Watch the subtitled video above if you prefer to listen to my advice.
In today’s video, we’re going to talk about an ex who blocked you a hundred percent. And with that, I mean really everywhere. Now, getting blocked by an ex is already scary enough, but it’s even worse when she blocks you literally everywhere. Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, WhatsApp, whatever messengers you might have, or whatever social media app might be popular whenever or wherever you’re watching this. The guy in this video actually has been blocked even on LinkedIn, so his ex went all out. Here’s the thing, with blocks by an ex, typically, the way I see this is most of the time it’s just temporary. Now there can sometimes be instances where the block might be permanent, and you gotta be prepared for that.
The block might especially be permanent if you did something extremely bad, like cheating, being abusive, hurting her in a very specific way. If you just were a bad boyfriend, you had some fights here or there most of the time, it’s just a temporary thing. It was an impulsive decision, and after a while, she will miss you again, and she will realize, okay, I haven’t heard from him for a while, and it wasn’t that bad. It’s okay, he was upset, I was upset, and she will undo the block. But sometimes there might be the rare case where you just did something that to your ex The Situation is unforgivable, or to anybody would be unforgivable. Perhaps cheating would be one case, and you gotta be prepared that sometimes maybe your ex does not unblock you. But most of the time, you just don’t do anything, you don’t chase, you don’t try to influence her, you don’t try to talk to a friend, you just leave it as it is, and after a while, your ex will unblock you all by herself. Now anyways, let’s get into the situation, and let’s see what is my advice.
When your Ex GF Blocks you on Everything: when your Ex Hates you after Begging and Pleading
Hello coach, I am kind of hanging by a threat with my no contact journey right now, and I hope that you could give me some advice what I should do. I recently started going no contact after way too much begging and pleading with my ex-girlfriend, but what’s worse is that I didn’t just beg and plead a little bit. My ex actually blocked me pretty much everywhere after I begged and I’m afraid that I forced her to completely shut me off with my insecure behavior.
That happens all the time. Many, many guys that I work with do that, and I get a lot of messages, well I don’t get that many messages. I have a lot of messages in the backlog. I probably only made a few videos about being blocked so far. I can’t go through all messages that you give me, and I choose to give some variety in my content, but I do get a lot of blocked messages from guys that they’re not necessarily on my channel or not yet on the channel, but it happens a lot. This happens all the time. I mean, if you are very insecure, your ex will get really turned off. Most guys, especially if you are insecure, anxious attachment style, if you’re really messed up, if you’re already felt insecure after the breakup, or if you did something really bad, you typically turn her off so badly that she’s just done with you. But most of the time, that’s just how it is. No matter how bad it was, almost always, the ex will forgive you. She will get some perspective on the whole situation, also in case of blocking, and she will typically unblock you.
So yeah, it happens. You totally turned her off. But anyways, let’s see where this goes. Don’t worry about this. She will probably slowly, over time, a little bit relax her emotions about you. But we’re gonna see, of course, you did something pretty bad. So you can’t fully keep your hopes up. You gotta do no contact for yourself, because in the case that she does not unblock you, in the case that she does not forgive you for your behaviors, you gotta be happy with yourself and be able to find another woman in the future. So do no contact, not to re-attract your ex. Don’t do anything like let me try to figure out how to get her to unblock me, something like that. No. Focus on yourself, become happy again. Whatever messed you up, whatever you did wrong, we’re gonna see this in a moment. Focus on that. Focus on what you can do for yourself to become a better man who has more integrity, who treats this woman better, and also just has a better quality life in general. Okay, so let’s get into it.
My Ex GF Hates Me: I Got Drunk & Made Out with Another Girl — Is she Done With Me for GOOD?
I’m not sure what I should do. I know that usually a guy shouldn’t chase a girl, especially after getting dumped, right? But the issue is that it was really me who fucked up big time. Our breakup wasn’t just your run-of-the-mill breakup where we fell out of love or had a fight. I mean, we had a fight, yeah. But the problem is that the fight happened because I effectively cheated. I made out with another girl at a party when I was drunk. It was a pretty serious mistake and not just a short few kisses. I think I would have had sex with her if my friend wouldn’t have pulled me away from that girl.
In a way, I can be grateful for one of my best friends for looking out for me and holding me accountable. I was so ashamed after that. I didn’t tell my ex-girlfriend but she found out because word travels. So it probably needs no explanation, but my ex did not take it lightly. When she found out, not only did my actions break her heart, but she also went absolutely crazy. She broke my TV, trashed some stuff in the house, and yeah, she was furious. I tried to beg pretty pathetically on my knees. It was pretty weak, but I don’t regret doing it. I know you’re not supposed to beg, but in this case, I felt like I deserved to let go of my dignity because I really screwed up. I really, really tried so hard to stop her from leaving me, but she was so angry with me.
Okay, so I’m gonna get to the begging in a moment. Obviously, it’s very understandable that she was very furious and that she just couldn’t believe what you did. So obviously, that was awful. You should reflect on why did you actually do that. Why did you make out with another woman? Then why are you begging so hard? Why are you so in love with her? But then you wanna mistreat her like that. What led you to this? You gotta really ask yourself, what was that? Did you not communicate some of your unmet needs? Or you just, in general, lack accountability? Are you a little bit irresponsible? Debugging Do you not value her enough? What is the reason? Obviously, you need to reconcile these things, and if some of them don’t make sense for getting back together, then you shouldn’t get back with her and you should first fix yourself. You’ve gotta address this, otherwise you can never fix this with her when she comes back or if she comes back. I guarantee you this in this case, especially because we’re gonna see in a moment you’ve been blocked, but that’s really important to figure out why did this happen. Now, in terms of the begging, let me just point this out to everybody who’s watching here.
For most of you, it’s probably too late, but maybe you have an instance like this happening in the future where you fuck up something really big time with your ex again. Yes, apology is super important. Clearly, you messed it up like crazy, and that was not a small offense. I mean, you can kind of be lucky, actually, that your friend essentially looked out for you, and if he wouldn’t have been there, like you said, something really bad might have happened, so if something even worse would have happened, who knows what would happen, right? So at least you kind of got stopped there, but it’s pretty bad. Now, you should apologize, clearly. What you did is inexcusable, and when you do something really bad, you need to apologize to your woman. But the begging on your knees, this kind of stuff, even if you really fucked up, you gotta stay a little bit stoic. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t show your emotions. Obviously, you gotta show her that you care and that you recognize that you just are a stupid fuck, but you don’t need to cry like crazy. You don’t need to go on your knees or something like that.
You don’t have to be really pathetic about it. You have to just express clearly what you did, why you did it, and how sorry you are, and you can do this relatively Alpha-male-ish. You don’t have to become a beta male in the way that you beg. Have you ever apologized to a good friend of yours where you really messed up? Did you go on your knees when you did that? Probably not. Think about the worst offense that you’ve ever had with someone, excluding your ex. Everybody who’s watching this: Think about this. What is the worst thing you’ve ever done? And then think about how you apologized to that person. I bet you probably did not beg or become a beta male. You clearly expressed yourself why you did what you did and how you feel about it and that you feel really sorry and that you have remorse, but you don’t put yourself down on the floor and let them walk all over you. It’s just that you lower your position. You recognize that right now you’re the one who has to essentially say, “I have no privilege that you treat me nicely.” It’s warranted that you really hate me right now and you can hate me.
And I will take the back burner a little bit right now. I’m okay if you are going to be a little bit mean or upset at me, but you don’t have to be really negative and cry and all that shit and beg really insecurely. No, if you can express all of these things with a calm demeanor, a relatively calm demeanor, clearly express how you feel, what you want, or what you did and why you did it and how you felt, and express clearly that it really hurt you that you did this, because I think most of you guys, when you would do something like this, you really feel like shit and you really regret it. But crying never helps with a woman. If you cry in front of a woman or if you show her that you’re really weak and pathetic, it will just push her even further away. Yes, I know you get that impulse when you did something so bad and she’s just leaving you, she’s dumping you, she’s done with you like crazy. It is super impulsively incentivizing to go on your knees or maybe not necessarily go on your knees, but put out the tears and go super emotional. Try to always stay a little bit stoic as a man. Anyways, it’s okay that you apologized and at least she knows that you’re sorry. So that’s the good thing. Obviously, the begging is not so great, but I can understand why you did it. Anyways, let’s continue.
When she Blocks you on Everything: She Ignored my Apology — Is my Ex OVER me or just Angry?
Looking back, I guess she didn’t really care about anything that I said and she probably took me for a fool. I kept begging and asking for forgiveness for too long, I guess. I didn’t let up and I tried to apologize and get her to forgive me, but of course, now that I had some time to think, I only made everything much worse. I kept pushing her and now a week ago, she blocked me everywhere.
Now let’s quickly just talk about apologizing or over-apologizing and feeling like she takes you for a fool and she doesn’t hear anything that you’re saying. I don’t think really that’s what’s going on. When you apologize, they can’t believe it in that moment because it’s like cognitive dissonance. You clearly did something really bad. So if you apologize for something incredibly bad that you did, they just can’t believe it. It’s like, you’re full of shit. You say that you’re sorry, but if you would be really sorry, you would have never done this in the first place. In the beginning, they can’t believe that at all. Now, over time, they will probably remember your apology and they will probably not 100% believe it yet, but at least it will be stuck in their mind.
And over time, they will think about it more often. She will think about this more often. And at the very least, she will probably be curious and want to know more. She will probably want some closure. She will probably want to know why did he do this? She will probably wanna know how sorry are you really? She will want to figure out, have you learned something from this? Have you made a change? That of course depends on how close you are, how close you were, how long you’ve been together, how much she loves you. It’s only been a fling for like three months. She will probably just move on and she’ll be like, yeah, whatever, fuck you. But if she really cares about you, this will get stuck in her head and she would think about this every now and then. Okay, anyway, let’s continue. You’ve been blocked everywhere and you say:
Being Blocked by an Ex Girlfriend: It Technically Doesn’t Matter that she Blocked You Everywhere
And when I say everywhere, I really mean it. Facebook, IG, TikTok, WhatsApp, even on LinkedIn. She went out of her way to completely shut me off from literally any platform she could think of. I’m now completely in the dark and now I’m stuck knowing that it’s all my fault. I kept pushing the boundaries of what was okay for her and I messed it up in the first place by making out with that girl. It’s all my fault. There is no possible excuse in the book that I could come up with. It’s all broken and damaged by my own actions. I don’t know what I should do or could do now. It seems that I pushed my head against the wall for so long without realizing that what I did wasn’t the right thing to do.
I don’t know what I can still do at this point because I already made too many mistakes. I exhausted all my options but I did it in the completely wrong way and now I can’t take it back. I’ve never felt this lost in my life. I clearly failed no contact and now it seems there’s nothing left that I can do. I know that my mistakes were really big. I know that it is difficult for me to undo what I did to her and how I acted after the breakup but could you give me advice what I could do at this point? What do I do about the fact that she blocked me? Can I even still save my relationship after what I’ve done? I know I messed up big time so I’m willing to listen to your advice and do whatever it takes. Thank you for helping me if you do, Seth.
Well, first of all, I guess you’re a little bit worried because you’re blocked everywhere but, for example, what does LinkedIn even matter? She essentially blocked you everywhere because she just in that moment wanted to have no communication open. You probably begged too much, right? You chased too much, you tried to apologize too much and at some point she was like, fuck, I’m done with this. I don’t want to hear from this guy ever again but it doesn’t really matter if she blocked you everywhere or not everywhere. Focus on yourself In a specific scenario, it might matter if you really, really hurt her like crazy. I don’t think that he went too far with the cheating. I would say it’s still bad but I don’t think that’s it. I also don’t think that he was abusive, scary, violent or something like that. So it’s not like it’s a defense mechanism to completely have you shut off forever. That said, it could be that she never unblocks you. That’s why what you gotta do is, well, the only thing that you can really do is focus on yourself during no contact.
When an ex blocks you and also of course with no contact in general, you can only do one thing, focus on yourself. Never, ever, ever focus on your ex. My course is all about focusing on yourself. Any guy who focuses on his ex to get her back and thinks about, okay, what are the things that I can do to, in quotes, let’s just say, manipulate her to do the action that I want her to do. Reach out to me, confess that she still loves me, unblock me, apologize to me, whatever. If you think about ways how you can get your ex to take action, it’s never going to happen. She has to take that action all by yourself. The action that you need to be focused on or to get the action to happen is, what are the things that you want to do? What are the things that you are holding yourself back from, like learning about why did you cheat? Like becoming more loving, connecting more often with your woman. What are the things that you didn’t know? Now, these things, they actually require work. Like for example, if you cheated, for example, because you’re made up of a girl, because you’re not ready to commit yet to a relationship. Maybe you still want to hook up. Maybe you had an unfaithful family. Maybe your dad or your mom were unfaithful, something like this, and you need to reconcile that. Maybe you need to see a therapist, for example. That requires action.
So the action that you should be focused on is how can you become better? Identify your shortcomings, the things that you did. You already probably know some of them, but identify the root cause. Why did you actually do that? And then look at actions that you can take. Not just that, also focus on general, how can you improve yourself? Become more attractive, become more well-rounded, become a really smart man who educates himself, who learns from his mistake, who learns how do we have more integrity, how to become more loving, kinder, how to become more honest, obviously. Maybe you’re afraid of honesty. And there are a lot of ways how you can improve your character. All of these things, your character, your physique, your job, your career, and so on and so forth. All of these things require action. That is the action that you need to be focused on. You can’t get your ex to unblock you. You can’t just message one of her friends to say, hey, I wanted to talk with her. It’s just gonna make it worse.
You gotta leave this up to her. It’s up to her to unblock you. And like I said, there’s no guarantee that she will unblock you. It’s highly probable that she probably will unblock you at some point, but if she doesn’t, you gotta be okay with this. So you can’t do anything except for accepting the situation as it is. That’s why guys beg, right? You don’t accept the situation for what it is. You think that you can still make a change in the moment, but in the moment you can’t make a change. You can only change yourself. She’s going to change herself over time, and then if she sees change within you, she’s going to reach out to you. So the only thing you can do is change yourself. Focus on yourself. Get back to being on top. I know probably right now you feel like shit. You probably don’t feel really good right now. I think you said this somewhere. Let me just see if I can find it again. You said something like, your life is just really messed up or something like that, right? You’ve never felt so shit or whatever. I forgot the phrasing, but you feel like crap basically. So stop feeling like crap.
I know that’s like, okay, how do I stop feeling like crap? You gotta work on yourself. Get back to some habits. I know it’s not an easy thing to do, but the best way to get an ex back is to not feel like crap and not look like crap. Basically, once you look attractive again, because you feel attractive inside, once you like yourself on the inside, your ex can see that. So that’s what you gotta focus on. How can you feel attractive to yourself on the inside? What can you do to be proud of yourself about the changes that you’ve made? That will reflect on the outside, not just with your ex, but with other people and other women. And that’s when she will become more attractive to you. Now, again, caveat, it’s no guarantee that she will unblock you and you have to be okay with that. But if you focus on exactly that, to love yourself again, to feel attractive to yourself, then you will be okay with that if she doesn’t unblock you. So that’s my advice to you. Let me know in the comments what you think. Give me a thumbs up, subscribe to the channel, and never forget to unleash the king within.
