Watch the subtitled video above if you prefer to listen to my advice.
In today’s video, I’m going to talk about what to do if a woman flakes on you but she actually reschedules. Should you actually be dating her? And I think there’s probably a lot of controversial ideas going around this right now, if you look at all the red pill stuff, and I think a lot of stuff on TikTok nowadays, is like guys are super easily getting butthurt about girls flaking, and pulling back, and not giving you attention, or being low interest and all that stuff. To that I say “Shut the fuck up, you wussies!“
The Truth About A Girl Flaking: Every Woman Flakes Because Women Are Hypergamous
Look, girls are always fluctuating with their interest. And my overall opinion with flaking is, if a girl flakes on you, yeah, sure, she’s got no interest but that could be because of you, could of course also be because she has a lot of guys in the picture, but dude, that’s actually reality. What’s your problem? Stop bitching about it. Stop whining about the fact that she has a lot of guys in the picture. That is what the life of woman is like and you’ve got to be the best man. And if you are the best man and she flakes on you, but then she gives you another option/opportunity, you can make it work. Maybe sometimes the woman is manipulative, absolutely! That can be the case but most girls, they’re just like that. They’re like “I’m not sure about this guy,” and they’ll flake. Then they changed their mind, they come back, and if you play your cards right, you can actually still seduce her. You can still get that girl, and even a girl who seemed like she is a no-go zone, and she will never work out, she could become your girlfriend! She could… Heck, become your wife! So I am definitely not a big fan of burning bridges. I think that is quite stupid. So anyways, let’s get into the situation of a guy who had that problem, that a girl flaked on him, essentially, and he’s not sure what to do. So let’s see what is my advice.
Before A Girl Flakes: When You Had Great Chemistry And She Was Totally Into You
Hi coach, I need your feedback about this situationship that I’m in right now with this girl. So me and this girl matched on Tinder about a month ago. We had really great conversations when we started chatting. We had lots of fun, banter, we have similar interests in music, and other stuff, like we both enjoy road trips to the beach.
So, so far, so good. Everything was perfect. Exactly, right. Typically, there’s a lot of chemistry, very often, and then you’re like “What the hell happened?! She’s just gone!” Well, you know, maybe it’s an ex who’s in the picture. Maybe it’s another guy in the picture. Or who the hell knows what it is. Sometimes girls, you know, maybe she was currently still dating some guy and she maybe hooked up with him but she was also talking to you, but then for some reason she’s done with dating for the moment. She’s just really annoyed with dating apps and with hookup culture, or whatever, who knows what her reason is for flaking on you and being done with it. But there could be all kinds of reasons. Sometimes it’s not even about you, and even if you do everything right and it’s not about someone else, it’s not like some other guy is in the picture. You don’t know what’s the reason for her flaking, sometimes, and if you just get butthurt about this, and then say, this can’t work out because she flaked on me once, that’s nonsense. You said it yourself. Everything was perfect so far. So you should see, can you still make this work out. But anyways, let’s see what you say.
Setting Up The Perfect Date: Don’t Make It Too Hard For Her & Keep It Simple
Now, after two weeks of chatting casually with her every now and then, I decided to ask her out on a date. I asked her if she wanted to go to a small art festival in a city nearby and then head to the beach. The city is like maybe one hour away by car, maybe one and a half if there’s traffic. It’s actually a very nice city. A lot of people go there during the weekends, so I thought it would be perfect for a first date.
Well, yes and no. So your idea of the date actually sounds pretty nice. You said yourself that you like going to the beach and you wanted to go to the beach after that, and an art festival sounds pretty fun! If that place, if that city is really a place that people like to go to for leisure and for just chilling and having a great weekend trip and all that stuff, that’s not bad. The problem is that it’s quite far. It’s one hour by car. One and a half hours. I know, one hour by car does not sound that far, but for a first date with a woman who was very low interest, or not low interest. That might be the wrong word, but she’s not invested in you. She’s low investment so far, and if she has to go that far, that might not be something that she wants to be willing to commit to, and at the same time, if you would be saying “Hey, no problem, we go with my car,” you know, no woman is just gonna go into your car and go on a trip with you if she’s never been with you. She’s at least gonna want to see you face to face once before she takes a trip, even if it’s just one hour away with you, because she doesn’t know you.
She doesn’t know if she can trust you. And so she has to get there by herself. One hour. It’s quite far, one hour, right, for a date. It’s probably more one and a half. It sounds like you’re probably a bit optimistic. Let’s be real: There’s typically always traffic in the world. Unless you go exactly at the right time, you typically don’t get the right timings and you don’t want to be creating a scenario or an environment where going on a date becomes stressful. I still remember when I was still living in the Philippines in Manila, in Metro Manila, which has the worst traffic that you could possibly imagine. Typically, the mega cities in Asia, the traffic is the worst. And so I know exactly that feeling when you want to go on dates. But even just meeting up, like the ride, it takes an hour, one and a half hours, just to see each other! It’s not fun! So you want to make sure that it’s very easy. You should have a date that is a bit closer to you. I know, the art festival sounds really nice in theory, and it probably would be very nice for a second date. For the first date, if it’s so far away, it’s not a good idea. So you should have probably chosen a place that is closer to both of you where it’s just easier for her to commit.
When She Flakes On You: An Alpha Male Mindset Of What To Do When A Girl Flakes
She said yes to the date but now it turns out that she flaked on me three days before the date. I am writing this on Friday, by the way, so the festival is tomorrow and I’m a little bit frustrated. I know I should go to the festival anyway, but I don’t feel like it at all.
No, actually you should definitely go! Not just because I know that you don’t feel like it and you fee like “Fuck! Now I can’t go with her. And I was so excited about it! We had great chemistry.” I know that sucks. First of all, yes, you should go. just to know that, okay, you know what? Sometimes you get rejected by girls or they flake on you, or they don’t show up for a date. All of these things. And you should be fine with that. Just do your thing! The art festival probably sounds cool if it’s something that you’re into. And you like to go to the beach anyways, you can chill by the beach, who knows, maybe you meet a cute girl on the art festival or by the beach, and that’s actually exactly why you should go. Because what I would suggest is, I would not send her any snaps, any pictures about the art festival I wouldn’t chase her or anything like that. I wouldn’t let her know: “Look, you’re missing out on this art festival!”
However, if I were you, and I would be going to a cool art festival, I would just take some stories, some videos for a story. Actually, yesterday it was… Or two days ago, here in Bali, in Ubud, they have this festival called Kunigan & Galungan, and Kuningan, it’s a Hindu tradition, basically it’s kind of like a new year celebration. They pray for balance and stuff like that. And it’s a cool cultural event. I went to the temple there and I took some videos. It’s super amazing! The culture there in Bali is really cool and the things that they do here, it’s just so different from Europe and it’s also different from places like the Philippines. And so I took some nice stories and I posted them on Instagram, of course, and on my WhatsApp, and guess what happened? Chicks messaged me, so… They’re like “Oh, that’s so cool!” And they want to talk about it. They want to start a conversation with me because they’re into me, and so you could do the same thing. Just post it on your stories. Is she gonna reach out to you? Is she gonna try to initiate the conversation if she’s still a little bit committed to you? Yes, maybe she won’t.
If she doesn’t, whatever, maybe someone else will, but at least you’re having fun and you’re showing her, “You know what? Okay, fine. You didn’t want to go on that date with me? I still had fun!” and it’s not about chasing her. It’s just a subtle hint that says “yeah, it doesn’t bother me! And look at all that cool stuff that I’m doing! I’m having fun despite the fact that I feel bummed out!” You should be feeling bummed out, right. You’re feeling bummed out and you don’t want to go, and a girl might expect you to exactly feel that way, and just not go, or stay at home, or whatever. You know, be negative. But no, instead, you’re totally positive, you take some videos of the festival, be fun and she gets to see “Damn! This guy is pretty positive! I just basically turned him down and he is essentially going on with his life as if nothing happened!” That’s kind of attractive. Now it’s not to tease her or anything. It should still be for you, not for her. Have a good time, even without her. And if she then notices that that’s pretty cool… But that’s not the point. I would just do that anyways, because maybe you have some other chicks who actually want to respond “Oh that’s so cool! I wish I could have gone with you!” You never know what happens if a girl, another girl who likes you is talking to you has interest, she might actually respond to that and use it as an opportunity to initiate conversation.
She Wants To Reschedule: How To React After Getting Flaked By A Woman— Walk Away Or Second Chance?
So the thing that’s confusing is that she actually offered to reschedule the date, so I’m not sure if she flaked on me for a legit reason or not, and she’ll just play games with me moving forward. She told me that she had to work. She’s a student and she’s also working at Starbucks, so honestly, she might have really just been busy.” I’m not sure how last minute scheduling works at Starbucks.
I also don’t know how scheduling works at Starbucks, but typically, even in the restaurant industry, maybe at least in Asia, it sometimes can be a little bit spontaneous. Not just in restaurants, also in retail, in general, like in fashion stores and all that stuff. Often, the people who work there don’t even know what branch they’re going to be at sometimes. With Starbucks it might be different but sometimes they don’t know if they’re going to be in branch A, or branch A, or branch C, and sometimes you also might not know the time. Now, the thing is, she’s suggested to reschedule, right? Most girls, if they have absolutely no interest whatsoever, they will not even bother to offer to reschedule. Is she gonna play games? Maybe.
But there’s only way to find out! You gotta try one more time. And that’s going back to what I said in the beginning: I just don’t believe in that saying of no second chances, you screwed up once, so I’m done with you, or you don’t make me your number one priority in life, even though we’ve never met. Shut the… Just come on, man! If she really is busy with Starbucks, for example, because she’s a student, and she gotta earn money as well, you can’t help it, man. But if she at least offers to reschedule, I would try it out. Who knows?! Maybe you can literally have another date next week! The thing is, I would make it a lot easier if she offers to reschedule. Well, I think you’re about to ask this anyway, so let me first continue, and then I’ll get to that point.
Signs That She Likes You: If She Flakes On You She’ll Make An Effort And Make It Up To You
She is still texting me and she still seems to be interested in me, at least I think, but I’m not sure what I should say or do now. She said that she was sorry and that she really wanted to see me but that she just couldn’t make it and that she still wants to see me when she is free.
Yeah, see? So she’s kind of sorry and she kind of likes you and she says, or you say, “Should I just suggest another date with her for the next weekend? Or do you think it’s a red flag if we haven’t even made it through our first date without a problem? I honestly don’t feel like she’s a bad girl or dating someone else, etc but maybe you have a better idea. Based on the story would you still go on a date with her if you were me? Or do you think she is low interest and she’s only keeping her options open with me? Thanks a lot for the help!“
I think probably not that she’s keeping her options open. I think she likes you. It seems like you had good chemistry and shit just got in the way… The thing is… If she would be playing, right, if she is just going to be a narcissistic bitch and she just likes the attention, all that stuff… If she does it twice then, “Okay, I’m done with this!“… What I would suggest to you is: Yes, schedule another date but maybe not make it so formal. Don’t make a big date. Make it easy for her. So for example, say “Hey, when are you free? Let’s just meet up for maybe not a coffee,” but coffee, if she’s working at Starbucks for sure not. Let’s meet up for a simple dinner at a place that is convenient for both of you, where let’s say even if she goes to Starbucks, sometimes you have dates with girls, they have to go to work, you tell them “Hey, bring something nice so that you can change before our date. Then I’ll take you out for a nice dinner and then we maybe do something else afterwards. It’ll be a surprise.”
Sometimes you have to go on a date after work and girls, they will be willing to go on dates with you after work if they like you. Now, if it gets really complicated where you have to go one and a half hours, right, to the other city, that’s much more complicated. As I said do that on the second date! Especially if she has a bit of a complicated schedule with Starbucks and all that stuff. Look, that’s not her fault if that happened and she couldn’t do anything about it. Shit happens! But if she means well and she said “Hey I want to still see you,” and she’s still texting you, then I don’t think that she’s playing games. Typically, if a girl plays games, you can tell that really fast. If you have self-respect, if you can see the pattern after a second time… “Yo, this does not make sense what you’re telling me! Your actions do not match this. This happened twice now already in two weeks. Hell, no! I’m out of here!” But if this doesn’t happen again, then especially if it doesn’t happen very often, then you should give her another chance. I do think, since you have good chemistry, like for example, you said that you enjoy the same music, right. You could take her out for dinner. Simple dinner and then go somewhere where they have cool live music.
I mentioned this before maybe on the channel, oh the live music here in Bali is pretty cool, or also in Jakarta, it’s so great! And you can just randomly go out in mega cities. At least you can randomly go out, basically, every day and you can just go somewhere. Like, for example in Bali, they have this coffee shop / a cafe / bar called Pison Cafe and every single night they have live music there. Really great live music. So you could literally take a girl on a date there every single day of the week. And you could have some fun. So think about where can you go? Where is it a little bit easier to arrange it? You should make sure the logistics are a lot easier for her, especially if she has a bit of a difficult schedule right now. And once you get through the first date, then eventually you can talk about how to make things work and then if she still ends up being inconsistent after date two, three, four, then you could decide “I don’t want want this. She’s a good girl but she’s kind of inconsistent with her time.” But if you really like each other, and then you get together, and you date, and you hook up, and you make out, you kiss, and you eventually become girlfriend & boyfriend or at least you’re casually dating, and you really like each other, then you can make it work.
Typically, everybody has got their time constraints. Some have more, some have less. Meaning, you’re gonna work around it and you gotta be a little bit open-minded about this. If you just give up on any chick just because there’s one small problem, well you’re gonna be single for the rest of your life. To be fair. To be honest. And that’s just not a great dating strategy, in my opinion. And that’s why I honestly think that the whole red pill stuff is kind of like, Shove the fence down! It doesn’t make any sense to me. Like, come on dude! Nobody’s perfect! We’re all not perfect and if you can’t forgive someone else for their imperfections or making a mistake, she can’t do anything about it and she seems like she is actually regretful because she suggested “Hey, I still want to see you. Sorry about that!” Right, so I don’t think that she meant to flake on you. I’ve seen other scenarios probably, I have some videos on my YouTube channel as well where it was more obvious that she was playing the guy and I don’t think she’s playing you.
So invite her out for another date. Make it simple. I don’t think it’s a red flag. Yes, the first date didn’t work out, but maybe sometimes it just doesn’t. Something gets in between. But if the second date works out and you think it’s fine and then the third one works out, and maybe the fourth one works out, then it’s pretty clear that this was just a one-time thing. And you couldn’t make things work back then, the logistics were bad. Maybe it was just literally the worst timing. Maybe this only happened once in the last year that she had this weird schedule change, or something like this. You never know, honestly! You don’t know her history and you don’t know how often this kind of stuff happens. Sometimes you think that everything is going to work out fine with whatever it is in life, dating, or your work, schedules or something, and then something gets in between that you could have never possibly predicted. And are you going to judge a person based on that one moment where they were at their worst? Maybe not even by their own admission, not by their own fault.
No, of course not. Then you’re gonna miss out on a lot of opportunities. So that’s my advice for you. Try another date. Yes, definitely go for it. And make it simple. Don’t go far away to some big art gallery stuff, or whatever. If there’s an art gallery that you like, or whatever, or music, or something like that nearby, and it’s quite simple… Yes, perfect! But I suggest do something where you can even be a little bit flexible with the time during the day. And also even the date. So if something gets in between, if she needs to work another 30 minutes longer than expected, then you can still make it work. So don’t do something where the time constraints are very precise, because it seems like that’s something that is maybe a problem for her. It could not be a problem. As I said, maybe this was a one-time thing. Anyways, that’s what I would do. Let me know in the comments what you think. Give me a thumbs up, subscribe to the channel, and never forget to unleash the king within.
