it. Now, the likelihood of her trying to do that is probably very low and you gotta just be prepared for that. I don’t think that she’s gonna apologize. If she would apologize, then I would definitely give her a lot of credit, because a lot of women would not apologize. So that would be pretty good, but you gotta really wait and see what she does. I would not just say okay, great! She reached out, now she misses me and she wants to get back together. You can do that. You can probably get back with her. But I don’t think that you will just magically fix everything. I think you will get back to the same pattern.
So at the very least, if you would want to meet up with her, I would really recommend that you talk about this, eventually. You can have one casual date, maybe on the second date, latest, I would talk about how do you feel about everything. About what went down. And have a real important conversation. something really profound about what happened. What she did. Why she did it. What did she learn from that. And if she learned nothing from it, if you feel bad about yourself after that conversation, if she again says “you neglected me, and it was your fault,” basically, if she paints herself as the victim, then just dump this woman and find yourself a better woman. So that’s my advice for you. Let me know in the comments what you think. Give me a thumbs up, subscribe to the channel, and never forget to unleash the king within.