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Watch the subtitled video above if you prefer to listen to my advice.
In today’s video, we’re going to talk about ignoring women. Does it actually work? So I have a situation from a guy who has been trying this advice. He has basically become a pro at ignoring women, but he’s not having any success with attracting more women by ignoring them, or replying less to them. So let’s see what’s my advice for him. Let’s see what he has to say.
Alpha Male Hoax: Is The Art And Psychology Of Ignoring A Woman Real Or Fake?
Hello coach, I wanted to ask you if it’s really true what they say on the internet that if you ignore a woman, she’s going to like you more. I have only tried this one time, which didn’t get the result most guys on TikTok say it has. To me it sounds like it’s just a hoax that some random guys say on the internet to seem alpha, but they haven’t really done it with experience. Maybe I don’t give them enough credit, but in my experience, it doesn’t work.
Now, first of all, just because it’s your experience doesn’t mean that it doesn’t work. There’s a reason why a lot of guys are saying this. Now, let me give you an example. Maybe you know Coach Corey Wayne. Maybe you know Tripp Kramer from Tripp Advice. I’m sure you’ve heard that advice before, that if you go out to parties, and if you just have fun, or maybe if you take a… I don’t have a glass right now, but you take your glass that you have if you’re in the bar and you just walk around with your buddies, and you basically say “Heey! Cheers!” to all the girls, and then you just take a sip, and then you continue walking with your buddies. All these girls will like you. You probably heard that from Tripp Kramer. I actually saw him post this on Instagram before. And I was like yeah, I heard that before!
Guess where I heard it before? From Coach Corey Wayne. Where do you think did Coach Corey Wayne hear it before? I think he heard it from Doc love. It’s just a true and tested method, that actually works, and if everybody’s repeating it, there’s probably something behind it. And the same thing… If people say on the internet that you should ignore a woman… Sure, you can say it’s all a hoax, but I’ve tried it in the past. I used to be a loser with women, and then I stopped giving less attention to women, and all of a sudden, women are actually into me because I am more focused on myself. It works. So maybe there are some guys on TikTok who are just bullshitting, but the thing is, if there’s a pattern, and everyone is saying it, and they’re successful with women, most likely, sure you can basically take no accountability and say “Hey, I tried it once. I tried it for a while. It didn’t work. This is all full of shit,” or you can ask yourself “Well, everyone is saying that this is working. Every dating coach is saying this is working, but for me it didn’t work. Maybe there’s something that you did wrong?” So that’s just something to reflect on. I think a lot of guys, or people in general, always want to not take responsibility for the results that they get in life.
And my first suggestion for you is here, look, maybe you tried it quite a bit, yes, I don’t deny that. But if it didn’t work, clearly, you’re doing something wrong. Maybe you just need to keep on trying longer until you get one result where it actually works, and then you realize, okay, this is why it worked. You get a little bit of a feeling, of an idea what you did right. And then you do it again. You can repeat this again over and over, and you talk to some more girls, and after a while you see another pattern, it works again, and you’re like okay, this is how I talk to her, and you see what patterns work with your behavior style. We’re all different. Maybe you’re an introvert. Maybe you’re an extrovert. Maybe you are a very cocky guy. Maybe you’re a very nerdy guy. Maybe you’re very techy. Maybe really into sports. Maybe you like adventure. You have your own personality. You have to figure out okay, how do you tweak that process?
And eventually, you’re gonna discover this is what I’m like. This is how I have to talk authentically with women by being myself. Ignoring them, not necessarily, but basically pacing it a little bit lower. Basically pacing a little bit slower. Not chasing them so much, and eventually going to figure out, okay, this is exactly the right mix that I need to apply. That works for me and your mix might not be the same that some other guy. You know, some guy on TikTok who says that, it might not work for you. So you have to find what works exactly for you. You apply the general principle and then you try to tweak it until it works for your use case. So just because you saw some advice on TikTok and it didn’t work, don’t just give up right away. All right, so let’s continue.
Getting Rejected By Hot Women: Ignoring A Hot Woman Will Not Always Work Like Magic
Maybe I can tell you about my experience trying it out a few weeks ago and then you can comment on that. I saw this TikTok video that said anecdotally if you ignore her like a G (in reference to Andrew Tate) then she’ll want the D.
So if you ignore her like a G, she’ll want the D. I generally agree with that take if you do it right.
Basically, if you pay no attention to her, she will chase you more and more and go crazy for you.
Yes, that is true, but let’s see what you’re doing wrong. There is a secret sauce & balance.
I wanted to put this to the test and since I generally don’t have that much luck with my dating game on dating apps, with a low number of high quality matches, I decided to try it out. I bought Tinder Platinum and swiped a lot of attractive women right and I actually got more matches than I usually would, which was really cool, but then I basically applied the strategy of being extremely slow with my replies, keeping my replies very short, and just generally not giving the girls any attention whenever possible, and in my experience this did not work at all.
The first mistake that you made was you said that you didn’t have that many great matches in general, right, of high-quality women. I would assume that means hot women. Now you probably matched a lot with hot women because you used Platinum. Your problem is you should have first tried this with not so hot women to explore first and see what works, and then you applied it to hot women because hot women… Well, they are hot! They have a lot of guys in their inbox. So if you screw it up, if you just have a small tolerance of threshold of error here, they will just find another guy where they’re not bored, or where they’re not pissed off, or where they’re getting exactly what they want. And yes, it works with hot girls, actually ignoring hot girls tends to kind of mess with their brain because they’re not used to that. And if you’re doing it slightly wrong, they’re hot girls… They can just have another guy.
So you need to find the right mix. I wouldn’t have tried it with the hot girls right away. I would have first just swiped on Platinum. Yes, Platinum, increase your numbers. Not on 10s, basically, not a 9 out of 10, not an 8 out of 10. You swipe a relatively cute, pretty girl who’s a 6 out of a 10. 7 out of a 10. Maybe an 8 out of a 10. You try out this process. You basically, in quotes, wasted your swipes on all of these hot girls before having perfected the process. And that’s frustrating. So that’s probably why you are sending me this message, because now you wasted all of this potential. Then you’re like shit this didn’t work. You basically started from the wrong starting point. You try to go for the forbidden fruit, the 10s, basically, and yeah, that was the wrong starting point. So let’s continue what you say.
Playing It Cool: This Is What Happens When You Ignore Women Without Showing Interest
Almost every hot girl just didn’t respond to me after a short while once I started using the low effort strategy. What I learned from that is that you’re not really giving anything to the girl of value by ignoring her and there’s no reason for her to chase you if you don’t give her something of value as a man. It sounds nice in theory to ignore girls, but doesn’t really work in practice.
But the thing is you actually explain the problem here. It’s not that you’re supposed to ignore a girl. You have to actually give value to a woman. Obviously, if you completely ignore her and she’s not getting anything out of the interaction, she’d be like “What the fuck?! Why the fuck did he even right-swipe me?! You fucking asshole!“… Right? And she wants to know that you have some level of interest, that you’re interested to actually get to know her. You want to actually talk to her and you’re having a good conversation. You’re exchanging the ball back and forth, trying to figure out what works. The ball. Again, patterns. The ball. I heard that before from Corey Wayne. It’s a great analogy that you shoot a tennis ball over to the other girl, and then she shoots it back to you, and you obviously have to have a play a game of two people.
Otherwise, it’s not gonna work. And like I said: If she’s hot, if you just ignore her completely, she’s just gonna run away. She’s gonna talk to whoever is currently on the assembly line, basically. Maybe right now you are really high on the priority scale. You’re the number one on the priority if she likes talking to you, but there’s someone right below you on the priority line. And if you don’t satisfy her, she’s just gonna go to number two. And if that guy doesn’t satisfy her, she’s gonna go to number three. So on and so forth. It’s not about ignoring women. It’s about just basically being quite short, concise, and you give your time to them when you have time. It’s not about being mean. It’s not about basically on purpose just not responding or taking a long time where it’s like it almost feels like you’re doing it on purpose. It’s just that you’re busy with your work. You’re busy with whatever you’re doing. Your purpose, your business that you’re working on. Or maybe your are planning a trip on a vacation, or something like that. It doesn’t really matter. But you are happy to talk to her once you figure out your shit. Once you get to get your shit done. Basically, a woman wants to see that you’re exciting and interesting. And then when you take the time to reply to her, that’s interesting.
She can tell okay, you’re busy with your stuff, you’re quite interesting! The stuff that you’re doing is really amazing, but then you take time out of your busy day to sometimes reply. I talked to this girl a few weeks ago, she matched with me and I admit I was actually bored by her, but she said something really interesting that sums it up quite nicely. She said something like “I would rather hear more from what you do because what you’re doing with the content creation and all that stuff and teaching about relationships it’s really interesting. And I want to learn more about it.” She was excited by the things that I do. Not necessarily because of the relationship stuff. I think she was just interested in me because I am living out of my comfort zone. She found it really interesting how I live fearlessly and she basically described herself and her her job as being very boring. Maybe it is, but look, if you describe yourself as a boring person, it’s not really attractive. And so I wasn’t really attracted to her, but she explained it quite nicely: She wanted to pursue me because she thought like wow, this is a really interesting guy. I rarely meet a guy like this. He has actually a story to tell. He has something interesting to share with me. I can learn something from him and I think if I date this guy, I will probably gain a lot of value. So that’s basically what it is. You have to get some value, but you give value on your own pace. Now, if you do it, in a sense of doing it on purpose and she can tell that you’re kind of ignoring her, well, if she’s hot, especially, she’s not gonna go for this. So let’s see what you continue saying.
Stop Caring And She Starts Chasing: A Woman Will Only Chase You With A Base Level Of Attraction
For example, there was one girl that I had good chemistry with her and we had been chatting a bit back and forth, but then eventually I started showing less and less interest in my replies, which by itself wasn’t easy to do, to be honest, and as soon as I stopped showing interest, she basically stopped messaging me altogether after some time. I think this strategy doesn’t work out at all if you ignore a hot girl. she will just find another dude. It’s dumb advice. I doubt most of the guys on the internet who talk about this have actually tried it. It seems that all you’re doing with this approach is that you seem like you’re a total asshole to girls. I don’t know, man, but how is that supposed to work to ignore a woman? Everyone says that you should ignore a woman but I don’t think many guys actually prove that it works. So is it all just some scam message to get lots of followers and seem like an alpha who gets lots of chicks? I just don’t buy any of this stuff. It didn’t work for me at all. Thanks a lot, coach.
Well, the problem that you described was for example, okay, you had really good chemistry with this girl, but you’ve been chatting a little bit back and forth, and then you say that you basically stopped showing interest. The problem is that yes, you have to withdraw a little bit of your attention from a woman, especially if she’s hot, so that she can feel that you’re not just jumping at any moment. Look, I see this like crazy here in Indonesia. There are so many simps in Indonesia who give so much attention to women. It’s bonkers! It’s absolutely bonkers! So if you don’t do something like that, by default, already you are already standing out. The problem is if you completely ignore… If you don’t show any interest, a woman, yes, she wants to have a man who’s really exciting, who turns her on, who’s a little bit living out of his comfort zone, where it feels like an adventure, but if you show no interest to her, of course, a woman also wants to have a long-term relationship. She has to think a little bit about who she dates long term. And if it seems like you have no interest in her at all, right, you couldn’t give two shits about talking to her, then she knows that you’re just gonna dump her whenever it feels convenient to you. A lot of hot girls actually, most likely already got through a lot of alpha males, a lot of fuckboys. They can’t resist the temptation. It’s just what they do. And they probably been burned. And if they’ve been burned, they don’t want to get burned again.
Now, sometimes, they can’t resist and they will burn themselves again because it’s just in their nature. But they will think a little bit with their brain as well. And if they see that you give no fucks and you have no interest, then why would they talk to you? They want to feel excitement. You said it yourself: You had good chemistry and you know that feeling when you’re so excited to talk to someone and everything that they say is so interesting and you want to find out more about them? You have to keep that same chemistry but you have to reduce the pace of how often you message. So it’s not about showing no interest. It’s about showing interest less frequently. That is the big difference. What it sounds to me what you’ve been doing is basically yeah you’re trying to follow that advice… If you ignore her like a G, she will want the D. Well, the thing is, you have to be the right kind of G. If you’re just a G in the sense of I’m a narcissistic dick who gives zero fucks about anyone, including women, then you’re not gonna make any friends. Maybe you’ve read the book How To Win Friends and Influence People… In that book, it says you have to ask people questions. You have to show people that you’re interested in them for them to be interested in you.
So clearly, if you have zero interest in a woman, or if you show no interest in her, then she has no reason to be interested in you at all. You still have to show that you want to talk to her. If you need like two days to reply to a message, dude, it is so fucking annoying! There’s this girl in my DMs every now and then and she clearly has some kind of attraction to me. I’m not… She’s hot… Basically. I keep her in my DMs because she’s hot. But I don’t find her really interesting. But I can tell she she has so many DMs and she typically responds really slow. And so I’m like not putting much investing in it. If I ever meet up with her, I’m probably going to move to her area soon, somewhere else in Indonesia where she lives. And if we meet up and we hook up, that’s pretty good. But I’m not really interested or invested in her because she’s always like… I always get a message from her “I’m sorry for the late reply,” and I’m like yeah whatever. You know, the only reason why I entertain it or why I’m okay with it is because I don’t give a shit and she’s hot. But if I would be emotionally invested in her, I would never be interested in dating this woman because she always does the late replies. So whatever her reason is for the late replying, I don’t know, but she has some interest in me, but she’s also always like really incongruent and always probably juggling 10000 messages. So every now and then I message with her, but I’m basically not invested in her emotionally, because I get those… Not no-interest replies… But it’s that low interest… her frequency is just way too scarce. It’s almost never. And every now and then we chat back and forth and it’s like yeah, it’s like nice to chat with her, and she’s hot, and we get along well, but that’s it, basically, right. The same way a woman feels.
In the same way, if she doesn’t feel like there’s anything in it for her, she will just run away. Now, for me there’s something in it in that situation because she’s hot. I’m a guy. That’s what I care about. A woman wants to, though, feel that you care about her to some extent. If she can’t feel that at all, she’ll just run away. So you need to show her to some extent that you’re interested to find out more about her. Yes, you need to be focused on your purpose and get busy with your life, and then respond every now and then. What you should do is don’t use it as a game to not reply on purpose. What I would do is be busy with your life. Be busy with your job. Have a side hustle. Work on something to become amazing. And then every now and then when it is the right time, maybe you don’t reply every day. Sometimes maybe you wait until the next day, but it’s not because you do it on purpose. It’s because you just got busy and you couldn’t find the time to respond right now, and you find the time or you reply when you can find the time.
So it’s not about ignoring her on purpose. It’s more about ignoring the things that don’t serve your purpose. so sometimes a woman will get in the way of your purpose. Sometimes you gotta take care of some shit. So you ignore her because she’s not serving that higher purpose of yours. You focus on a higher purpose of yours, then you no longer ignore that thing… You know, you no longer ignore her, because now your purpose has been taken care of. Now you dedicate your time to her again. That that’s how you gotta look at it. So that’s my advice for you. I would not give up so quickly. I would try it with some less hot women. Keep on trying this for a month, two, three months. Try to see what works. If it then still doesn’t work, then you know what? Book a coaching session with me and we will try to figure out what doesn’t work. So that’s my advice for you. Let me know in the comments what do you think. Give me a thumbs up, subscribe to the channel, and never forget to unleash the king within.