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Watch the subtitled video above if you prefer to listen to my advice.
In today’s video, we’re gonna talk about women who come back. They always come back. I’ve had at least one or two videos already with the title. I had one video about no contact with an ex. They always come back. She will always come back.
Exes Always Come Back: Their Dating Struggles Are Why They Come Back When You Stop Caring
Exes always come back, but also just girls that you’ve dated in the past. They will always come back. Okay, this sounds a bit hyperbolic, but I would say 95% of the time, they will come back at least once to test out the waters, to check if you might have improved, or if you’re no longer insecure, if something about you has just changed in general, and they want to evaluate… “Okay, I really liked you, and let’s see if I can date you again,” and the reason why that happens is because we are all not that special. You’re not special. I’m not special. She’s not special. All the other guys that she’s meeting are not special.
What I mean by that is there is not that one person who is a non-plus ultra version of a man that she would want to date. These kinds of guys, they are just one in a million. They’re just really hard to come by. So you can’t settle for that one-in-a-million man, or one-in-a-million woman. You gotta settle for the one in a thousand. It’s just the reality. Otherwise, you would never be dating any women, or any men. And so women, they always have so many options with men, and they think this guy, this new option is better than you, for example, but he’s not a one in a million man. It didn’t work out. He’s probably not even a one out of a thousand. He’s like a one out of ten. Every 10 men are not as good. He’s not that great. And there are a lot of men like that. So she doesn’t want to date a guy like that.
Obviously, she wants to date the guy who’s a little bit more rare, who makes her feel more special, and so she’s always going to come back because she thought that she has all of these options, and they’re all great, but then she actually dates them and she finds out they are not that special. And then, she also realizes “I’m not that special”, but what about you, the guy that she dated before? You seem kind of special. Do you still think that she is special? That’s how women think. So anyway, with that said, I have a situation from a guy who is exactly in that situation. He dated a girl who was special. She was special to him. He was special to her. They were a great match but she probably saw some other guy, eventually, she got attracted to another guy. He also screwed up a little bit and eventually, she came back to give it another try. So let’s see what is my advice.
Women’s Indecisiveness: When She Comes Back After Pulling Away With Even Higher Level Of Attraction
Hey coach, I’d love to hear your thoughts on women and the kind of weird fact that sometimes women will just run off for some time, and then often they’ll come running back to a man at some of the most unexpected moments. It’s just strange that women are so indecisive on what they want and that they can be really low interest, but then a year later, they can be back and their interest is even higher than it was before. Lol what the fuck?!
Well, for me, this “what the fuck” is actually really nice. Once you detach from that fact that you know, sometimes you screw it up. You’re not perfect. I’m not perfect. I screw up with women sometimes. Especially when I have some bad shit going on in my life, I will feel more insecure, and then I might screw up with a woman. It’s natural. It happens even to the best of us. If you accept that, and then you just don’t give a shit because you have an abundance mentality & you know that there are other women on this planet, and that you can have any other woman on the planet if you just try hard enough… Or well, not try hard enough, but you try often enough… Is probably the better word or better term… Well, then you realize that you’re not losing out that much.
And then once you are detached, it’s really great because you don’t even think about this girl anymore. And a year passed or two years passed, and then all of a sudden, she’s back in your inbox and she’s still as gorgeous as ever. She’s still as funny as ever. And she’s into you again. That’s not what the fuck… That’s like hell yeah! To me, it’s really nice because it’s a nice girl. You had good chemistry. You had a good connection. You know what she’s like and you can just rebuild that chemistry really quickly when she comes back. So for me, that is always a win situation. It’s not WHAT the fuck… It’s WIN the fuck. So for me, it’s nice. And yes, it just happens sometimes that when you least care about a chick, that’s when they come back, because they are always dating guys who give lots of fuck, who are really insecure and needy, and they need their attention, and affection, validation, whereas you just don’t care. You’re like… If she doesn’t come back, whatever, you’re fucking some other chick right now. So who cares? That is why they come back.
Create Rapport With A Woman: Your Male Vision Is What Attracts A Woman To A Man Emotionally
So here’s my yo what the hell story with this girl that I casually dated in the middle of 2021. So I met this girl in 2021 and we’re by the way nomads, kind of similar to you. Just like you, we tend to live in bustling cities, or beaches, so when we first met, it was like we were literally made for each other. Everything about us just clicked. Our personal values were just very much aligned. We even read the same kind of books. We even both had our own ‘life planner’ for our goals. Really just the perfect match. So naturally, our chemistry was also great. Our conversations weren’t shallow at all. They were really meaningful, and she really liked me. She was also really fun. Super hilarious. She didn’t shy away from being playful lol. She once posed for a selfie for my boss to show him what he’s missing out on by the beach haha. So anyway, man, we had chemistry.
Well, to that I just say… Dick! She’s a dick to your boss. “Look, you’re working in your office, or whatever, and I’m here with this chick or he’s with me. Look at me, I’m a hot chick and we’re by the beach. Fuck you, boss!” What a nice girl! No, I’m just kidding. Obviously, she’s got a good sense of humor. That’s kind of funny. You can be playful and do stupid shit with her. That’s a really great great chemistry. Really, you can just be like not so serious. Don’t take your life so seriously. That’s pretty cool and yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I am, well, I’m not a nomad anymore. I don’t consider myself a nomad anymore even though I live in Bali. I don’t move around anymore.
But I definitely like to live in certain places where nomads might hang out more often. I like to live in beautiful places, basically, and yeah, so I know it when you meet this kind of woman… I used to be nomadic… When you meet a woman like this who is just aligned with all of these values, oh shit it is just… She is just one of a kind. Not one of a kind… That would be Oneitis. It’s like that in our language. A thing that we should get out of our heads. She is just very unique and very special. She’s like one out of a 10 000, or something like that. So obviously, when you are with that woman, it is kind of tempting to put too much value on her and become kind of insecure. And I think we’re going to see this in your message that you are kind of insecure. So let’s see what you say about that.
Raise Her Attraction Level: When You Pushed Her Away Always Let Her Leave Gracefully
That’s also kind of what led us to going our own ways. I became a bit insecure because of all the hot guys on the beaches, and yeah, for sure, guys were hitting on her when I wasn’t with her. We didn’t date for very long because I think she could feel my insecurities. She didn’t really reject me or anything. I could just feel that she was feeling awkward around me after a while, and at that point, I just decided to end everything gracefully by not chasing her because I already made her feel uncomfortable. Sadly she didn’t gain back her interest back then, but whatever.
Well, that was the right choice that you’ve made there. You could feel that you were screwing it up and anything that he would have done further would have just made it worse, most likely. So not chasing her and just letting it fizzle out is the best way, because then there’s no awkwardness. There is no her being strongly turned off. Just a little bit turned off, but overall it’s like you’re going your own way. So in a sense that actually symbolized to her that you were respecting yourself and the thing is, if you would have taken it further, she would have really disrespected you, because I can tell that you didn’t fully respect yourself because like you said, you were paying too much attention to these other hot guys by the beach. I totally know what you mean. Everybody here in Bali, and a lot of other similar places, they are just so ripped, or they pay so much attention to their looks, and I think sometimes even too much, that it’s probably a little bit narcissistic. There have actually been studies on this that people who work out too much, they’re kind of narcissistic and my general feeling is from these places like Bali, and Siargao, for example, or Chiang Mai, and so on, Phuket, there are a lot of narcissistic, shitty people there.
So it is kind of normal to sometimes feel like you are not normal, but the reality is that these people, these guys are often not that normal. Now, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be working out and you shouldn’t get ripped. That is fine. But it’s just important to recognize that you don’t have to be like super fucking ripped just to have value as a guy. That’s just bullshit! It’s not like you’re going to maintain that anyways for most of your life. So you gotta be with a woman who will appreciate the dad-bod at some point. It’s just a reality. And if you can’t find a woman like that, or if the woman that you’re dating won’t accept you like that in the future, then she’s just not worth keeping, honestly, because also, you gotta accept her for her flaws in the future as well. She won’t be hot forever, and then she’s gonna have children, her hips are gonna look different, and she’s gonna maybe have what do you call it… Cesarean scar… So she’s gonna look different in the future as well.
So it just doesn’t make any sense to compare yourself to other guys and feel like you’re not hot enough. That just doesn’t make sense. You’re awesome. You’re a king. Appreciate yourself at all times, even if you’re not in your very very best shape. Now, I don’t say that you should be complacent. I think complacency is bullshit. I think that bullshit yourself that you’re not fat, for example, that has nothing to do with body positivity. That just has something to do with ignoring reality, basically. I obviously don’t want you to ignore reality, but you also gotta be real with yourself that you are good enough at some point. Anyway, you did the right thing here. You let it fizzle out. You let it fade out slowly. Let’s see what you continue saying.
I took that relationship as a lesson to not be a stupid fuck and have more emotional self mastery because man, she was absolutely perfect in every way. There was absolutely nothing wrong between us except for my own stupid insecure ego LOL
Well, she was perfect in that moment, but for sure, she wouldn’t be perfect long term, and there would be things that you would discover long term that would piss you off, or that would frustrate you, and so on.
Regain Her Attraction: What Makes A Woman Come Back After A Breakup Even Though You Messed Up
She was one of those rare girls that you only meet out of hundreds of women. So anyway, I licked my wounds and went on with life, and then totally out of nowhere, she sent me a message on WhatsApp one week ago, and now she’s like nothing ever happened and she’s into me again. Note, it’s been one fucking year since we last talked and we had no contact at all. I honestly didn’t even think she’d still know how to contact me lol. Now, I don’t actually need advice right now. I am just going to play it cool for now and keep it going. My question is more like why do women do this? This is the second girl who came back and showed interest in me after making a mistake. Is this something that I can expect to happen with every girl that I screw up with?
So basically, whenever I make a mistake, should I assume that over time she’ll be back? I’m not complaining haha! I just want to understand women a little better. Why don’t they just find another guy, especially in her case, she’s really easy on the eyes. She’s very beautiful. No doubt, she can easily open Tinder and have 10 guys lining up in less than a day. So why don’t women just do exactly that? Anyway, that’s all I’ve got. I’m gonna play my cards right and make sure we’ll have a good time and seduce her. We want to meet up soon and catch up at a beach to which we both haven’t been to yet, and this time, I will not lose my shit because of random guys by the beach. Thanks, coach.
Well, there is not a 100% guarantee that all of them will always be back, but as I said, it’s pretty high chance. Probably like 90-95% chance that at some point, she will reach out to you, unless you screwed it up so batshit crazy. But you didn’t in your case. And so she will, of course, be back. Now, the question is, of course, why is that? Why would she do that? Well, because she’s been dating some guy and that guy didn’t make her happy. So you mentioned this quite well. You had this really good chemistry. You are a nomad. Nomads, in general, are actually, it’s like a certain breed of people. And some nomads are just perpetual travelers. They just can’t stay in one place. I don’t know if that’s you, but obviously, if you’re, for example, a perpetual traveler, then you can only date a perpetual traveler.
Likewise, you have certain characteristics that you liked about each other. So I can tell that you really care about personal growth, and the same books. You read the same books. And even have a life planner. So it felt just perfectly right. How many guys is she going to meet who are exactly like that? A lot of guys are complacent. That’s why I said don’t be complacent. You’re not complacent. That’s why she remembers you pretty much. She dated these guys, they were probably too complacent, or too boring, too uninspiring, and then it didn’t work out for whatever reasons. They were dicks, they didn’t inspire her, she was bored, or she just couldn’t work with them. Too much conflict. Something like that. She breaks up for whatever reason, now she’s single for a while, and then she’s not happy and she remembers you when she’s probably feeling lonely. And then she messages you. That’s how it works. And that’s exactly why you should never freak out when you turn off any woman. Yes, sometimes they won’t come back, but most of the time, they will come back. You will get at least one more chance to make it work, and then if you just have your shit together, then don’t freak out. Don’t compare yourself to other guys. You have no competition. You’re a king. At that point, it’s gonna work out.
So I guess I’m gonna wrap it up like this: I guess it’s a little bit of a contradiction but what I said earlier… On one side you are not that special. Nobody is that special. But on the other side of the coin, you have some special characteristics that she finds interesting, and so even though we are all somewhat similar as people, there are not that many people who have exactly the characteristics that you like, and that she likes. So there’s a great overlap and that’s why she comes back. And ultimately, it’s also just about having your shit together. If she can tell that you’re not insecure, then she will want to come back because she wants to be with a guy who can provide for her. Security, stability, no insecurity. You are the safe haven, the foundation, the rock that she can stand upon. And if things go wrong, she can lean on you, and there’s no problems in her life, because she’s got you.
And if she wouldn’t have you, her life would turn to dust. To shit. Fuck, it would just go down the drain and she would have huge problems! But at least she has you. And if she’s with a guy who she can’t rely on, that guy is just fucking useless, so probably the last guy that she dated was fucking useless. You’re not useless, so that’s why she comes back. So that’s my advice for you. My take on this. Let me know in the comments what you think. And of course, it’s a good thing that you are trying to play it cool. That’s the right approach. Go to a great beach, have some good fun, and then you got this in the bag. You just seduce her again and this time obviously, you don’t compare yourself, and then you’re gonna probably have the sex of your life. All right, so that’s my take. Let me know in the comments what you think. Give me a thumbs up, subscribe to the channel, and never forget to unleash the king within.