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Watch the subtitled video above if you prefer to listen to my advice.
In today’s video, we’re gonna talk about hard to get women. What do you do when a woman is playing hard to get, especially what do you do if you know that she’s playing hard to get? So for example, women who are really hot, or sometimes also women who are slightly a little bit narcissistic, they might do this. And guess what? Well, the truth is: We all have a tiny little bit of narcissism within us. So playing hard to get is actually normal. And it’s also just very normal because women are told to play hard to get. They know that it works. They instinctively also probably figured out after a while that it works. So what do you do? And one thing that I think that is really important with a woman like this is that you apply some common sense, but also some common sex. Now, what do I mean with that? Well, we’ll see after we get into the message from a guy who is having the problem. So let’s see what do I mean by common sense / common sex.
Is A Woman Playing Hard To Get Worth It: When She’s Playing Hard To Get, How To Get Her Attention?
Hello Andy, what’s your take on dating a woman who is playing hard to get? Is there anything a guy can do to increase the attraction that a woman has for a man if she’s always a little bit out of reach? And I mean not in a simpy way. I don’t want to chase women and go down on my knees just to gain their attention. That’s not what I want. I want a give and take relationship. I understand that it’s possible to be less or more attracted when dating. I have the same feeling to certain types of women that I match with. So I get it.
Now, let me stop here. First of all, you have the right mindset. You should not be chasing them. You should not be a simp. And as you just said: It’s normal that you don’t feel attracted to everybody. Sometimes you are talking to a woman, right, and she just doesn’t interest you. The same thing happens with a woman and a man. A woman might talk to a guy and the reality is that a woman has probably at least five times more matches or more conversational partners than you do. So it’s a lot easier for her to say this guy doesn’t interest me, next! And yes, it’s always important to remind yourself that this has nothing to do with you. Sometimes, sure, it might have something to do with you, but often it’s just basically probabilities, essentially. It’s a numbers game, essentially. And sometimes if there are like five guys, then you already by default only have a 20% chance of succeeding with that woman. So that’s normal.
Now, your question is of course, what do you do when she’s playing hard to get? And my take on this is unless she is insanely hot, if she’s not seemingly a super high-quality woman, I would just not entertain this because it’s not worth the trouble. If she wants to play hard to get, fine, do it with someone else. You pull back. If she comes back then you might date again. Now, it is important to recognize though that I mentioned “seemingly” because a woman can be really hot, she can be super attractive, and maybe she also has her shit together. She has a good job. She seems intelligent. She seems smart. She is not really dumb. She is fun to talk to, but if she’s playing hard to get and she’s doing this very on purpose, then she might be a little bit too narcissistic or she might have some issues herself. Because ultimately, every woman wants to be in a healthy, happy relationship. And the reality is a woman who is, let’s just call her, very kind, very affectionate, very warm, she is not going to play these games. And any behavior that you would see from a woman like this, even if she pulls back, it’s natural. It’s her natural behavior. But she won’t just play hard to get to manipulate you. That’s shitty behavior. And I talk about this in my book. If you try to manipulate a woman, you’re no better than any woman who tries to manipulate you.
So that’s not a loving behavior. And you should never try to manipulate a woman. And if she manipulates you, or tries to manipulate you, it’s not the right woman for you. I would always rather date a woman who is really sweet, very friendly, has a really nice and warm heart, rather than dating a woman who seems hot and she seems really friendly as well, but there’s always that tint of deviousness, basically. Would you want to date a woman like this? Or rather, would you want to be with a woman like this for the next 10 years? 20 years? If you know that she’s kind of misleading, and devious, and likes to play games, and is not fully transparent, you probably don’t want to date this kind of woman. So you gotta be really careful where you draw the line. And for me, that line is basically if she’s not even hot enough. I will never even consider entertaining this because, why would I take the risk of dating a woman who’s hard to get if she doesn’t fit all the check boxes that I want? And one of the checkboxes that I have, that’s just me at least, I go for really hot women. Hot women, but they also have to have great character.
Women With Standards: Why Do Women Play Hard To Get And Is She Interested In You?
I am not blaming women when they’re not into me or when they are hard to get but I guess the question is how do we play the field? What can we do to have success with a woman who’s not so easy to get? Ironically, it’s those hard to get women whom I find intriguing and that’s probably exactly what they want to achieve lol. Still, I think some women do it as a manipulation tactic and then there are others who are just not readily available. I’d rather date a woman with standards than a woman who’s all over me, even though I haven’t even done anything yet, if you feel me?
Yeah, I feel you. That’s kind of the ironic psychology. We would rather date the woman who is really hard to get, who is just so hard to obtain, rather than the woman who really wants us like crazy. And I’ve gone down this hill myself. I’ve dated women who have been crazy into me. Almost seemingly too much into me. And then I rejected them and in retrospective, I told myself “Fuck why did I do that? That was really stupid!” and so you gotta be careful with this mindset because I talk about this all the time. Of course, you wanna be with a woman who goes crazy for you. Well, not crazy. She is a 10 out of a 10 in terms of attraction. That said, she’s not a 15 out of 10. That would be crazy, obviously. If she goes crazy, she is just super clingy, and she can’t control herself, no emotional self-control, that is too much.
But you gotta draw the line and say if she’s really into me, and she’s just in a sense crazy for you. She just wants to spend every minute with you, as much as she can. That is a great woman to have, of course, and I would rather take that woman versus a woman who’s playing hard to get. So sometimes we are just victims of our minds, of our psychology, and you gotta be really careful with this. Obviously, if a woman is playing hard to get or she is hard to get, there’s an upside that most likely she is very grounded. She’s very secure. She’s not insecure. That is attractive. So you gotta evaluate is she playing hard to get on purpose? Is it manipulative? Or is she just a little bit hard to get? IS she hard to get because she has high standards. Like you said: That’s the point. You have to distinguish between a woman who has high standards and a woman who has no standards and she’s just playing you, basically. So anyway, with that said…
Dating A Beautiful Woman: An Attractive Woman Desired By Many Men Is Usually A Hard To Get Woman
So anyway, I met this really stunning woman a month ago. Absolutely gorgeous, quite laid back, not a crazy feminist. She’s a reasonable and smart woman.
I’m just gonna pause here quickly. If she’s not a crazy feminist, she’s probably already a keeper, but we probably need to evaluate everything about her, but this is just a quick commentary that I want to make for guys. I have to make a video about this at some point. You should never date a crazy feminist because they are just batshit crazy. They are completely irrational. They have no logic and they’re going to cause so many problems in the relationship. So yeah, she’s not a crazy feminist. That is actually a good point.
She’s got a lot of good things going for her. She’s actually fairly famous. She’s got 70000 followers on Instagram and has a fashion label. I want to make it work with her but she’s much harder to nail down, figuratively and literally lol.
You want to get inside there. Well, obviously she’s hard to nail down because if she has 70000 followers, she’s high on her own supply, basically. She knows that she can have many guys. And she’s gonna play the field. She’s gonna figure out who is the right guy for her. And she’s not just gonna say yes to every guy. There’s this is really great the song from Niki… Niki… What’s her name. Niki Zefanya, or something like that, I think. Niki Zefanya. So, well, she’s this Asian girl. She’s very famous. Probably the most famous Asian artist right now. She has really great music, actually, and in one of her songs she thinks about the fact that now she’s really famous and she could have everybody, and the irony is she just wants that one guy that she dumped, the guy who she didn’t want back anymore. And that’s a really interesting line in that song because that shows you that no matter how popular a woman is, yes, she can be high on her own supply but she also wants to be very conscious with her choices. And she wants that one special guy. And as we can see in that one song… I’ll put the link maybe in the description of that song. It’s a really good song. It’s an ironic song. Maybe not everybody likes that song but I like the song.
And she basically talks about the fact that she just wants that one guy. So no matter how famous a woman can be, of course, she wants to have that one special guy. And they’re always on the outlook for the one special guy, and of course, when she is single, she will be very selective. And even though she is that famous and it should be incredibly easy for her to just date any kind of guy, it is not that easy, because just because she’s famous doesn’t mean that she’s not also human. It’s a weird dynamic. Because on one side, she’s super famous and on the surface she could have everybody. The problem is she doesn’t want everybody. So this is why a lot of these women are always very single, or single very long. They’re very single, yes. They’re very single. They stay single for a very long time. And they can’t make up their minds. In a way, they have choice paralysis. They don’t know who to choose. And so obviously, because of that, you’ve got to be the best choice. But if it becomes too hard, then you just gotta walk away from that. Maybe it’s not her fault. Maybe she’s just overwhelmed with all the choices she has and you can’t change that. If that is the case, well, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna stick around if she can’t make up her mind forever? No, of course not. At some point, you gotta walk away, right? That is the only thing that’s good for you. But anyway, let’s continue what you say, because you want to figuratively and literally nail her down. You want to have your fun.
Girl Cold After First Date: Is She Playing Hard To Get Or Not Interested? Did You Try To Seduce Her?
We went on a date but after that one date, she has been kind of evading my attempt of going out with her again for a second date. I don’t know if I’m being too needy or pushy with her. She probably has a lot of admirers but I try not to be one of the simp admirers who message her non-stop or give her everything she wants. It’s obvious that she’s famous with the guys. She posts fashion reels quite often and they get a ton of views and comments by guys. I think if I can manage to go on a second date with her, that might be my last shot to take a step forward with her, but I don’t know how to get it done. I guess if a woman is hard to get she’s already not into you or she has so many choices that she’s deliberately trying to figure out who’s a weak needy man.
Don’t you think so? So it’s a contradiction. If you show her that you want her, you’ll be needy, but if you don’t show her that you want her, she won’t be into you, right? Maybe it’ll raise her attraction initially but you can’t be disinterested in her either so fuck man, dating is seriously confusing! What do I do with her? I’m not sure if I should wait or if I should ask her out? You mentioned before in your videos that you dated models. So maybe you can give me your advice. She’s not a model but she’s hot and she’s totally flexing with her IG reels and I bet she likes the attention and validation. Looking forward to hear your thoughts.
So yeah, I bet she loves the validation. That is basically the key. If you want to date models, you don’t give them any fucking validation whatsoever. Now, that sounds bad because obviously, you gotta give the woman that you love or the woman that you’re courting, you gotta give her validation. You gotta show her that you appreciate her. And at some point you’ve gotta show it to her, of course, but right now is not the time, because clearly, she’s not into you. The thing that I can tell you is that if you are paying too much attention to a hot woman like this, she will ignore you. But I can tell you one thing: The hot women that I ignore… Or not ignore… But I just don’t message them all the time… I recently talked to a girl who I hooked up with, who’s really hot, and when we started messaging again, she told me that she’s gonna be here in Bali soon. And so we’re gonna have some fun, most likely, and she told me that she doesn’t really know what’s going on with my life anymore. She hasn’t heard from me. I’m basically a mystery to her. And that’s the kind of way how you gotta do it.
And then, what you gotta do next is you gotta apply, well, this is why I said common sense and common sex. You gotta have sex with her. Because if you wanna seduce a woman like this, the only way how this works is with sex. Because ultimately, she has so many guys in her inbox always wanting to date her. She has so many choices. So many options. She could just flick a finger & she could get laid every single day of the week, probably three times if she wanted to, but just like Niki in that song, she’s super famous, she has like millions of followers, and her songs are super famous. She does really good music, by the way, I definitely recommend checking out her songs. They are in English, really good stuff. And just like Niki, who is so famous, she would rather have that one guy who broke her heart than dating all of these simps, or all these guys who are chasing her. So it’s all about that attachment. It’s about those bonds. Once you have sex once, twice, thrice, at that point she builds up her bonds. Her emotional bonds to you. And at that point, she will probably not leave anymore.
At/ that point, she will most likely go crazy for you because if you are playing it really cool and you don’t care that she’s playing hard to get, if you play it really cool when she pulls away a little bit… That’s really unique because any woman who’s so attractive, I know exactly what you mean… She’s posting reels on IG, so I don’t know how it is like where you’re from… You’re probably from the US based on my demographics but I am currently in Bali so I get lots of IG reels and so I’m in Southeast Asia… So I get reels from Thai chicks. Mostly Thai chicks, or Indonesian chicks. And especially Thai chicks, but also Indonesian chicks, they are super hot. Thai chicks are probably the hottest chicks, at least for Asian chicks in Southeast Asia. They’re just incredibly attractive. And I see these reels all the time. And there is just so much attention on these women. They can have any guy they wanted. The problem is that a lot of the guys that they would want the most, they are already taken. So on the surface it seems like they can have any guy, but they want that special guy with high standards. That guy is actually not that easy to obtain. So you gotta be the high standards guy. Just like you said you want the woman who has high standards.
So that’s how you get a woman like this. You gotta play it really cool and you just connect with them basically very infrequently. You’re not chasing them. And quite frankly, it’s her who chases you. If you don’t get her to chase you, if you don’t get a hot woman like this to chase you, who also plays a little bit hard to get, then there is no chance whatsoever. And let’s not forget what I said that you also got to be careful that she’s not manipulating you. That she’s not doing this on purpose just to feed her ego, right. So if she posts these reels and she gets so many views, then she knows her worth, her value with her body. And some women… Guess what? Some hot women, they are actually very insecure. And this is why they dress hot. It’s why they wear so much makeup. And why they showcase their body so much. A lot of women do NOT do that. And you got to be careful because there’s also a lot of women who don’t do this kind of stuff. Who don’t showcase their body so much. And they’re really sweet. And they’re also hot. And they’re also a great fuck.
So you pointed out earlier that you figuratively and literally wanted to nail them. So I just want to point out that as great as these hot women seem on the surface, I always say this… Pussy is pussy, and a woman who is not that hot, or seemingly is not that hot… When you undress her, she will be just as hot as that woman who has a lot of makeup, has the right camera that makes her look good, the right lighting, and all that stuff. If I take away this lighting here, I’ll look really bad. My camera is pretty shit with my phone right now. I’m about to buy a new camera soon. So I will look better and better than I probably look in person. It’s probably in the eye of the beholder, or it’s subjective, but you got to be careful and not be so tempted by what you see on social media. Actually, because those are the highlights. It’s what you see roughly on every my videos, that’s what I look like, but if I would make a snapshot soon on IG for some motivational posts or something like that, I will probably look better. I will have a better angle. I’ll just make sure that I look the best on those shots, obviously. So the woman will do the same thing. And so you got to be careful because there are so many great hot women out there.
And a lot of them don’t play these games. So just be a little bit careful here. But as I said: Be cool, don’t chase at all, and especially with these model types of women, if you give them validation, it’s basically over. Instead, you gotta be really playful with them and show them that you’re not too scared to say something really naughty with them. I learned that it really works to be very naughty with these models because most guys are actually not willing to do that, or rather the only guys who are willing to do that are basically the perverts and the losers. The ones who just lack self-awareness. But if you flirt a little bit and you do it with self-awareness, it really turns them on. So you gotta play this really slowly. You gotta play it cool. And at some point, if you reach that certain threshold, they will go crazy for you. And then you just fuck them, and you fuck them, and you fuck them, and they will love it. And that’s how you do it. So that is my advice for you. Let me know in the comments what you think. Give me a thumbs up, subscribe to the channel, and never forget to unleash the king within.