Watch the subtitled video above if you prefer to listen to my advice.
In today’s video, we’re going to talk about women that you shouldn’t be dating. Sometimes you’re dating women that are low integrity. They have double standards. They want to be treated nicely but they don’t want to return the favor to you as a man. You gotta respect yourself. And I am all for making relationships work. I have almost… I have one third of my book actually dedicated to making relationships work. But sometimes, if the woman is just awful, if that chick just has no Integrity, you gotta dump her.
You can’t make something work with a woman who doesn’t want to make things work. You can try as hard as you want, if she always complains and has double standards, and she thinks you’re doing something wrong, but then she does the same thing and she doesn’t see anything wrong with that, these kind of women, you gotta drop them. So I have a situation from a guy who is in a relationship with a woman where maybe you can make it work, but I think most likely not. The woman sounds to me like she’s a low Integrity woman. Low-value woman. And if you see yourself as a king, if you see yourself as a high-value male, then you would never date a chick like this. Alright, so let’s get into the situation. Let’s see what I have to say.
When You Didn’t Pay Attention To Her: What To Do When She’s Mad And Ignoring You
Hello coach, I hope this makes it into a video. I am lost on what to do with my girlfriend who says I am not being a good boyfriend. I’m worried that we will break up soon if things don’t improve. Actually, we sort of already broke up once. It wasn’t very really for long. It was just for a day, basically, when we had a fight. Then we got back together. So the issue is that she accused me of not being attentive to her, resulting in her withdrawing from the relationship.
Now, not being attentive to your girlfriend obviously, that’s the valid reason for your girlfriend to be upset, but it doesn’t make sense to withdraw from it when you’re not attentive to her. Well, let’s see. It sounds to me that’s a protest behavior, essentially, or yeah, it’s protest behavior. It’s essentially punishment for you doing something wrong. You don’t punish someone for doing something wrong and hope that this will make it better. Yes, obviously, don’t reward a person, but you gotta tell a person what is wrong and tell them “Hey, this is how you fix it,” instead of just basically withdrawing from the person. It makes no sense. It’s like you’re working at a company and you’re a manager and then you complain to your employee: “You’re always coming late! I don’t like this,” and then you come even later to make their life an inconvenience to prove them “This is why you shouldn’t be late because now I’m late and now I’m not here for your meetings, and now your life at the company sucks,” obviously that doesn’t work. Yes, you need to have consequences for bad actions, but what she’s doing is basically not the right way to go with it in a relationship.
She’s Being Distant With Me: Walk Away From Women’s Mind Games! She Can’t Be Trusted!
I think it’s a way of hers to get my attention or to punish me when she feels like I am not present in the relationship. This then results in her often living a lavish lifestyle of partying with her girlfriends and spending far much time away from home for my taste. I don’t know if I should be worried about any guys.
If you’re worried about any guys, or if you feel like you should be worried about any guys, that is a pretty red flag already. And if your girlfriend withdraws from you and then also parties a lot with her friends, she basically acts like she’s single. That’s a huge red flags and that’s a woman that you don’t want to date. This is the kind of woman where you tell her “Look, what you’re doing is not the right thing to go. I don’t appreciate this. You can do this when you’re single, but you don’t do this with me while you’re dating me. If you want to do this, if you think this is okay, then be my guest. Leave. Find someone else. But if you’re not happy with me, you gotta tell me, but you don’t pull shit like this.” You can tell her this in a more polite way initially, obviously, but very clearly, and if she doesn’t understand that, you walk away from that kind of woman. but let’s see what you continue saying.
Low Integrity Women & Women’s Double Standards: Stay Away From Women Without Integrity
Nothing ever happened but there was this one time when she was out late at night with two guys, but I wasn’t sure what was going on and that really made me angry, but also insecure, which I let out on her.
That’s normal. That’s fine that you let it out on her. Anybody would feel insecure if some shit like that would happen. Look, we’re all human beings and if your chick is seemingly cheating on you, or you’re at least wondering what the fuck is happening, dude that’s a red flag! And it’s normal to freak out. Now, obviously, you should just let it out on her politely. Say “hey, what the fuck is this?” Well, that’s not polite. “Hey, what are you doing? Why are you doing this? Don’t you see that there’s something wrong here? I want to talk about this with you. What do you think what would happen if I would be doing this to you? Put yourself in my position. Babe if I would feel like I’m not being valued and then I go out and party with my bros and I don’t come home until like 2 am in the morning and maybe I’m spending time with some chicks, how would you feel?”
You know, exactly how you would feel. That’s why I said early in the beginning: Double standards, right. If you would pull this shit, you would probably have your ass dumped already. So think about that. Why would you let her do this to you? If you would do the same thing, you’d probably already be broken up by this point. And she would probably call you a piece of shit. You would be a shitty guy. A cheater. Someone who doesn’t value her. You know those chicks who post on Instagram and all that stuff after a breakup, like “It was it’s not too much to demand my time and my attention. And I value myself in a high standard. And if a guy can’t appreciate you, someone else will.” These kind of things. You know what I mean, right? Chicks post that shit all the time. Of course, there’s some truth behind that shit, but why does it only apply to women? It also applies to us guys. If she treats you like shit, if she does something that she you would feel doesn’t value her, if it would happen to her, then why would it be okay if she does it to you, right? So think about that. Let that sink in for a moment. And probably, you should recognize that’s not the right way to go. You should tell her that, calm, collected, be a gentleman about it, but hey, “What the hell is this? This does not make sense!” So let’s continue.
Avoid Low Value Female Behavior: When A Woman Blames You For Everything
The problem is that she blames me for not paying enough attention to her, but then she also punishes me by withdrawing physically. She’s distant and spends a lot of time with other people instead of spending it with me. And I don’t know what I should do anymore. How do I fix the problem. I know where she is coming from. It’s true that it was me who started being distant with her because of stress at work and also because my dad used to have cancer. Fortunately, my dad made a full recovery, by the way.
I’m glad that your dad made a full recovery. It doesn’t matter who initiated it. Look, if you fuck it up, if you fucked something up initially and you made some mistakes, you can’t hold the person accountable for something that they’ve done who knows, months ago, if you were the first trigger who started it, well what does that mean? What matters are the actions in the moment. Right now, you fixed your shit. Your dad is fine. And it seems that you’re doing much better. But why would she still now act this way when things have been improving?
It’s just that I wasn’t in a good place back then and made the mistake of not paying enough attention to her. Basically, she had to take the back seat to my problems for a while. That’s no longer the case.
Exactly.
I’m still feeling stressed at work but not as much as I used to but she says that we are too distant. Yet, she’s the one who’s distancing herself from me.
So basically, she’s making an excuse. Yes, it was probably true that you were the one who was distant. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for you with your dad having cancer and then the stress at work. So you were distant and it probably spiraled out of control. She felt left out. She felt alone. She felt like you were no longer really there with her and I don’t know how long that went on. It’s kind of shitty to do that while your dad has cancer. Maybe it continued even after that a little bit but it doesn’t matter how long it happened. But eventually, she felt unloved. And if she feels unloved, that’s fine. That’s her prerogative. She can feel unloved in a relationship. Obviously, no matter the circumstances, that’s normal. At this point, you’re just in a spiral of becoming more antagonistic with each other.
Biggest Female Red Flags: If Gour Girlfriend Parties Without You — Don’t Let A Woman Ruin Your Life
I love her and I want to make it work but I can no longer mentally deal with her going AWOL when going out with her friends.
Yeah, I mean she’s still doing this shit even though things have improved and she’s acting like you’re still the same guy who didn’t make her happy. I don’t know when it happened. I forgot the time frame. I don’t think he mentioned it here, but basically, she’s acting like he’s still that guy. You, however, fixed yourself. So she’s basically saying “Hey, I can still do the same shit that happened… I can still do the same stupid shit and withdraw from you and not give you attention. Punishment! Because I feel like you know I can’t forgive what you’ve done.” Let’s say three months ago. What the hell is that shit, man? This is not the way to go. You can’t just hold someone hostage for something bad they’ve done a half a year ago. You gotta look at what’s happening in the moment. And typically that’s actually what women do. Women are typically more in the moment, rather than counting all of these things that went wrong and looking back rationally at all the things that happened such a long time ago. Women will just typically respond to how they feel in the moment.
And if she can’t appreciate that you are back to normal right now, that’s a red flag because she basically stopped giving a fuck and she doesn’t respect you anymore. That’s a big problem! You should probably tell her how you feel. Tell her that you feel disrespected. And tell her that this is not okay. And it’s not okay to go AWOL like you said. What the fuck?! AWOL! If my girlfriend would go AWOL, I would just say “Look, we can’t do this. If you want to do this kind of stuff, you got to be single, or you gotta date someone else. This stuff does not work with me. This is disrespectful. Think about it! If I would be wondering what you’re doing or why you’re not home when I come home from work, you would not accept this at all. I don’t accept this. I want my woman to be dedicated to me. If you feel unheard, if you feel like I’m not giving you enough attention, then let’s talk about it. Let’s have a reasonable discussion about it. Let’s see what we can improve. What do we need to work on”
And then you try to work on it. And if she doesn’t want to do that, or if you can’t figure it out, if you can’t improve it after having a conversation about this and you break up, and then you did your best. And sometimes that’s just how it goes. Some relationships can’t be worked out. And that’s okay. I’m all for making relationships work but if you can’t make them work out for whatever reason, it doesn’t mean that you have to be toxic. If you just can’t see common ground then you just leave and you find a better person where you’re more suitable for each other. So, so far big red flag. Let’s see how you finish your message.
Women Who Cannot Be Trusted: Toxic Women Destroy Good Men And It’s Time To Leave Her
The worst thing is that she doesn’t even update me and what she’s doing like where she is, when she’ll be home, and so on. It really gives me anxiety to wonder about what she’s up to. I know I should just trust her but I just can’t. Something doesn’t feel right. My gut tells me that something is going on.
Look, if your gut is telling you that something is going on, typically, that gut feeling is correct. I had a coaching session… Was it yesterday? Or two days ago with a client of mine. And he wants his ex back. And he feels like his ex is currently dating some guy and he doesn’t really know for sure, but what are the odds? She’s single now and all of a sudden she spends a lot of time with this new guy that she… Who used to only be a friend. And you know… Sure, it could just be a friend and someone who’s trying to get into her pants and they’re just platonic, and she’s looking for some affection, but you know, it’s much more likely that this guy is basically the rebound. And maybe they’re hooking up. Maybe they’re just seeing each other casually right now. Who knows what’s happening. But he said like he feels like he’s probably the guy. But he’s like “Yeah, maybe I’m just reading into it. Maybe I’m just trying to make something out of nothing,” but I told him: “Look, if it’s your gut feeling, if you feel like this guy is probably the guy that she’s seeing, most likely you’re correct.”
Of course, you could always be wrong about it, but typically, your gut feeling just tells you something. It’s just human nature. It’s logic and if you feel like something is wrong, yes, sometimes we’re biased, but in a case like this, where you already see the pattern and you just apply some logic, she’s unhappy, she’s not coming home, you’re wondering what’s going on with some guys. Something is off here. It’s just… You’re basically… That’s actually logic. You’re just applying logic. Common sense here. There’s probably something going on here. I can’t say for sure but if your gut tells you that something’s wrong, never ignore that. It’s a big warning sign basically and so you know, at that point, I would have already probably been out of the relationship or at least had like an emergency session with my girlfriend to tell her hey “I really feel bad and I literally feel like I’m not sure if you’re seeing other guys,” and if you would tell your girlfriend something like this, or vice versa, if your girlfriend would sit you down…
“Hey babe, we need to talk.” Then if she would tell you, “You know what? I’m not sure if you’re seeing someone else or if you’re paying attention to other girls.“… That should be an emergency! You’d be like “What the fuck?! Sorry, babe! What is going on?!” and then you would solve it. Obviously, if you would want to solve it, right. So if you’re at this point already in the relationship, you need to question really hard why are you still in that relationship. And I think it seems like she doesn’t want to improve things, but let’s see.
Fix A Toxic Relationship: It Takes Two To Tango And Some Women Cannot Be Trusted — Ever!
I don’t want to accuse her of cheating on me but at the very least her attention is not on me so fuck dude, as Mark Manson would say: Everything is fucked. I hope you have some advice for me and what I should do now. Can we still repair this? I can hardly deal with the stress at this point. Thanks so much.
So can you still repair it? Maybe. Possibly. Like I said: I’m all for fixing relationships. Now, you expressed your point probably before in an angry manner. I would try to express it one more time. You say: “Babe, can we talk?“… Then you sit her down and you say this is how I feel. Don’t try to attack her. And tell her this is what you’re doing wrong here. “I don’t like it how you’re not coming home. How you’re doing this to some extent.” You have to say it, but basically, just tell her this is how I feel. “I feel you’re spending too much time with your friends. I feel like you’re going out too much. I feel that we’re not in a proper relationship anymore and we’re creating way too much distance between each other” Tell her clearly, but calmly how you feel. If she acknowledges that and you tell her “I can’t make this work like this, so I either want to work it out. If you don’t want to work it out then let me know.” And if she then tries to make it work out, then look, you can maybe still work it out.
That said, I do think that she is a bit of a low Integrity woman. Like I said, if you would be a guy doing this to a woman, you would have been dumped a hundred times already. Most likely maybe not if you’re in a long-term relationship where there’s a lot of investment and we tend to stick in bad relationships for too long, longer than we should, but most likely, if you would be in a not-too-committed relationship or relatively young, like one year, she probably would have dumped your ass already, unless she’s very insecure.
So ask yourself: Do you really want to be with a woman like this who has a double standard where she thinks that she can do whatever the hell she wants and basically no consequences? So do you want to be in a relationship where she has double standards? Where she feels like she can do whatever the hell she wants? Basically no consequences for her. Or do you want to be with one who respects you, who would never think of doing something like this to you ever in her entire life, most likely, or at the very least she wouldn’t push it that far. Maybe she would withdraw a little bit but definitely not in such a way. That’s just way too extreme. I think you can find a better woman. I think try it one more time. Express it really clearly without getting angry, without being antagonistic, by just saying: “Look this is not the way to conduct yourself in a relationship, and if you don’t see anything wrong with this, then I think we’re not right for each other,” and if she can’t see the error in her ways here, then she’s just not the right woman for you. She is just a low Integrity chick that is low value. That you date for a while, you recognize there’s something clearly wrong with her, a red flag, and let me run away from this and find a better woman!
I know you want to make it work and you can maybe make it work but I think the odds are relatively low here. give it a try but if it doesn’t work after one time, your gut feeling is already pretty bad. Look, give it a try and if your gut feeling is still wrong after two or three months of trying to make it work and clearly communicating what you want, then you walk away from this because you deserve so much better. You are a king and yeah, man, I mean there are a lot of great loving women out there who are forgiving, who are sometimes withdrawing when they feel unloved, but then when things go… If things go right again, if there’s no more problems in the relationship, if you fix your shit, they will be forgiving. They will love you. They will be grateful that whatever didn’t work out is now fixed and they will dedicate their love and their life to you as long as possible. And she does not seem like she’s that kind of woman to me. So make of it what you want with this advice. It’s up to you where you want to go. Personally, I would probably just break up because it’s just gone too far, but you can give it one more try, so that at least look, I tried everything I could, then you can move on without feeling bad about it, or having second thoughts. Alright, so that’s my advice for you. Let me know in the comments what you think. Give me a thumbs up, subscribe to the channel, and never forget to unleash the king within.
