Watch the subtitled video above if you prefer to listen to my advice.
In today’s video, we’re gonna talk about shit tests, called that way because they are full of shit. So there are certain tests that women do with men that often seem like they’re just making no sense. Why are you throwing this test at me? Why are you trying to test if I approve of your opinion? Why are you trying to test if I’m looking for your validation? And sometimes this can really drive you crazy, because you’re just thinking why are you making it so hard for me? And my take on this is twofold.
When A Woman Tests You: Shit Tests Are Often A Sign That She’s Into You
These kinds of shit tests, they are good and they’re also bad. They show you that she’s into you because if she wouldn’t care about you, then she would never be shit testing you. If she doesn’t give a shit about you, guess what? She’s not gonna throw any shit at you. She won’t give a shit. She won’t test you. So in that sense, it’s a sign that she’s actually into you. All you gotta do is pass her tests. That’s cool.
On the other side of the coin, shit tests can sometimes be a sign of narcissism. So sometimes, a woman is just testing you way too much and it is so annoying. And if she’s doing it too much then she’s probably narcissistic, and she just likes the game. She just likes to play around. She’s not really respecting you. She doesn’t care about you. She just wants to see “How much can I manipulate you? How much can I play you? How much can I use you?” And if a woman can use you, or if she can manipulate you, in general, that doesn’t just account for narcissistic women, but women in general, then she will have no interest in you. If she can manipulate you and if she is narcissistic and she just wants to use you, then it’s probably giving her a thrill. It’s like she can see how much power she has. So let’s see. I have an advice. I have a video from a guy who is dealing with a lot of shit tests. Let’s see which one is it. Is it the woman who is actually into him and she’s just testing him? Or is it the narcissistic kind of woman? So let’s jump straight into his message.
Dating An Attractive Woman: Why Do Women Constantly Test Men? She Got Plenty Of Options!
Hi coach, I’ve got a lot of shit to throw at you. Shittests, to be precise. I have a situation with a woman who’s shit testing me a lot and I’m very torn right now about how I respond to the situation. Mainly because she’s hot AF.
That’s pretty common. If the woman is really hot, then she will shit test you because if she’s really hot, then there are so many guys who actually want her, and if there are so many guys that want her, then she’s not going to say yes to everybody. She’s going to make sure that she only dates the most secure men. The point of a shit test is for her to figure out how insecure or secure are you? If she throws something stupid at you, are you gonna become insecure and feel like really weak and needy? Are you going to cower in fear? Or are you just going to stand tall? Shoulders, chest out. And you’re like… Whatever! “I don’t care! You can throw anything you want at me. Here, I’ll take it. I’m not gonna waiver. No problem! I’ll just call you out on your bullshit. Or I will just reply with no problems to your questions.”
So for example, a woman might get mad that you didn’t make time for her last night, and then she’ll try to shit test you and see if you are giving her affection. And the weak, needy guy might say “Sorry, baby, I’m really sorry. I didn’t make time for you. I will call you very often.” … Stuff like that. That’s what a weak and needy guy would do. A very confident guy who’s grounded, who doesn’t give a shit about her shit test, he will say “I’m sorry babe, you were missing me last night? I’m so sorry that I couldn’t make it. You know what? I’ll make it up to you tomorrow, okay? Why don’t we go out and go to the movies, for example? Let’s go have some dinner. Let’s go to the park.” You won’t give a shit. You just acknowledge what she said. There will be no insecurity and he will just give her what she wants as long as the compromise is, of course, reasonable. So there are basically different ways how you can respond to a shit test and the woman wants to see obviously that you respond to it in a secure way. So make sure that you’re always congruent, and strong, and confident with your responses with a woman.
It’s just like for example, if you would have a boss who likes to push people around, he will only push around the people that he knows he can push around. Or she can push around. So for example, if you’re at a company and your superior is a total dick and you’re not taking any of this… If they say something or try to ask you to do something that is just inappropriate, you would just say “No, I’m sorry, I can’t do it. I’m busy right now,” whereas the weak and needy person might cower in fear again, and say “At what time do you need it to get done?” … Who do you think is going to be respected more by that shit boss? And who won’t get all of these shitty requests in the future? Of course, it’s the confident person. It’s the same thing with women. If you’re confident, if you show that these shit tests don’t bother you, then she won’t throw them at you repeatedly. She will just throw a few shit tests at you here and there to see that you got what it takes to make her happy. Then after that, she will, for the most part, probably stop it, unless she feels insecure in the relationship. Anyway, let’s continue.
Passing Her Tests: What To Do When A Woman Tests You And How To Keep Your Cool
She’s hot AF and she’s also a really interesting woman. She has a good career as a teacher at the most prestigious private college in the country. She’s got her shit together, basically, and maybe that’s why she’s throwing shit tests at me. Because someone like her must have countless secret or not-so-secret admirers.
We’ve been getting to know each other for about two months now. Dating infrequently without a proper rhythm to it. I guess, overall things are good. It’s fun, flirty, lighthearted, but she shit tests me. And I can tell she’s doing it. I’m not a simp. I’m not one of those guys who bullshits himself about women. I can tell when something’s weird and yeah, she’s throwing tests at me. Last week she totally asked me on purpose for my opinion on which dress fits her better. Lol man… She sent me two dresses and one was just ugly AF and she said that one is her favorite one. No way that was an honest question. I think she wanted to fish if I was going to disapprove of her opinion and yeah, I did, because hell no… That dress was so shitty… I legit told her that the one she likes really doesn’t look good, and I think the other one makes her look much better. A part of me wanted to just be a yes-man, but I couldn’t. It was just too extreme LOL.
That is the right approach. So everybody who’s listening to this and who doesn’t know how to deal with shit tests, sometimes you get kind of cornered like how do you respond to shit test? He’s done it quite right. She wears this really shitty dress and what’s he supposed to say? No, this dress looks good? No, of course not. If it looks really fucking ugly, then why would he say that this dress looks good on her? And I don’t know if you did this intentionally, but he did it quite well. He sneaked his way out of there. If you would have said no, this looks really ugly, or you look really ugly in this, she would have been really upset, but instead, he said “I don’t like this dress. It doesn’t make you look good. But the other one makes you look really good.”
So first of all, he gave her a compliment. He didn’t try to offend her. And then he also basically stood his ground. He just said “Look, this dress is just fucking ugly. Why would you wear that??” … I mean he didn’t say it like that, but that’s basically what he was communicating. So he did it right, because that way, she can tell he’s not trying to gain my approval. Obviously, she knows this dress is really unattractive. Why would she even send it to you. She knows clearly, I mean she’s a woman. She should have better taste than you. If she doesn’t have better taste than you, then you’re dating the wrong woman, quite frankly, but I think that this is not the case because she’s got her shit together and she’s a hot woman. So she must be dressed nicely all the time. So clearly, it’s a shit test. It is a shit test & you’ve handled this one quite well. And so let’s see what you say further.
Constantly Getting Shit Tested: What To Do When A Girl Plays You And Won’t Stop Testing Your Confidence
Now hold up. I know that sounds like I’m overreacting but she does small nearly indistinguishable shit tests like this every now and then. She often likes to challenge my opinion on something. Like where we’re gonna eat. And she’ll try to make me bend to her opinion. I think in total she’s been testing me at least seven times since I’ve gotten to know her. Now, I will say though that she has never flaked on me, so at least she is consistent, but I can definitely feel her resistance towards me and I’m feeling like it’s not a good thing. I think she’s not into me enough probably because she’s got lots of guys who want to fuck her.
We’re not exclusive, so she’s probably talking to other guys as well, and I’m not sure if I should let it go. Do you think a woman like this is not worth it? What’s your experience with this? Is it maybe better to just date a woman who never shit tests you, or how do you feel about this? I’m feeling not necessarily exhausted but definitely, a little bit challenged with her. So what do you think? Is she worth it given that she’s like a 9 out of 10 in terms of attractiveness and a 10 out of 10 with her career? Thanks for the input.
My take is that it really depends. If she is just smoking hot, then you just gotta expect those shit tests. However, if she’s not that hot, then you gotta think twice. I still remember when I was new in the Philippines. So many women looked attractive to me, but honestly, I didn’t have good taste yet, so Asian women looked very new to me. So I didn’t know what is an attractive Asian woman and when I got there, a lot of women looked attractive to me, but in retrospect, I realized that the first ex that I dated, she was not that attractive and she threw a lot of shit tests at me. She was always angry. She was always kind of causing drama. This kind of stuff. But I thought that she was really hot. But she really wasn’t that hot and so if she would have been really hot and of course, you deal with those shit tests because you think with your dick, right? So like okay, you know what? I will forgive you for those shit tests if I can make you my girlfriend for the long term. Sure, why not. I think actually it shows you that she’s into you.
Right now you know this woman seems to be at least based on your scale, what you say, she’s a 9 out of 10, a 10 out of 10, so she must be almost a full package. So it’s very normal that she’s going to test you. And it’s actually a good thing because if she’s testing you, then she’s most likely also testing the other guys. Now, the other guys are probably not as secure as you are. You seem to have your shit together and you don’t give a shit if she asks you like “Hey, I want to eat here. Or let’s eat here,” and then she changes her opinion. Or you change your opinion. No, you don’t do any of this shit. You’re just like very direct what you want. You express what you feel and what you think about her. Or like how she looks like today. These kinds of things. So that’s secure. So because of that she can trust you.
Now, of course, if that would continue forever, at some point, you got to recognize she’s not stopping the shit tests and she’s just using this. She’s playing mind games. She’s manipulative. She’s really devious. And she’s always confrontational. At that point, you gotta walk away. But I would still give this some more time. I don’t think that there’s necessarily yet an indication that she’s narcissistic. But yes, if it is a repetitive pattern that happens over and over in a long-term relationship, at that point I would just walk away because it’s just not worth it. Now, I don’t have any indicators yet that she is that type of woman. And you know, you didn’t have any mentions here, any indicators that suggest that she’s just a really toxic woman. Not really. She seems to be well-rounded, got a good career, and she is hot as well. She’s funny, probably, you have a good time with her. So overall, it seems like there’s no problem, right? So my suggestion to you is try this out a little bit more. Of course, the goal is to be boyfriend and girlfriend, to have sex, to be a couple, and then become a long-term couple.
Obviously, now if you can’t get there after maybe one or two more months, then I would let it go, and then of course, if you become a couple, and you see this over and over, then I would also set some clear boundaries. You probably have to tell her in the relationship what you want from her and what you don’t want from her. Maybe she’s always getting her way because she is so hot. So a lot of guys are always seeking approval and they’re always bending to her will. Maybe you got to teach her that look you can do this with some weak beta male, but you can’t do this with me. And if she is a normal, healthy woman, and she just basically has been taught by everyday life that she can do this all the time, then she might actually appreciate it when you put her in her place. I’m not saying that you have to do this. It’s only something that you know, if it happens, if it continues, then you gotta put her in her place. And that might in fact, even possibly turn her on.
So I wouldn’t be too worried at this point. I think it’s actually a good thing that she’s shit testing you right now. She hasn’t given you too many shit tests. Seven shit tests, okay, it’s slowly climbing up here. The number. It might be getting annoying at some point. Now it just feels challenging. I think once you feel like it’s annoying, at that point I would just stop chasing her, stop dating her, but if it’s just a challenge, if you feel like she’s not doing it too much yet, then why would you stop if it’s worth it? If she’s really attractive, and she’s really funny, and smart, and all of that, then I mean, with hot women, sometimes you just gotta take these risks. And if you don’t want to take these risks, of course, that’s fine, but then you just gotta expect that you probably won’t date such a hot woman, because these kinds of women will often shit test.
Now, I’ll be straightforward with you: Not every woman shittests, and not even every hot woman shit tests, but it does happen quite often. So you just gotta accept that, or you just date a hot woman who does not shit test if it’s just too annoying to you. I personally probably wouldn’t deal with too many shit tests. I’m just very straightforward at this point. For me personally, I think seven probably might be like the limit where I would say this is too much to me. But if you don’t have a problem with it right now, then look, go for it! I can’t tell you who to be and what to be like. If right now you can still tolerate this and it’s fine, and if it turns out to be a problem, if she turns out to be a problem, or a troublemaker in the future, I think it’s still important that you learn a lesson here and learn okay this was the threshold that I couldn’t go past, and never again.
So I still think it’s worth dating her. You got to be a little bit careful here, of course, but I think you’re very direct with what you want and what you expressed to her, so I think you should be fine. But I think there would be no harm done if you would date another woman on the side, or just be open on being on Tinder and Bumble, or something like that, because you never know… Maybe she is a little bit too much work. And there might be some merit, and just getting a little bit of perspective, and dating one more woman, maybe she’s just equally hot but just a little bit easier to be with. So maybe you want to get a little bit of variety just so that you have a little bit more perspective. All right, so that’s my advice. It never hurts, actually it never hurts to date multiple women, and in a case like this, where you’re in doubt, it’s probably a good idea to date one more woman. All right, so that’s my advice for you. Let me know in the comments what you think. Give me a thumbs up, subscribe to the channel, and never forget to unleash the king within.
