Watch the subtitled video above if you prefer to listen to my advice.
In today’s video we’re going to talk about when is the time to end the relationship? Should you end the relationship? Is your relationship actually on bad terms or not? And this is also a very nice case study of a guy who started watching my channel very early on when I was very new with my channel.
So roughly in August-ish of 2021 and he came to my channel because he wanted his ex back. But as he watched my channel, he realized his worth and he realized that he deserves a better woman. So it’s a good case study of a man who is now with a woman who is much better than the one that he used to date before. But he’s not really sure about how things are going. Is everything okay? But I think the woman that he’s dating is okay. Actually, she’s actually quite healthy I would say. But they have some problems here and there but I don’t think that they’re big. But he thinks they are big. So let’s get into the situation. Let’s see what is my take on it.
Hey coach, you’re an absolute king. First of all, I want to say a big thank you for your channel. It has helped me a lot. I started watching your channel when it was just a few weeks old and I’ve been a silent listener for some time. Your content has helped me a lot with soothing my anxiety about my last ex.
So first of all, thanks a lot for watching for so long. Kudos of course, also for embracing the king mantra, or the king mindset, the branding that I have with my channel. This is why I do this channel. It’s all about unleashing the king within. And you say it quite nicely here. My content has helped you to soothe your anxiety. My channel, even though I have a lot of breakup videos, are not about getting an ex back. Yes, if you get an ex back, that is nice! But in this case, for example, your ex was actually not so good as we’re gonna go through this video. And the fact that you soothed your ego, soothed your anxiety, soothed all the pain that you’ve been dealing with due to the breakup…
Because of that, you were able to find another woman. Everybody watching this channel should focus on this. Yes, if you binge my videos about getting an ex back, these will help you with your ex, but that’s not what it is about. It’s about helping you to find back to your inner peace because when you have inner peace, any woman wants to be with you. Whether that’s your ex, or a new woman that you’ve just met, or a woman on Tinder, or in a bar. It doesn’t matter where you meet her. If you’re a king and you radiate positivity, in that moment, any woman wants you because she can see it’s obvious that you’re the right choice for her. Because there are a lot of men who do not radiate positivity. It’s very important! So let’s continue.
Surprisingly, I started dating a new girl after listening to your advice. That was never the plan but I became less dependent on my ex and found a new girl who is way more mature than my last ex. My ex was really jealous and it’s strange that I wanted her back so much lol. That girl I am with right now is really great. There is way less drama with her but I am a bit concerned about us. We’ve been dating for almost half a year now and overall everything is good, but I have a weird feeling that she’s getting frustrated with me and that she’s not happy with me.
So this is a nice reality check for anybody who’s watching this. He said his ex was really jealous and you can’t believe that he actually wanted her back. When you just have a breakup, even if your ex is very toxic, you want her. Whether she’s a narcissist or just has a lot of trauma and doesn’t know how to handle and to communicate well in a relationship, it doesn’t matter! You still love her and you still want her back because of something called the trauma bond. So no matter how bad the breakup is, most of the time, if you are anxiously attached, at least you definitely want her back and so he basically got a reality check that this woman was not that great for him and by focusing on himself rather than on his ex, he actually met another woman who is not crazy jealous. So he basically upgraded his dating life. So that is something that you should take away from this video. Sometimes one door closes, another one opens.
Maybe your ex comes back in the future. Maybe she also changed. But the bottom line is you should be with the best woman for you. That is your ex, or another woman. It could also be your ex who changed herself, or maybe it was you who needed to change himself, but the bottom line is you should be with a woman who makes you happy. And he’s now with a woman who makes him much happier. And he says that overall things are pretty good but he has a weird feeling that she’s getting frustrated and that is actually a good thing. The fact that you can figure out there’s something wrong here, she’s feeling frustrated or she’s not 100% happy, something’s bothering her… That’s a good thing!
Because that means you’re paying attention. It would be much worse if you wouldn’t notice that there’s something wrong. No relationship is perfect. So you’ve been dating for six-ish months, I guess, and there’s always going to be some problems in any relationship. So the fact that you’re paying attention to it and noticing it means that you can address it. That is perfect. So let’s see where it goes and why you’re so worried.
A week ago she sat me down and I really freaked out. Before that, she sent me a message saying ‘we need to talk’ which had my alarm bells ringing.
Well, yeah, it never sounds good when a woman says “we need to talk” but let’s see what she means with that.
When I met her at her place I asked her if she’s breaking up with me and she said in anger ‘No?! Why would I be breaking up with you???’ and then she basically continued telling me about some of the issues she has with me which roughly speaking is that I’m too messy and disorganized both at my place and also in my behavior.
So obviously, we need to talk does not sound nice but she says it very clearly… What the fuck??? Why would I be breaking up with you? So what’s going on here is she’s trying to tell you something that she doesn’t like. It doesn’t mean that she wants to break up. Any guy who is watching this who thinks that every relationship needs to be perfect, that is not the case. If a woman tells you what she doesn’t like and she tells you so in a loving way, not very critical, that is actually a sign of a functional relationship that can improve and get better.
So you shouldn’t be worried about this and if I look at what you’re telling me here, you basically said or she said that you are too disorganized not just probably at your place and stuff like that, but also in your entire behavior. That resonates actually a lot with me. I used to be like this many, many years ago. I have this funny story. A lot of women they are very organized with everything. With how they clean up. They have journals. They organize their thoughts. They reflect on things. They make clear plans when they go on a trip, for example.
They’ll say “We’re going on a trip on Friday. Where are we gonna go? Where are we gonna get tickets? What time do we leave? What bus are we gonna take? Where are we gonna stay?” and so on so forth. Whereas men take a lot more risks. So that is a big behavior difference between men and women. Men just don’t give so many fucks! We like to take risks. We don’t care if it’s not 100% organized. We don’t care if we wing it. I have this memory from a few years back when I was on a trip with an ex of mine and we were going on a trip to a surf beach and it was holidays and we basically didn’t get tickets and I will never forget this day we had to wait for the bus for like six, seven hours or something like that. And I’m a person who can’t sleep when I’m not sleeping in a bed. And so we were at this bus station forever and ever since then, I became a little bit more organized. I’m still a bit of a messy guy but I learned the value of this skill that women have to not take so many risks, because sometimes winging it works perfectly, and sometimes it doesn’t.
And so women don’t like this behavior. Women don’t want to take that risk of “Hey, let’s wing it, and then let’s see what happens” because women on average are not risk takers. So she doesn’t like this part about you. So you should probably see about how can you tweak your behavior in small ways here and there. I’m not telling you that you should become crazy Mr. Organized and crazy Mr. Clean and everything’s super tidy. If you would be looking around my room right now where I record, it’s a total freaking mess! It’s crazy! Thank God that you can’t see it. And that’s not what she wants. She just wants you to make a little bit of an effort.
So for example, you don’t have to be super organized with having your calendar set. Like “This is what my schedule is gonna be like. This is what I’m gonna do the whole day,” and all of these things. No, she just wants to have a little bit of effort here and there. So for example, maybe you’re not always on time, or maybe you’re a little bit unreliable with what you say and do. So for example, you say we’re gonna meet up at this time, but then you still have to take care of something. So this is disorganized behavior, realistically, it’s just small stuff here and there that you need to tweak and as I said: The fact that she’s telling you this is actually a good thing. So here comes the reason why he’s actually anxious about this.
So that doesn’t give me a lot of confidence right now and I think that there’s trouble on the horizon and I don’t know what to do. I obviously don’t want her to break up with me because she’s amazing. She’s a much better girlfriend than the last relationship but now I’m thinking if we’re not right for each other. I saw this video of yours a while ago in which you said that it is not a good sign if there are already problems at the beginning of the relationship when it’s still in the infatuation phase. I know I’m not making any sense. Am I weird?
I’m afraid of her breaking up with me and at the same time, I’m thinking if she’s right to have issues with me. Is it a bad sign that we’re already having problems? What would you suggest for the two of us to do to move forward in the best way? Thanks. I hope this makes it a video. I know this isn’t your typical type of channel content so if you make a video I’ll be grateful forever. You’re an absolute king.
So you’re welcome. Obviously, I made a video about this and it’s okay. I like variety and it’s very important to get different angles about relationships because if you only focus on how to get an ex back, then you’re never going to learn how to actually keep an ex or keep another woman in the future. That is the actual crucial part. Getting ex back is fucking pointless if you don’t know how to maintain a healthy relationship. So like he said, he’s scared because she’s having issues after roughly six months and essentially they are in the infatuation phase.
So what that means is the hormones are high and anything he or she does shouldn’t bother them. This phase typically lasts on average 6, 12, 18 months. It depends of course from person to person, but on average it’s roughly 18 months. It could be a little bit shorter. It could be a little bit longer. But does that mean just because you’re in the infatuation phase where it’s a lot about lust and falling in love, it’s not so much about attachment yet, it’s more about sex, lust, love, falling in love…
So it’s about those high peak intense emotions. This magical feeling that we all know. And should there be no problems during this phase? No, that is unrealistic. Imagine if you’re together with a woman and there’s just something that she clearly doesn’t like. If she doesn’t like disorganized behavior, then no matter what you do, no matter how much she loves you, no matter how much she adores you, no matter how often you have sex in the day or in the week, she’s still gonna notice that you’re not organized. That is not a bad thing. What I meant with that is if you’re constantly fighting, if you have constant struggles, constant battles, if you constantly don’t get along, then you’re basically not on cloud nine and you’re fighting more than you are in love. That is a really bad sign if you’re in the infatuation phase.
But I’m not seeing any signs here that you are not in the infatuation phase. I do think that she’s happy with you. She’s just telling you this small little detail here that she would like you to address. A little bit. And like I said, I don’t think she wants a huge gigantic change. She just wants you to pay attention to the things that matter to her. And the fact that she’s telling you lovingly without any drama, that is a really good thing. So what I suggest to you is because you’re asking “What should I do? Should I be breaking up with her? Is this bad?“… No, I don’t think this is bad at all. Actually, quite frankly, I think this is good because this can actually be your foundation for a strong relationship because now you can set the ground rules. You’ve been together for roughly half a year, and there is a little bit of a problem here, but it’s not a big one, and these tweaks are really small details. You don’t have to become Mr Perfect. She just wants you to become Mr Paying Attention. That’s what she cares about. And as long as you pay attention to her, she’s going to trust you. And a woman who trusts discovers her lust. It’s all about figuring out what she actually wants.
Another thing that I have is couples who stay curious will not become furious. So it’s all about understanding. What does she want? And she’s telling you that. So by paying attention to that and listening to “This is what she wants from you,” you can figure out your small tiny behavior changes that make her so happy, and so if we look at her, for example, if she’s very organized and she likes organized behavior, then maybe just maybe one of her love languages might be acts of service. So maybe she likes it when you do small stuff here and there that shows her that you’re taking action for her. That you’re doing something nice for her. That could be sweeping the floor. That could be bringing out the trash. It could be running an errand for her. That could be a massage for her.
That could be as I said organizing the trip of yours, or making sure that the bus ticket is booked, or the flight is booked. Small things here and there. You just have to sprinkle these little details every now and then, and that will make her happy because the reason why most relationships fail is because you take it so for granted over time and you stop doing something nice for your girlfriend, and then she doesn’t feel valued anymore. She doesn’t feel appreciated. She feels like you’re just with her to have sex basically and she feels like she’s an object to you. And any woman wants to be cherished. Any woman wants to know that she’s valuable. That she’s appreciated. That she’s beautiful. That she’s worth loving. That’s what any woman cares about because deep in her heart, any woman, no matter how hard-working she is, no matter how ambitious she is, wants to know: “Am I lovable? Am I worth loving?” And that’s what you have to show her and she’s giving you a signal. Show me that I am lovable! And she’s not doing this in any toxic ways. She’s just giving you a little pointer.
So that’s a good thing. So do not break up, definitely do not break up with this woman. I think you are in a much better spot right now than before. Look at your ex before. She was batshit crazy. I assume she was jealous and this woman is no drama. She even told you what she doesn’t like in a very normal way. No drama. No drama attached. Think about that. That is a great woman to be with. And anyone who is watching this video right now should take this by heart. If your ex was like this, there was a lot of drama, a lot of fighting, a lot of reasons why she got upset, you should think twice before you date her again. And like this guy, there is actually merit in dating other women and discovering that maybe there’s another woman out there for you who is better for you.
“My ex was great. I learned some great lessons from her but now it’s time to climb the ladder. Level up. Find a true queen who makes me happy.”
Because you are a king even if some of you don’t feel like it right now, if you’re watching this video because you came because of my ex back videos, you are a king! Unleash the king within! Value yourself and be with a woman who freaking loves you and who will go the extra mile and tell you in loving ways “Hey, this is what I need from you,” and then when you give it to her, she will fucking fuck your brains out! That’s what you want. That’s what I want for you. That’s what I want for every man. Alright, so that was my advice for you. Let me know in the comments what you think. Give me a thumbs up, subscribe to the channel, and never forget to unleash the king within.